Please share: Advice from other weddings

AlliJae

I went to a friend's wedding this weekend and it was tons of fun! Myself and 2 other friends ended up doing a LOT of running around on the day of the wedding to get a lot of the last minute details around...including going to pick up some vegetable dip that was forgotten until 5 minutes before the ceremony. Yikes!
There are a few things I learned from this wedding:
1.) Delegate task effectively and effeciently. You can be so organized and over plan everything, but if you forget to delegate some of the details, it will cause a lot of headaches for those who are TRYING to help you on your big day.
2.) Plan for everything to be done the day before (if possible). I was with the Bride some of the day on Saturday before the wedding and it felt like she was still running around answering questions and getting stressed because of some things that had not been finished (and could have been finished the day before). I plan to have everything done on Friday so that I can enjoy time with my famil and friends on Saturday.

What are some things you have learned from others weddings? Good or bad?

midgetthemighty

My cousin got married last year and I work with his wife. She has told me 549759823448 times to take off work at least two days before the wedding if possible. Like ours, their rehearsal was on Friday night and she said she spent most of her Friday getting stuff done for that instead of the wedding itself.

kelsey+brandon

1- Make sure that you have a wedding coordinator at your church or ceremony venue to make sure everyone know where to go and what to do. It was so confusing at my cousin's wedding a week and a half ago. No one knew what to do and it just didn't look good.

2- Make sure that you and the bridal party don't walk too fast. The processional shouldn't take 5 seconds and you shouldn't cantor.

3- If you and your friends are having a good time, everyone else will too. A good attitude is just as infectious as a bad one and if people see you dancing or doing whatever and having a great time at it, they won't be as self concious and they'll have fun too.

4- Stick to your to do list. Most likely, it's on there for a reason. Delegate a "be done by" date for it and stick to it. There's nothing worse than running around the week of your wedding trying to get things done. I'm going to do everything in my power to have everything done and the necessary items to our reception coordinator the weekend before the wedding.

MMRoberts11

1) Do as much ahead of time as you can.

2) Expect something to go wrong and just roll with it.

3) It's better to over estimate how long things like hair and make-up will take than under estimate.

4) Let the WP know what is going on when.  Schedules the week of, or at the RD for each person are very helpful.

5) If people are helping to set up something, delegate to make things easier for everyone.

6) Stay on top of things as much as you can.

7) If its the day of and you realize something is missing, don't send someone on a wild goose hunt for it, just forget it and move on.

8) Remember to say thank you to those who helped out in any way.

9) Have someone watch the card box during the reception just in case and don't put it next to a door.

10) Communication with vendors is key.

AlliJae

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_please-share-advice-from-other-weddings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:3a8ec51b-8821-4a1f-b093-5df176903c82Post:227dccac-0ea9-41d4-a90a-f063a219a973">Re: Please share: Advice from other weddings</a>:
[QUOTE]1) Do as much ahead of time as you can. 2) Expect something to go wrong and just roll with it. 3) It's better to over estimate how long things like hair and make-up will take than under estimate. 4) Let the WP know what is going on when.  Schedules the week of, or at the RD for each person are very helpful. 5) If people are helping to set up something, delegate to make things easier for everyone. 6) Stay on top of things as much as you can. 7) If its the day of and you realize something is missing, don't send someone on a wild goose hunt for it, just forget it and move on. 8) <strong>Remember to say thank you to those who helped out in any way.</strong> 9) Have someone watch the card box during the reception just in case and don't put it next to a door. 10) Communication with vendors is key.
Posted by MMRoberts11[/QUOTE]

This, too! I've helped a ton with some people's wedding weeekends and while I enjoy doing it, it is nice to appreciated. Even just a simple "Thanks so much" is great. Remember to be gracious and say thank-you!!

Ash61612

all of these are great tips, thanks for sharing!

Nshivers

wow, great set of tips!!  will jot these down.

BluIvory82

Make sure that someone you trust has your marriage licence and the rings. Double check to make sure they have them.

We went to a wedding two weeks ago and the ceremony was 40 minutes late because the MOB forgot those two things. It cut into their reception time which was not a good thing for them.

L&J2012

1. If your family is known to cause drama, DO NOT let them stay at your house for an entire week.
2. Plan a wedding that you can afford, and remember that the reception is a "thank you" to your guests. As a bridesmaid, I got a full glass of champagne. The other guests got half a glass, at most. Also, it was a cash bar all night (I don't even know if they provided water at the table).
3. Budget more than enough time for the hair and makeup appointment, and make sure you know how to get there and back. If possible, do not drive yourself because you're likely stresed out and not paying attention.
4. Try not to leave anything for the last minute. The bride and I ran around doing last-minute errands for the few days before the wedding and it was draining.
5. Make sure someone is in charge of receiving the flowers and distributing them. Pretty sure we only got our flowers because I ran downstairs to find the boxes just sitting on a floor, and I distributed the bouts and corsages and then brought the rest up to the room.
6. I hate head tables, but if you are having one, please be considerate of your WPs' significant others and seat them with people you think they'll get along with, especially if they don't know each other. Poor FI had to sit with a bunch of the bride's fraternity friends (who are all a bit weird), when he could have been sitting at a table with my friends, a couple of whom he'd met before. Needless to say, I spent as much time as I could on his lap at his table.
7. EAT! Eat breakfast, eat lunch, and most importantly, eat dinner! Pretty sure the bride only had a slice of pizza that day, and it was for lunch. You need your energy
8. Don't send thank yous 6 months after the wedding...
9. If a guest has a significant other, then you must invite them. Apparently I was allowed to bring FI because I was in the WP, but a few of my friends were peeved because they couldn't bring their girlfriends (who they'd been dating as long as FI and I had). Cut down your guest list if you can't afford them (they got married the Sunday of Labor Day weekend, and they were definitely struggling to pay for what they did have).

I feel like being in the WP really clued me in on a lot of this. FI and I went to a wedding last May, and it was beautifully done and I have no complaints about it, but I also wasn't in the WP.

daria24

1. Make sure your mother/BM/etc practice bustling your gown before the wedding day-we spent almost 20 minutes trying to do my friend's and ended up giving up and pinning it. (there were 40+ ribbons to tie and the seamstress had used pink and white ribbons, with a single thread tacked into the ribbon and we had to "match" them. Most of the colored threads fell out before the ceremony, and the pink & white ribbons looked IDENTICAL in the room light!).

2. Drink plenty of water during the day and try to get something into your stomach. Ask one of the people getting ready with you to be in charge of making sure you are eating and drinking. 

3. Give your phone to someone else while you are getting ready so you won't be tempted to check messages/facebook/answer phone calls that you don't need to be answering. 

4. Make sure you budget enough time for photos. Every wedding I've ever been in the photos have been SO RUSHED as we try to get them done before the reception. There just isn't enough time in that one hour cocktail hour.

littleluckypenny

Went to my cousin's wedding last year (I was a BM) and learned what NOT to do for weddings:

1) If having a rehearsal, as the bride and groom, you need to get there on time!  Don't have people waiting 1.5 hours for you to show up!

2) If rehearsal is 3 hours long (yes, it took three hours because of all the waiting), HAVE A REHEARSAL DINNER!  After having such a long day and rehearsal, we left starving and all the fast food joints were closing!  Being from OOT, it's not like we could go home to make something to eat.

3) Plan your pictures!  It really sucked to spend all morning waiting around for pictures that never happened to being wisked away for pictures right after the ceremony to try and get them all in before the reception.  By the time I was seated, I hadn't eaten breakfast, I was served a plate that literally was 5 bites of food.  I left the reception absolutely famished.

4)  Be considerate of bridal party with SOs and seat them together.  FI was alone for the majority of the day because of pictures, ceremony, and even the reception.  I really felt bad for him, and I hated it too because I was seated with bridal party members who I had just met at the rehearsal the night before.  It truly sucked.

5) Send thank you notes.  My FI is still pretty peeved at my cousin because we still haven't gotten a thank you note from her JULY 2011 wedding.  We drove 12 hours to get there, gave her a cash gift (which she asked for on the invitation itself), spent 3 hours at the rehearsal, no rehearsal dinner, had 5 bites of food, drove 12 hours back.  She cashed our check the day after the wedding and we haven't received a thank you.  FI was so pissed that he didn't even want to invite her to our wedding (she is).

L&J2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_please-share-advice-from-other-weddings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:3a8ec51b-8821-4a1f-b093-5df176903c82Post:ada0a049-d8f8-49dc-b98f-38954dc5c8e7">Re: Please share: Advice from other weddings</a>:
[QUOTE]Went to my cousin's wedding last year (I was a BM) and learned what NOT to do for weddings: 1) If having a rehearsal, as the bride and groom, you need to get there on time !  Don't have people waiting 1.5 hours for you to show up! 2) If rehearsal is 3 hours long (yes, it took three hours because of all the waiting), HAVE A REHEARSAL DINNER !  After having such a long day and rehearsal, we left starving and all the fast food joints were closing!  Being from OOT, it's not like we could go home to make something to eat. 3) Plan your pictures !  It really sucked to spend all morning waiting around for pictures that never happened to being wisked away for pictures right after the ceremony to try and get them all in before the reception.  By the time I was seated, I hadn't eaten breakfast, I was served a plate that literally was 5 bites of food.  I left the reception absolutely famished. 4)  Be considerate of bridal party with SOs and seat them together .  FI was alone for the majority of the day because of pictures, ceremony, and even the reception.  I really felt bad for him, and I hated it too because I was seated with bridal party members who I had just met at the rehearsal the night before.  It truly sucked. <strong>5) Send thank you notes .  My FI is still pretty peeved at my cousin because we still haven't gotten a thank you note from her JULY 2011 wedding.  We drove 12 hours to get there, gave her a cash gift ( which she asked for on the invitation itself ), spent 3 hours at the rehearsal, no rehearsal dinner, had 5 bites of food, drove 12 hours back.  She cashed our check the day after the wedding and we haven't received a thank you.  FI was so pissed that he didn't even want to invite her to our wedding (she is).</strong>
Posted by littleluckypenny[/QUOTE]

My FI is a little peeved at bride mentioned in my post. Not only did it take her 6 months to send the thank you, but the thank you was directed towards me and FI was not mentioned at all. I felt bad for FI because he had to drop me off super early in the morning the day of, he saw me during the ceremony, and then finally after toasts and dinner I was able to go over to him. I was worried that maybe they didn't really intend to invite him (his name wasn't on the invite but I went ahead and wrote in his name anyways... because we were engaged and therefore very much so a social unit). He kept asking if we really had to invite them, and I said yes because we need to show them how a wedding is done, the right way haha.

Ash61612

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_please-share-advice-from-other-weddings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:3a8ec51b-8821-4a1f-b093-5df176903c82Post:c68a6b49-f4f3-42c0-8f26-cf9afe886e58">Re: Please share: Advice from other weddings</a>:
[QUOTE].  7. EAT! Eat breakfast, eat lunch, and most importantly, eat dinner! Pretty sure the bride only had a slice of pizza that day, and it was for lunch. You need your energy <strong>8. Don't send thank yous 6 months after the wedding... </strong>9. If a guest has a significant other, then you must invite them. Apparently I was allowed to bring FI because I was in the WP, but a few of my friends were peeved because they couldn't bring their girlfriends (who they'd been dating as long as FI and I had). Cut down your guest list if you can't afford them (they got married the Sunday of Labor Day weekend, and they were definitely struggling to pay for what they did have). I feel like being in the WP really clued me in on a lot of this. FI and I went to a wedding last May, and it was beautifully done and I have no complaints about it, but I also wasn't in the WP.
Posted by L&J2012[/QUOTE]

I still haven't gotten a thank you card for the wedding I was MOH in last september, or the shower I co-hosted last July for her. Where are your manners people?

littleluckypenny

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_please-share-advice-from-other-weddings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:3a8ec51b-8821-4a1f-b093-5df176903c82Post:21549b21-de5e-4a29-80af-e5968d800274">Re: Please share: Advice from other weddings</a>:
[QUOTE]He kept asking if we really had to invite them, and I said yes because we need to show them how a wedding is done, the right way haha.
Posted by L&J2012[/QUOTE]

I totally understand.  I was talking to her when I got engaged, and she mentioned "If you need ideas let me know, because I cut a lot of corners for my wedding and it was great".  I really wanted to say "Yeah, it looked great, but the corners you cut involved treating guests like crap.  No thanks."

Carebear62584

We met with our DOC on Friday.  It was the first time we actually met him and just like everyone said, he was soooooooooo on the ball.  One thing he told us we didn't even think of.  The day of the rehearsal give your DOC/venue a list of important numbers.  This would include all parents, bridal party, limo companies, hotels that people may be staying at, florist, DJ, photographer, someone doing a reading, etc.  He said he copies it and puts it in our file and also keeps a copy on himself so if we are forgetting something or someone is missing he can whip it out and call them.

I was a BM in my friend's wedding in December and it appeared that I was the only one that paid for my hair.  I was the 2nd one there getting my hair done and when the stylist was leaving I was the one that spoke up to see if she was squared away and the bride said "sorry, I just couldn't do it"  I said that's fine because I planned on paying for my hair anyway.  Well, I'm the only one that paid that I know of and did not even receive a BM's gift (not that it's mandatory, but still made me feel like I spent all my money since I had to travel for it).  Mind you I met very few people at her shower/bachelorette and she didn't even seat FI and I with people we knew, we sat at the table full of randoms where nobody knew each other.  Needless to say, I didn't have fun at the wedding. Please don't treat your bridesmaids like this!

jaime10285

If people stand when the bride walks down the aisle, have the minister/JOP/whoever tell them to sit.  Nobody did this at my cousin's wedding so we stood the whole time.  It was literally a 5 minute ceremony but still, awkward.  Also, the JOP skipped the whole part of her giving him the ring!  So make sure you actually rehearse at the rehearsal!

melntaitt

1. If you have an outdoor wedding, plan for bugs and the elements - there' nothing worse than your guests being distracted by nature and not enjoying all your hard planning.

2. Say your vows like you mean it! If you whisper and look at the floor, the people watching you will wonder...what the hell???

3. Party at the party! If you don't open the dance floor, people will be waiting for it. Then the person who opens it will likely be drunk cousin George ready to do the cha cha slide.

4. Make sure you spend a few moments alone to take it all in - my friend told me that her and her husband went out on the balcony and looked back in the room where everyone was having a good time. She emphatically (and tearfully) informed me that moment made the headache of wedding planning worth it....