QOTD 3/14

MMRoberts11

Are you where you thought you would be in life at this point?  Why or why not?

cabates1

Good question!   Home life - this is a second marriage for me and my FI.  I never would have thought that would be the cases, when I said forever the first time I believed it.   Life has strange turns and I think this one is great!   My work life is on track too.   Doing better than I imagined  by learning alot myself and helping kids in need.  Life is good!

Megbo2012

Nope. I didn't expect my life to be so far along and perfect. IE I live a way different life than my friends, but a similar life to my older friends who are almost 30.  I mean, we just bought a full dining room set yesterday that is BEAUTIFUL. (Dining room table, 6 chairs, China Cabinet, and buffet hutch). We have a desk and living room furniture and bedroom furniture so we are all set furniture wise! Our apartment will just seem way more like a real apartment and less a hodge podge mess of hand me downs. 

mashavoo

No i never thought my life would be like this....things don't really turn out the way you plan..at least for me...we are renewing our vows because we never had the chance to have a wedding..we got married in our living room with one witness...we already had 2 children...we met in highschool and it seems like we do everything backwards!!LOL...

abyhow we are now having our dream wedding after 22 years....WOW..i never imagined we'd be together for so long....my life had had is ups and downs....This is my life and i never thought I'd be doing the things that i do

we had our daughter right out of highschool..she's 1 now and helping plan our wedding..i've been a stay at home mom for 12 years...i thought i'd be the one with a great career with all the frills..not so..but i love my life..its who i am

melntaitt

Definitely not - I got sidetracked by my first marriage and I never finished my degree. I'm at a place that's not as far as I would have hoped but better than I could have imagined.

The degree is all done, commencement is soon and a wedding in a few months. Could not ask for more.

ncd5015

Yes and no. I always thought I would get married a short time out of college but I never thought I'd be working with my family.  Nor did I think I would move to NC. I'm really enjoying the life I have and I wouldn't change it. I'm excited to see what the next step has in store!

chelseakopperud

I think it depends on the perspective you are coming from... the college Chelsea would have thought I had a much higher profile career, working long hours and working my way to the top. WHen I became a mom, that all changed! After I had Carter, I thought I would be on the fast track to marriage and more kids. I am so happy to be right where I am at though!

midgetthemighty

Meg, I'm jealous of your non-hodgepodge hand me down furniture. :-p

There are some things I expected and others I didn't.

I thought I'd be married already and I'm honestly pretty mad at myself for telling FI early on in our relationship (or maybe even before since we were close then too) that I'd want to be dating for at least a year before getting engaged. He's a good listener, that man. Oh well, I wouldn't have "met" you lovely ladies if we got married earlier.

I always knew I'd have graduated from college by now.

I thought I'd have a teaching job by now.

Overall, my life is where I want it to be. I'm happy, marrying the love of my life and I'm not even moving out of my hometown. I'm not sure I could handle moving more than 45 minutes away from here.

cwill6212

Definitely not - I expected to be married with children years ago! But it was not the right time and I am SO thankful for all I went through to get to this point. Even though it's not how I "planned", it's a million times better than I could have imagined.

Wedding in just 80 days, college graduation in Dec ... I'm excited to see what the future holds!

sleblanc72

Yes and no.  I always knew I would be graduating college after 4 years but always went back and forth on grad school (and have now decided to let it be for now).  Since I've been with Fi since the summer before my senior year I always thought we would be married after we both finished school and were working decent full time jobs (which we both are).  I never thought I'd be soul searching so much at this point and feeling like while everything is going forward nothing is going forward so much.  Myself at 20 could have told you exactly what I thought I wanted in life and myself at 25 could tell you only that I want to be happy and true to myself, whatever that may mean for the future.

goodine11

I think I am , I did not want to get married or have kid until I was thirty. I wanted to enjoy my twenties with only having myself as a responsibility. I thought, I would have done more traveling by now. However, the wedding is a month and two days before I turn thrity and now I have a traveling buddy. We plan on doing a lot of traveling. Seeing the world and the USA.

As far as Education, yes I completed my Master's at twenty six. One thing that I didn't think I would be doing is an Administator ( Special Education Coordinator) at my school. I thought I would still be a full time teacher. It's cool, but now that I am here I am dreaming bigger.

chelseamb11

Not really. I never had any expectations for life because I didn't want to ever be disappointed. But honestly, it's better than I was hoping

HarperBargo

Yes. All I have ever wanted was to be a happy, healthy, independent, strong woman and to live my life in being true to myself and on my schedule. As life has given me twists and turns along the way but it makes me who I am and I'm proud of that.

Shelly527IN

In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddingchannel.com/main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_qotd-314?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:404b6bd4-1433-4795-87ef-a0d3b3d57dd4Post:f279e086-4099-465e-8039-d53929278de5">Re: QOTD 3/14</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Definitely not - I expected to be married with children years ago! But it was not the right time and I am SO thankful for all I went through to get to this point. Even though it's not how I "planned", it's a million times better than I could have imagined.</strong> Wedding in just 80 days, college graduation in Dec ... I'm excited to see what the future holds!
Posted by cwill6212[/QUOTE]

This!  My "plan" was to be married a year after I graduated college in 1998 and have four kids---two years apart.  I thought I'd have a stable teaching career teaching kindergarten or one of the lower grades, not teaching special ed or being a math coach.  Wow, there's no way I ever thought I wouldn't get married until I was 37!  I never imagined falling in love with a turky-hunting mechanic from Maine that's 4 years younger than me either.  :)   All in all though, things right now are GREAT! 

sweet_melissa81

I always thought by now I would be married and living in a castle. LOL That was always plan at age 5 or so.

LOL

I honestly thought that I would never get married because I never wanted to feel trapped in a relationship. My parents are divorced, I've dated the wrong guys in my past, and my upbringing was super dysfunctional. Honestly, if it would have been up to me to propose I would probably still be "thinking about it." I'm just super cautious to a point that I miss out on things or wait too long to get things done because I am so scared of making a the wrong decision.

In my more younger years, when I was more optimistic; I had hoped that by now I would have my bachelors  and be married with a baby or two.

Everything happens for a reason though and had a married the first person I thought I wanted to marry I would most certainly be divorced by now. For me, waiting until I was 30 years old to get married was the right thing. I needed more time than most to know myself and work through some things. I'm okay with it.

I am disappointed in myself with my schooling. My fears of failure have held me back and there is no reason why I should have a bachelors degree by now. It's my own fault that I have a dead end job and going to school at 30 years old and being an undergrad still.

kks4471

I think I'm in a good place with life right now.  We're about to be married, we have a house together, and I'm happy with work right now.  No complaints from me!

DrPB2b13

No...then yes....then no.

Growing up I dealt with incredible depression, to the point where I figured I just wasn't a strong or smart enough person to get an education and move out on my own, despite having supportive and well-educated parents.  I never, ever saw myself in this position.

After meeting my ex, we both figured we'd be together forever, and planned to get married right out of college, move to NYC, have lots of kids right away and then I'd go back to school.  Obviously, this didn't happen; he dumped me, and I figured I'd go to grad school right out of college, and maybe meet someone there.

I met FI a little over a year later but never thought he'd be this supportive of my desire to go to grad school.  I could, however, see myself marrying him almost immediately   There were a lot of long and serious talks about our futures and where we wanted to go/be/do.  We didn't get engaged until we'd been dating for over 18 months, but we talked about it quite seriously almost from day one.  I did, however, think I'd be in a PhD program, not a MA, and living in a different state.

I'm glad we are where we are, though; I feel sometimes like it's all working out like it's "supposed" to

Zimsgirl

Nope. FI is the only guy I've ever been with. No guys had ever shown any interest in me so I didn't even think I'd have bf yet let alone getting married. Life's full of surprises

DrPB2b13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_qotd-314?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:404b6bd4-1433-4795-87ef-a0d3b3d57dd4Post:145c01b1-ad31-4427-9991-37d9dcdd83d6">Re: QOTD 3/14</a>:
[QUOTE]I am disappointed in myself with my schooling. My fears of failure have held me back and there is no reason why I should have a bachelors degree by now. <strong>It's my own fault that I have a dead end job and going to school at 30 years old and being an undergrad still.</strong>
Posted by sweet_melissa81[/QUOTE]

Don't be disappointed!  Sometimes we need to get over those personal hurdles before we can be truly successful.

I think our society is crazy to push the idea that everyone should go to college straight out of high school; it promotes a culture of shame and embarrassment among people who "coulda/shoulda/woulda" and didn't.  My job is working with undergraduates at one of the top universities in the country, to help them gain skills in time management and study habits.  Most of these kids never should have gone to college straight out of high school - they don't know what they want to do, they have no motivation to do the work, and they feel really down on themselves because this is what they're "supposed" to be doing and they don't want to.  It's awful; they should definitely be off, following non-college paths and experiencing the real world for a few years before they come back to finish their bachelors degrees.

midgetthemighty

Melissa, don't let anyone (including yourself) beat you up for not doing more in school until now. You're doing it now and that's awesome! The "non-traditional student" (I hate that term) is becoming more popular and I hope they drop the term soon. Everyone in college is a student. There shouldn't be other labels like that. You should be proud of yourself!

janeash

I don't really know where i thought I'd be at this stage in my life, but it probably was nothing like this!  Staight out of highschool, I had no interest in college.  But then as summer ended, I changed my mind and enrolled in a Costuming for Theatre and Film program.....I really wanted to get into fashion.  The last thing I wanted to do was anything business related (both my parents work in HR so that was the last place I wanted to go).  Lo and behold, I am now working full time as an office assistant and going to university at night school to get my Bachelor of Business admin in HR.  Funny that.

As for the love life, I never thought I'd get married this early.  When I met FI and we started to get serious, we really had to come to terms with the fact that since he is Aussie and I am Cdn, one of us would be living away from our families.  I always thought I'd never live anywhere away from my family.  In a couple years, once FI's citizenship comes through here though, we will be moving back to Australia.  Definitely didn't think I'd ever be doing that!!!!

Anyways, I'm in a happy place and working towards achieving my goals in life with my best friend by my side, so I can't complain about the way things turned out!

drewmw

Yep! Working as an RN, in a serious relationship, living away from my parents!

L&J2012

No. Back in high school I imagined myself being a forensic scientist for the FBI or something. I was hopeful that I'd have a bit more luck on the relationship front (no male interest whatsoever during high school, but I don't think I cared too much then). Halfway through college, I'm an electrical engineering major and I figured I'd be doing something in R&D or something. No real luck on the relationship front so I was starting to resign myself to becoming a crazy dog lady or something. I did many things I regret now, because I had no respect for my body. Now, I'm a manufacturing engineer and working at a job that I LOVE. I'm getting married in 3 1/2 months. I was just about to completely give up hope when I met FI. So glad I didn't before then! I am really happy with where my life is right now.

sleblanc72

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_qotd-314?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:404b6bd4-1433-4795-87ef-a0d3b3d57dd4Post:74e6be5e-0cc7-4237-ab97-9f66aadd6c80">Re: QOTD 3/14</a>:
[QUOTE]Melissa, don't let anyone (including yourself) beat you up for not doing more in school until now. You're doing it now and that's awesome! The "non-traditional student" (I hate that term) is becoming more popular and I hope they drop the term soon. Everyone in college is a student. There shouldn't be other labels like that. You should be proud of yourself! :)
Posted by midgetthemighty[/QUOTE]
100% this!  I have several family members that decided to go to school much later in life then society tells us we're supposed to, think in their 40's.

MMRoberts11

Yes and no.  I knew by now I'd be where I am with school but I thought I'd originally be moving after the wedding to another state.  Now, I'm staying in MI for at least another 5 years since we are trying to buy a house.  I also was hoping to be making more than I am but that's the economy and business for you. 

In life overall I've definitely veered a little on and off of what I've wanted to do and it's changed lately but overall I think that everything I've done has helped me get where I am now and I'd definitely not be the same person without them.  I'll definitely get to where I want to be but it may take a little longer than I'd originally hoped for.

Elizabeth80

I'm a few years behind on where I thought I wanted to be but I'm soo grateful for that delay. I wanted to be married either in college or before I graduated in '02. That delay gave me plenty of time to do things that I never dreamed of. A few trips out of the country, mentoring teens for 12 years and enjoying living in my favorite place in the world, St. Louis.

I feel like I have no regrets and lived up my single years and am so ready to give it up to be married to the man of my dreams...he was definitely worth the wait!

melfacto

No, I never expected to be 25, have a fab career, with huge potential for growth, I hold professional designations that I thought maybe by 30 I'd have... to be a home owner for almost 3 years and be marrying the man of my dreams, I have been incredibly lucky over the last 7-8 years since my parents divorce when I was 17 I thought my life was falling apart around me and than I met FI My mom has always said everything happens for a reason, and mine and FI's hard work and dedication will pay off... we can't wait to be married and hopefully have children in a few years, looking forward to this chapter in our lives

Carebear62584

Putting myself in the high school frame of mind.....

I had no interest in school and was really only going to college for the social life.  I was tired of my friends. (I grew up in a small town where our graduating class was about 110 and every girl was "best' friends with every other girl at some point throughout school.)  I ended up going to college an hour away....far enough to live away from home, but close enough to go home on weekends.  I met the best girls in college because I lived in an all girls dorm freshman year (not by choice but it worked out well.)  I went to grad school for teaching right out of college and got my master's in Elementary Ed.  After graduating over 3 years ago I thought I'd have a teaching job by now.  In that aspect I am disappointed in my life, but I am working my butt off and applying for tons of jobs!

As for getting married.  I always wanted to be married and having kids by 25.  My ex boyfriend in college totally changed that mindset.  He was emotionally abusive and an alcoholic so I was afraid to break up with him and quite frankly I did get sucked in.  He was a total Jekyll and Hyde depending on if he was drinking.  After 2 1/2 years I broke up with him, had a great next few years before ending up with FI.  We both have said we want to be married for at least a year before we start having kids, but I'd like to have my first by the time I'm 30.  The way it's looking I will be 30 when I have one.  My brother is getting married July 5th 2013 so I don't want to be pregnant for his wedding so it will have to wait until after. 

kelsey+brandon

Yes and no. I definitely thought I would be getting married at this point in life, but I'm not exactly where I want to be professionally. I have a pretty great job and I'm extremely thankful for it, I'm just not where I want to be in the long run. After FI gets a better job, I'm going to start seeing if I can find something in the fields that I want to be in.

I also really want to open my own men's clothing store, so I'm going to get more serious about that after the wedding.

brittneyh4

I'm definitely not anywhere near where I thought I would be. I thought I would be married straight out of high school (oh the young, dumb love blinders!) and figured I would be done having kids by the time I was 25. I'm turning 25 and getting married within 3 weeks of each other, so I definitely didn't do that according to plan, and I thank God for it! My life, I think, is SO much better and.. not easier, but smoother (?) than it would've been had I done things drastically different. I can't imagine having a school aged kiddo right now - yikes. I don't even want 'em for another year or two now!

MissyB1313

Are you where you thought you would be in life at this point?  Why or why not?

Yes and no. Relationship wise, yes. I always thought I'd be married young, 20-21... I'll turn 21 3 weeks before our wedding. I wanted kids before I wanted to get married. (SO happy FI made me wait on that decision.) Now it's looking like they're still 3 years away. Career-wise, no. I never imagined starting as a fresh hairstyling apprentice in a chain salon would give me the wonderful career it has so early. I've already been running the salon I'm at now for almost a year, and got my journeymen (journeywoman) ticket last summer with a red seal. I'm extremely proud of what I've accomplished career-wise by 21.