Vent - Am I being selfish?

chelseakopperud

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_vent-am-i-being-selfish?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:4c4c8ed4-48fd-4145-bbb4-c71e63a96912Post:856f785f-7e2f-4ec6-9ba7-aa7d6e028462">Re: Vent - Am I being selfish?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think we need to look at it this way : everyone has a different opinion. If you are invited to a wedding without your kids, and you feel slighted by that, rather than thinking the B&G are rude jerks, you just understand that their thoughts on the issue are different than yours. Either decline the invite, or decide to call grandma for the night and go on a date night. No one is rude for having an opinion, its just rude to lash out at someone for having a different one. Chelsea is by far the sweetest person...so...I'm confused how she is being dragged into being called rude. I think stress levels are ultra high this week, sheesh!
Posted by MiksChick23[/QUOTE]

Like <3

WEEZIE918

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_vent-am-i-being-selfish?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:4c4c8ed4-48fd-4145-bbb4-c71e63a96912Post:9608df35-4d46-4c19-b327-a3ff4ebbb3a1">Re: Vent - Am I being selfish?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Vent - Am I being selfish? : You called me rude for having an opinion... I can quote it if you would like. If my opinion is "rude" then oh well.... I guess its rude. 
Posted by chelseakopperud[/QUOTE]

No I didn't.  My first post didn't mention anything being rude; my second one asked why you thought it was rude (since you indicated that in your opinion it was rude) and I shared my opinion of thinking it's rude that someone would think that I am being rude for not allowing kids.  I also indicated that I would respect someone's choice if they chose not to come.  Then you assumed that I "would love the chance to leave my kids home with a sitter" (which sounded kind of judgy, but maybe not meant that way - hard to know in text) and said it was rude that I would assume that other parents would want that.  I didn't say that absolutely everyone wants the chance to have an evening without kids.  I said I might like it.  And in the same post you say "And you think I am rude for <strong>thinking your rude</strong>? What? Its called an opinion..."   The bold part sounds like you do think I am rude.  Same post:  "so you are pretty much telling those parents you are only getting an invite so we get a gift since we <strong>knwo you cant come</strong> because we wont allow your infant to come.<strong> Rude</strong>. "  No, I don't KNOW they can't come...they can come if they would like to.

Initially, all I asked was WHY you thought the action of not allow kids was rude.  That isn't calling you rude.  I wanted to hear the reasoning behind your opinion.  I respect that some people want kids and some people don't.  I don't think either ACTION is RUDE.  It's each person's right to choose what they want to do (it's certainly not bad etiquette), as long as they realize that others will also choose what is right for them.

melntaitt

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_vent-am-i-being-selfish?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:4c4c8ed4-48fd-4145-bbb4-c71e63a96912Post:2bcd5192-a5ff-4883-847d-9e4ff228e7e4">Re: Vent - Am I being selfish?</a>:
[QUOTE] Just because your mother wants her grandson to attend the wedding, that does not mean that your brother and sister in law are intending on bringing him. Maybe they are excited to have a New Parent Night Out with out the little guy?  I would chat with your brother and  SIL and explain to them your situation. How you and your FI put this rule in place and he has enforced it for everyone in his family. Posted by jaschelle[/QUOTE]

I completely agree with this; your mom may want it and you may not mind it, but the parents may have a completely different idea of how they want their night to look.

kimiandgary

First, you need to ask your brother and SIL what they want to do.

If they would like to bring he baby you can allow it if a) your FI won't be livid, b) no other siblings children that young were declined and c) you are ok with him being there.

You are in no way being selfish. Your mom is. A wedding isn't a family reunion unless you want it to be.

Rethany

My head hurts after reading this thread.

And I could have put money on it that the "It's YOUR wedding, do what YOU want!" line would be thrown into this conversation.

OP- Do you have other neices/nephews?  If this is the only nephew you have, I would let him come.  I don't think people would be pissed that you let your nephew come, but not any other kids.  I don't see why you wouldn't want him there anyways?  Like some previously said, it isn't like he will be running around creating havoc.  I have a year old nephew that I can't imagine not having there, he's close family no matter what age, but if you really don't want him there and your brother and SIL aren't upset by him not being invited, then I guess don't have him.