Washington-Seattle

Can you believe this?

Sorry this is a rant but I'll keep it short. My mom left me a message this morning that she will only be able to attend my bridal shower hosted in my FI hometown for 2 hours becuase she has a concert to go to with her boyfriend. This makes me so livid. She has never been to FIL's house or met their friends and family. She's going to look pretty bad when she is the first one to leave.

So I called her back and left her a message saying how much that hurts me (cause she isn't involved or interested in anothing wedding related and already ditched on on several wedding related events and my dad is already not here to celebrate this special time in my life). How thankful is she going to look when she doesn't even stay the entire party, doesn't stay after to say thank or visit, or help clean up??!!!

I decided that if she doesn't come up with a new plan I will just tell her that she doesn't have to worry about coming since she has other things to do. I have offically decided it would be more fun without her than having her be there out of obligation.

I hate that she makes my wedding feel like such a NEGATIVE thing!!!

Thanks for listening!

Re: Can you believe this?

  • edited December 2011
    *hugs* I'm sorry.  That's really selfish of her.  FWIW, WE care about your wedding. :)  But regarding how she is, I don't have any advice since I probably would be saying the same thing to her that you plan on if I were in your shoes. 
    image
    Family fall photo session with Ashley Hoyle Photography
    Married 7/10/10
    Wedding Planning Bio - Updated 6/13/2010
    Anniversary
  • edited December 2011
    hugs!!!!! i'm sorry, she sounds like a pain. and she'll only regret acting the way she is. i'm sorry!!!!!!
    BabyFruit Ticker BabyFetus Ticker we're having twins!
  • Kaye SmithKaye Smith member
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Wow - it's insane how adults can be so immature!  It sounds like you're handling it well despite everything.....I'm so sorry that you've got to deal with that!
  • edited December 2011
    Thanks girls for listening and caring. I never thought this would be me saying this but things have changed so much since my dad died and my mom started dating. All she cares about is herself:( Thanks again- you all are so helpful!
  • edited December 2011
    Yuck, I'm sorry Trisha!  And I ditto what tygirl said!  We care!
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • alyssa324alyssa324 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I am sorry. Both my parents and FI parents are very selfish people. So I understand why you want to tell her not to bother. I would probably do the same thing.
  • edited December 2011
    I'm so sorry Trisha :( **hugs** I can understand about parents going through selfish times, especially when their kids are grown up, but it IS your wedding! My mom can frequently be selfish, but she keeps saying, "It's my only daughter's wedding...I would kick myself for missing out!"  I can only hope your mom comes to her senses and realizes that alienating her daughter during such an important time of your life is NOT worth some fleeting concert or boyfriend.
    Daisypath Vacation tickers
  • edited December 2011

    :) Thanks...I'm feeling the love!

  • Koolkay83Koolkay83 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    That sucks Trisha....I know how you feel but from my step-father perspective.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • carrieoz_76carrieoz_76 member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Trisha,  I'm so sorry she's being this hurtful to you.  It's not fair, and it sucks because there's nothing you can do about it.  Speaking as someone a little older than others, I feel like I may have a different perspective on this than some other girls.  I've learned that it's best to just let people decide how involved they want to be in my life, accept what they can offer, try not to expect more, and really appreciate the heck out of those people who come through for me.  (of course if they're terribly hurtful, though, then I don't keep them around long)

    That being said, I wouldn't ask her not to come.  I would just allow her to come for the time she chooses to come, and try to adjust my expectations of her in the future.  I worry that you'd really regret it later if you contributed to her not being there.  I also think it doesn't hurt to be honest with her - tell her that it's important to you that she stay longer so she can meet your new family.

    Best of luck with all this.
  • edited December 2011
    Thanks! She apparently changed her plans. We will see...only time will tell. Either way I am going to have a blast at my first shower! :)
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards