Therapy Thursday 5/17

MMRoberts11

NFT

melntaitt

So on a good note, they located the person who stole my identity - 4 years after the fact but she's in custody. Meanwhile, I'm on the phone with all sorts of people having to prove who I am. I've been me for 26 years and it's pretty demeaning to be on the phone with a bunch of different official sounding people having to prove I am who I say I am.

All these crimes this lovely woman committed under my name aren't just going away either; isn't that grand? So I'm going to spend the morning trying to locate a lawyer - or step in front of a bus. Something is going to have to happen soon though - I can't take much more.

peachykeen26

I woke up super dizzy this morning. I hope its allergies because I feel disgusting, I think I may have to get FMIL drive me to the doctor this morning for my bloodwork.

Urchin9

Imma start a s***-storm here but whatever...

This place feels like it's getting too clique-y.  I was really happy with how things were around here. We used to be a very friendly board and now everyone is getting snarky and nit-picky.

 I haven't had anyone personally come after me but  I can totally tell who the majority here do and don't care for.

Megbo2012

Ugh I have a vent. I loved our board's dynamics, we laughed, we cried, we helped a sista out, it was great. With many of us having longer engagements we really connected. Then all of a sudden, like 2-3 months before our weddings, a flood of newbs came in. With terrible grammar, posts riddled with spelling errors, posts that are incoherent, and posts that I just don't give two shiits about. Who comes in this late in the game and then bitches that they don't fit in? I don't get it, and the whining and complaining is tiresome.

midgetthemighty

Amen Megbo! Especially that second paragraph. This is a message board where your only form of communication is the written word. Walls of text, horrible grammar, and tons of misspellings just make it almost impossible to read.

It's equivalent to someone walking up to you in real life wearing lingerie in public and speaking in text speak. That wouldn't give you a good first impression, just like the posts we find annoying on here don't give a good first impression.

AlliJae

People are sick in my office today and coughing all over and sneezing, clearing their throats! I am going to scream. I DO NOT want to get sick.

END lame vent.

KrisKenny

I just found out last night that FI"s ex-wife MIGHT be going to jail if she doesn't come up with like $3K. I guess she has a court date in June that she's supposed to pay whatever back to whoever and if she doesn't the judge has threatened to lock her up. I don't know the entire story as we are hearing it 3rd party, but that will change the entire dynamics of our household. It would mean that FI's 3 children (that show little or no respect for me or other adults) would be living with us. We have the room for it, and I truely do care for them, but it would not be the ideal situation. I guess I'm just being a little selffish but that wouldn't be the best wedding present.

Personally, I think the judge would give her an extension because she has custody of the 3 children, but FI isn't sure.

Ok, end vent.

amandaf6383

I am relatively new to this board. I've been on off and on throughout my engagement but I have been really busy with work, school, and renovating our home...I hope my posts aren't unwelcome!

That being said, I'm also a grammar "nazi" and I think that it's great to have a board where adult women are actually expected to write like adults.

My vent today is pretty minor but when I got to work, I discovered the elevators were out and I had to walk up fifteen floors. Not a good day to wear my stilettos!

DrPB2b13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_therapy-thursday-517?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:54bdfd47-5006-449c-87dd-8c4f32c6783aPost:773f6d00-120b-4282-b2b0-b7c65c56b546">Re: Therapy Thursday 5/17</a>:
[QUOTE]Imma start a s***-storm here but whatever... This place feels like it's getting too clique-y.  I was really happy with how things were around here. We used to be a very friendly board and now everyone is getting snarky and nit-picky.  I haven't had anyone personally come after me <strong>but  I can totally tell who the majority here do and don't care for.</strong>
Posted by Urchin9[/QUOTE]

I understand where you're coming from, but it has always been obvious who the "majority" do and don't care for - literally, right from the get-go.  If you go back to the very beginning of this board, you can still see it.  It's what happens when you're posting among a large group of women, particularly those under stress (wedding, work, family, life).  AND it's the way internet forums work, even huge ones with 20,000+ active members.

ETA:  New posts and new posters aren't unwelcome.  If you look back at the threads that have been received negatively and really read through them it's generally easy to understand why. 

midgetthemighty

Wow Kris, I'm sorry she puts you through some much stress. Maybe moving in with you, if it happens, would ultimately make the kids respect adults. It will all work out in the end! If only we could see the big picture right now.

Amanda, I'm on the 16th floor and I can't even imagine. I'd probably just leave. Especially since our badges don't even let us in on our floor via the stairwells.

To expand on the Dr's post, it is impossible that a huge group of people would get along with every single other person in the group. Impossible. She's completely right about how it's always been like this.

Lambbop

I hate how my mom is still being super nice to our florist even after she screwed us over and insulted me. I also hate that my mom wouldn't let me fire her and just decided she would pay for the flowers instead of me since I sure as heck wasn't going to pay that woman.

Enabling someone to keep up their crappy/shady business practices is just setting her up for the next person to fire her. Which I sincerely hope happens. She needs to be knocked down from her high horse and realize that sometimes 1) brides change their mind and 2) if you sign a contract YOU as a business owner have to stick to it too!!! It's not just the customer who has to stick to it! Imagine that.

Urchin9

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_therapy-thursday-517?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:54bdfd47-5006-449c-87dd-8c4f32c6783aPost:596569b0-72cd-4536-b86c-bdcaa7864c07">Re: Therapy Thursday 5/17</a>:
[QUOTE] ETA:  New posts and new posters aren't unwelcome.  If you look back at the threads that have been received negatively and really read through them it's generally easy to understand why. 
Posted by DrPB2b13[/QUOTE]

I dunno, I have been a part of this group for a long time now, and it just seems more evidant that some members are passively picking at a few select people.

Then again it could just be potential PMS causing me to be irritated by everything...DF swears AF must be coming (It's been 15 months since I last saw her). I've been stoopid cranky these last couple of days.

Nshivers

Had a 14-hour work day yesterday.  My legs hurt from being on my feet for what was probably 12 of those 14 hours.  I am gonna soak in the tub again today.

Megbo2012

Have you been part of this group for a long while Urchin? Oh you must mean you lurked a lot. You can't think you are one of the gang with just over 200 posts.  

And the passive aggressiveness has gone both ways.  Since you have lurked so much of late, surely you've noticed that too!

kelsey+brandon

TK related: I really hate how this board has been lately. People are getting so offended by every little thing. It's seriously becoming about the older regs vs. the newbs and I'm so over it. The only people concerned about it are the newbs. Guess what? It doesn't matter if you have 2 posts or 20,000, if you type like a 2nd grader, it's going to annoy people. If you correct someone's grammar we're all  going to agree with you (even if it's a person with 2 posts correcting someone with 20,000). We take the side of who is right, not how long they've been posting. I certainly correct FI when he uses improper grammar. {Side bar: When he says 25 cent instead of centS, it drives me INSANE.}

 

Besides the fact that if some troll comes on here to start trouble, you better believe we're going to back our friend up. The majority of the "regs" have been posting on this board for at least a year. You become a lot closer with people and know a lot more about them in that time than we'll ever hope to know about someone who comes posting less than 2 months after your wedding. That doesn't mean we aren't accepting of new people. It just means don't get your panties in a wad because we probably don't care as much about your problem as we do someone that we've "known" for a while.

 

 

Real Life Vent: I'm having major wedding-itis right now. I still have a good bit to do, but I'm so ready for the wedding day to get here. I'm also stressing about my dress because they've not taken it in twice and it's still way way way too big! As in "my mom can fit her arm into the back of my dress" big. Ugh.

chelseakopperud

Compared to some of the ladies on here, I am *new*... I think I joined in July or August of 2011..... yet I get along with almost everyone. Some of the newbs drive me crazy... we have all formed a bond and if you think you can just throw yourself in among a group of ladies this large and demand that everyone is to love you- then you need to get out more in real life... because it just isnt like that.

My Vent: I am sick of the newbs complaining. If its that bad on TK then leave. We arent stopping you.

Megbo2012

Youtube Video Skip to 1:00

Sorry I just had to! Could not help myself! Must be Pms!

LiveLaughLove04

Amen Kelsey and Meg and Midge and PB!  I have the same feelings that this is a great group of women but when you're suddenly inundated with a bunch of new people after a year plus of being together as a group it's frustrating.  Especially with the posting styles as of late, as I've said a few times now I can't get through something when it is poorly written with no paragraphs, poor grammar or poor punctuation.

Kelsey I hope they get everything sorted out with your dress, I'd be in total panic mode.

Nshivers I totally don't miss those days, try taking some aleve as well to help ease the muscles.

My complaint is about one of the post offices where I live.  Who gives someone flag stamps for invitations and then won't change them?!  Normally I wouldn't care but dammit I want the pretty flower/tree ones for my invitations.  So now I will be making another trip to the post office today to buy more stmaps and that makes me cranky.

diamondx423

My left eye is really freaking hurting. Not sure how I'm going to make it through work today. I really don't do well with eye issues.

One I want to punch one of FIs friends. His invite got returned and he isn't giving us his new address. He's in the Air Force, so he more than likely can't come, but instead of saying "hey, don't bother resending it, I can't get leave" he's just ignoring the messages. Such a douchey move.

HarperBargo

I am super sleepy today. FI has a huge presentation today and has been up every night till at least 2:00am going through the data. Last night he was up till 4:00am. Not only does he wake me up when he comes to bed but the dogs go back and forth from our bedroom to the office where he is working which keeps me up or wakes me up.

Work has also been super busy. With me taking over 2 weeks off and my counter part taking 2 weeks off we have been rushing through experiments and data. I am hoping I can get through the next 16 days.

midgetthemighty

Kelsey, I you first of all. Well said. Secondly, I correct FI's grammar too and he's a journalist. He really hates it. And I'm sure they'll be able to fix your dress in plenty of time! You will be gorgeous!

Damn that PMS making us do all kinds of crazy things!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

peachykeen26

I do correct FI's grammar, but I try not to jump on here and be critical of others. I mean, I am annoyed by some people, oldies and newbies, and I have been around since like May or June of 2011, minor name change in Dec. But, I have come to know most of the ladies on here and when FB group was around I really felt like I had friends on here.
Now, I am kind of scared to post for fear of being made fun of, but I do it anyways.
But, I only post things that aren't person, like my hair trial and make up trial and things like that.

I think the bottom line is that most of us just don't care about how dramatic everyone else's lives are and we kind of get tired of reading drama after drama. It does get annoying, but here again its the interwebs, and you have the freedom to post whatever you want.
There are things that are acceptable and there are things that aren't. I don't think bullying in any form is acceptable.
I love all of you ladies, and don't want anyone to get hurt feelings.
JMHO.

diamondx423

Kelsey, 6 "love the North"? Fo realz?

Megbo2012

My vent is that people throw the "bully" word around like it's nobody's business.  It's becoming the new "card" and I cannot stand it. 

midgetthemighty

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_therapy-thursday-517?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:54bdfd47-5006-449c-87dd-8c4f32c6783aPost:384c8e97-f859-4b2f-a547-48c64aae5b8e">Re: Therapy Thursday 5/17</a>:
[QUOTE]My vent is that people throw the "bully" word around like it's nobody's business.  It's becoming the new "card" and I cannot stand it. 
Posted by Megbo2012[/QUOTE]

Yes. Bullying is serious. It's repeated attack, abuse and stalking of one particular person by one other particular person. Fixing grammar or spelling and not validating bad ideas is not bullying.

Megbo2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_therapy-thursday-517?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:54bdfd47-5006-449c-87dd-8c4f32c6783aPost:e9768d96-294e-4e03-8060-43b0170d3a01">Re: Therapy Thursday 5/17</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Therapy Thursday 5/17 : Yes. Bullying is serious. It's repeated attack, abuse and stalking of one particular person by one other particular person. Fixing grammar or spelling and not validating bad ideas is not bullying.
Posted by midgetthemighty[/QUOTE]

<div>Exactly.  Calling "Wolf" on every little thing not only belittles the term bullying, it belittles the situations of those who have actually been bullied. </div>

LiveLaughLove04

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_therapy-thursday-517?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:54bdfd47-5006-449c-87dd-8c4f32c6783aPost:384c8e97-f859-4b2f-a547-48c64aae5b8e">Re: Therapy Thursday 5/17</a>:
[QUOTE]My vent is that people throw the "bully" word around like it's nobody's business.  It's becoming the new "card" and I cannot stand it. 
Posted by Megbo2012[/QUOTE]
Yes and it bothers me to no end that it's used so arbitrarily because it is something so serious.

peachykeen26

Really? You're nit-picking me?
Hilarious.

Danidawn20

My Vent is my puupy keeps messing up my freshly made bed by throwing his ball around with his paws. Yes, I get you ca move your tenis balls with your paws, but you don't have to pick up the blankets with your teeth, roll the ball underthe balnket, drop the blanker and then proced to patt at the blanket until it moves. 

As for the Newbs and the Regualrs. I really feel that wedding stress is getting to s. I have been here for a long time, (Itihnk 2010) and yes, I don't have  lot of posts, but I'm okay with it. Honestly, I think we need to not make it a newbs verses regulars thing.

midgetthemighty

And you've been around for awhile Peachy. This proves that it's not newbs versus regs thing. Seriously though, bullying is not a term just to throw around.