How do I ask this....

Zimsgirl

A lady sent in her RSVP last week and added her 2 daughters. I didn't really want her there either but I should've been more firm with the guest list. I don't want the daughters there and want to be firm with adding guests. My mom said she doesn't think she'll come without her daughters but her mom is also invited so she'll know people. My mom offered to pay for their meals but it's not just money. So if my mom talks to them how could I politely word the daughters aren't invited?

Danidawn20

To be honest, I have no idea, sorrry I can't help you. 

precamies

I'd start with explaining this properly to your mom, make sure she understands it's not about the money. I'm slightly worried about one of my guests doing this, so in case that she does, I have prepared a line. It is basically apologizing for not being able to acommodate it because the space is limited. now, in all honesty I don't feel like it's something to apoloize about, but it always goes over way smoother if you don't place the guilt on them. reverse psychology almost

MrsAMS

Easy.  You're not invted.  lolol, jk

We had this issue with fi's OOT cousin.  We sent out Save the Dates 9mos in advance to make sure everyone knew when the wedding was/prepare/find a baby sitter.  She knew ABSOLUTELY NO KIDS.  How does she fill out the RSVP?  With the baby's name too.  NO. My MIL took care of it.

Then my cousin told my Mom she was coming with my little cousin instead of her husband.  NO again.  Now I don't think they're coming... If I have one kid, I have to have them all.  You just have to be firm and explain that they're not invited.

Danidawn20

Okay, thinking about this, I would explain to your mom why you don't want the daughters, and then see if your mom can explain to this lady that the daughters are not invited because of space limitations. 

littleluckypenny

Explain to the lady that the invitation was just for her, unfortunately you cannot accommodate her daughters.  Let your mom know it's not about the money, but you have the guest list at a certain number and don't want to add to that, regardless if others decline and you have space, a guest won't come without adding other guests, etc.

precamies

ah, thankfully I didn't really have to deal with the kids situation. we have two 12 year olds (FI's brother a cousin) who will be a flower girl and a ring kiddo. and the rest of the family/friends only have newborns. so we left it up to them whether they wanted to bring the babies since they don't take up a seat or eat desserts haha..

MoonlightSilver

Call up this lady. "Hi Mrs. Smith. How are you today? I'm doing well. I hate to bring this up, but I saw on your RSVP that you included your daughters. Unfortunately, we're only able to accomodate you at the wedding. We hope you can still come. Will you still be able to make it?" 

Megbo2012

What PP said. Also? Stick to your guns. Be ready for her to try and talk you into it, but don't let her.

Zimsgirl

Thanks everyone. I definitely wanted to call my mom would a good "line" to give her. I wish I were more firm with my guest list

Lambbop

We were super firm with our guest list. I typed the names of the invited guests on the envelope for the invitation and then wrote the number of seats reserved for each person/family. I know that might be kind of a jerk thing to do, but we can only seat 130 in the chapel (A church that's over 100 years old... it's a safety issue to overfill it).

Even so we've had a few people ask "well can I bring this person too" and once we explained that space was limited people understood. No one has really thrown a fit about it, and I think that if people love you and truly want to be there for you, they will accept the "no." If it's that big of deal if her daughters can't be there... then she can stay home and someone you really want there can come instead!

Zimsgirl

I meant wish I didn't invite some people. I lost the battle. My mom is sending a check to me to pay for their dinners. I didn't want that but I lost that one :

Melissa603

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_how-do-i-ask-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:5611d91b-f3e5-4a29-98fb-40e98a3f1d27Post:7c2ee1d0-4adf-4f20-83a6-3088a14b32e6">Re:How do I ask this....</a>:
[QUOTE]I meant wish I didn't invite some people. I lost the battle. My mom is sending a check to me to pay for their dinners. I didn't want that but I lost that one :
Posted by Zimsgirl[/QUOTE]

<div>I have that issue! My mother wanted to invite my grandmother's brother, who divorced my godmother to marry someone woman he met online. He typically doesn't come to any famiy functions, especially when he knows my godmother is there. My mother said invite him, he won't come. Guess who already booked his hotel room...merp...</div>