I've also posted this on the Etiquette board, but I figured I would see what you ladies thought since I spend most of my time here. See if you can wrap your heads around this one:
Our guest list in shaping up and is almost complete. FI and I are having one disagreement. He has an old friend of his who he wants to include. This friend has a significant other. They've been together for almost as long as FI and I (about 7 years). I made it clear to him that if we invite his friend, we *must* invite his girlfriend.
The issue comes in here because FI really dislikes his friend's gf. This is going to sound crazy, but she (legit) has also had a girlfriend for the last 4 yrs or so. On the side. Her boyfriend knows about it and puts up with it because he loves her. In my opinion, she obvs doesn't love him OR know what she wants in life.
FI really can't stand her for the above reason and others, to the point that he avoids going to their home when she's there. It's had an effect on his relationship with his friend. I know that their personal drama doesn't change the etiquette rules of inviting both people who are part of a social couple, and I have insisted to FI that if he wants his friend to come, she HAS to be invited as well. He is adamantly against this. I tried to remind him that it's not like we'll be sitting and hanging out with them the whole time (we're having about 65-70 guests total) and it's better to be pleasant with her for 5 seconds than to exclude her and deal with the wrath of that for (potentially) years to come.
Hopefully, this issue will resolve itself as FI's friend has been debating leaving her (.... maybe he's finally realized?) before the invites go out. I don't want to sound controlling of FI, but I've tried to make it clear that I will be making and addressing the invites, so her name will be included.
I want to make it clear that I am NOT considering NOT inviting this woman if her boyfriend will be invited. I just need advice on how to bring FI around to the idea so that one of his good friends will be able to join us at the wedding. Also, if this woman is in a 'side relationship' with another woman, are we obligated to invite that woman too???? I never even considered this til right now.......... I understand that if HE is invited, SHE needs to be as well. But when SHE is in another relationship on the side, does that person get an invite too?!? This is all just too weird. I know that it's different strokes for different folks, but this just sound like too much drama for me..
