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June 2012 Weddings

Changing your wedding ring?

So, I'm curious.

FI and I have been shopping around for wedding bands a little bit previously, and we're going shopping again tomorrow.  So far, the bands we've looked at for me that I loved are too pricy for us, so we have yet to actually choose one.  I've been doing some shopping online, and seen some more in our price range that I think I like, though.

FI has previously brought up the idea of getting a very simple, inexpensive band for the wedding, and upgrading in a year or two.  I'm really resistant to this idea, because symbolism is huge for me personally, and even if I do have to "settle" on an inexpensive band, I would HATE to just "get rid" of it in the future in favor of something "better."  There's something, to me, that's very special about the ring he is putting on my finger at the ceremony, even if it's not the band I've dreamed of.

So now I'm wondering:  What does everyone think about upgrading a wedding band?

Edited for spelling, wow.

Mrs. Abbe Peanut Butter || Planning Bio
June 2012 February Signature: Favorite picture of you & FI
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Re: Changing your wedding ring?

  • I'm with you--the sentimental aspect of the rings we exchange that day would be too powerful for me to ever change it.

    I've also thought about possibly getting the center stone in my engagement ring upgraded one day, but I don't know if I could do that either. It's so sentimental. If I do, I'd like to take the current diamond and turn it into a solitare necklace and give it to my oldest daughter (if I have one), but I'd also worry about her losing it!

    I am most likely "settling" on my wedding band. I'd love a half eternity with a certain carat weight, but that most likely won't happen. I'll get a half eternity, the diamonds will just be smaller than I'd like. When we were shopping for engagement rings I thought the one I ended up getting was too expensive and was going to pick something else, but FI wanted me to get exactly what I wanted. He's been more stringent on my wedding band budget, haha.
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  • I think FI would like to upgrade mine eventually but I wouldn't want to. I love it.

    He's already talked to me about anniversary rings though so I think that'll be his way of "upgrading".
    June 16, 2012
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  • Like you, the symbolism is far more important to me.  I have already altered my "wants" to better fit our budget, but I am completely in love with the style band I hope to get.  (It needs to be custom made and we have yet to visit a jeweler about it.)

    I voted "other" though.  I said this because I would not mind getting a new band, not necessarily upgrading, if we were to do a vow renewal way down the road.  Maybe our 25th anniversary.

    If I was in your shoes, I personally would not want a new band after a year or two.  But it's completely up to you and that is just my own personal thought on the matter.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_changing-wedding-band?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:72b804a3-1119-46ad-8afc-b6747254c1acPost:bfed8557-5c71-49e1-a7ca-24c90916f3b3">Re: Changing your wedding band?</a>:
    [QUOTE]When we were shopping for engagement rings I thought the one I ended up getting was too expensive and was going to pick something else, but<strong> FI wanted me to get exactly what I wanted. He's been more stringent on my wedding band budget, haha.</strong>
    Posted by courtneyclare103[/QUOTE]

    Mine, too!  I got my first choice engagement ring, but he's way more tight-budgeted for the wedding ring.  On the flip side of that though, since we're paying with the wedding we also have a much tighter budget in general, so it makes sense.

    That's a really sweet idea about the diamond, if you upgrade it.  I'd consider giving it to her for her wedding jewelry someday, or as a graduation gift - something when she's older and more responsible.  I've considered the possibility of giving my e-ring to one of our daughters (or sons!) someday in the far and distant future, but we'll see what comes about :)

    I am considering, if I do have to "settle" on the wedding band and FI insists on an upgrade of sorts, allowing it in the form of an anniversary ring - I'll keep wearing the original wedding band, but might sometimes wear the new ring with both of the other rings, or wear it on another finger sometimes.  We'll see though; I do believe FI's intentions are to definitely buy one tomorrow!
    Mrs. Abbe Peanut Butter || Planning Bio
    June 2012 February Signature: Favorite picture of you & FI
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_changing-wedding-band?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:72b804a3-1119-46ad-8afc-b6747254c1acPost:88497aa8-d033-4950-8fda-6cc288e6faf7">Re: Changing your wedding ring?</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>If I was in your shoes, I personally would not want a new band after a year or two.  But it's completely up to you and that is just my own personal thought on the matter.</strong>
    Posted by julbgordo[/QUOTE]

    Oh definitely!  My mind is 100% made up on the matter for myself, I was just curious what others on the board think/are planning to do.
    Mrs. Abbe Peanut Butter || Planning Bio
    June 2012 February Signature: Favorite picture of you & FI
  • I bought the rings I wanted. I wanted two, a diamond ring and a plain band, and I wanted to have them both for the ceremony. He'll be putting both rings on my finger because, to me, that's what will make them my wedding rings.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_changing-wedding-band?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:72b804a3-1119-46ad-8afc-b6747254c1acPost:ca9d3d7a-218d-489d-ad37-74e1638437a1">Re: Changing your wedding band?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Changing your wedding band? : Mine, too!  I got my first choice engagement ring, but he's way more tight-budgeted for the wedding ring.  On the flip side of that though, since we're paying with the wedding we also have a much tighter budget in general, so it makes sense. That's a really sweet idea about the diamond, if you upgrade it.  I'd consider giving it to her for her wedding jewelry someday, or as a graduation gift - something when she's older and more responsible.  I've considered the possibility of giving my e-ring to one of our daughters (or sons!) someday in the far and distant future, but we'll see what comes about :) I am considering, if I do have to "settle" on the wedding band and FI insists on an upgrade of sorts, allowing it in the form of an anniversary ring - I'll keep wearing the original wedding band, but might sometimes wear the new ring with both of the other rings, or wear it on another finger sometimes.  We'll see though; <strong>I do believe FI's intentions are to definitely buy one tomorrow!</strong>
    Posted by DrPB2b13[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>That's exciting!  Keep us posted <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" />

    </div>
  • I got the ring I wanted. However my parents are upgrading for their 30th this year mom is getting a full infinity band with big freaking stones and my dad is getting a gold band (he is old school) that fits him since he's gained some weight in the past 30 years :-)
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  • My situation is a little different.  I am keeping my wedding band and actually having it soldered to my e-ring because they have to line up perfectly.  Plus my wedding band isn't a straight band, it has a little dip to accomodate the center stone of my e-ring. I did, however, get a fake CZ wedding band from Lia Sophia as my work ring.  When I am bartending I don't like to wear super expensive jewelry and my e-ring is too expensive/valuable and the stone sits a little high to wear bartending.  I figured by doing this I am still showing that I am married even if it isn't with my actual wedding ring.  Last year I rarely wore my e-ring to work so I feel that this is at least acknowledging my marriage and my FI.
  • I chose "other" because I told FI that I would be fine with a cheap plain band now because of the cost of the wedding. Then later down the road he can buy me an anniversary band if he so desires. I would still wear the original band as well. So it wouldn't be a "replacement" or upgrade because the original band would be priceless in my eyes, but rather it would be an "addition".
    Photobucket
  • I quite frankly didn't have the money to purchase the wedding band I truly want now.  I'm very happy with my solid platinum band, but I'd like to upgrade to a channel diamond set band on our 10 year anniversary.  Who knows if that will happen, because my current band is part of our wedding, and I do treasure that.  So I'm marking "yes, but don't know", because that definitely describes what I feel now.
    Photobucket Anniversary
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_changing-wedding-band?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:72b804a3-1119-46ad-8afc-b6747254c1acPost:da335836-81c2-41a6-897c-5ab39b3300b0">Re: Changing your wedding ring?</a>:
    [QUOTE]My situation is a little different.  I am keeping my wedding band and actually having it soldered to my e-ring because they have to line up perfectly.  Plus my wedding band isn't a straight band, it has a little dip to accomodate the center stone of my e-ring. I did, however, get a <strong>fake CZ wedding band</strong> from Lia Sophia as my work ring.  <strong>When I am bartending I don't like to wear super expensive jewelry and my e-ring is too expensive/valuable and the stone sits a little high to wear bartending. </strong> I figured by doing this I am still showing that I am married even if it isn't with my actual wedding ring.  Last year I rarely wore my e-ring to work so I feel that this is at least acknowledging my marriage and my FI.
    Posted by Carebear62584[/QUOTE]

    That's a good call!  I worked with a girl whose mother's e-ring was a 4 carat diamond that was a family heirloom.  She worked as a waitress, and one shift her diamond fell out and got lost.  Luckily her boss at the time was amazing, and when her shift was over, her boss closed down the restaurant and helped her hunt for it.  They found it in, of all places, the ice bin!  I can't imagine how hard that was to find!
    Mrs. Abbe Peanut Butter || Planning Bio
    June 2012 February Signature: Favorite picture of you & FI
  • I feel the same way as you Abbe (hope I spelled that right). I did get the one I wanted, but even if I didn't I would not change it. That is what we make our promise to eachother with, so it means a lot to me.
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  • kipnuskipnus member
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    edited February 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_changing-wedding-band?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:72b804a3-1119-46ad-8afc-b6747254c1acPost:da335836-81c2-41a6-897c-5ab39b3300b0">Re: Changing your wedding ring?</a>:
    [QUOTE]My situation is a little different.  I am keeping my wedding band and actually having it soldered to my e-ring because they have to line up perfectly.  Plus my wedding band isn't a straight band, it has a little dip to accomodate the center stone of my e-ring. I did, however, get a fake CZ wedding band from Lia Sophia as my work ring.  When I am bartending I don't like to wear super expensive jewelry and my e-ring is too expensive/valuable and the stone sits a little high to wear bartending.  I figured by doing this I am still showing that I am married even if it isn't with my actual wedding ring.  Last year I rarely wore my e-ring to work so I feel that this is at least acknowledging my marriage and my FI.
    Posted by Carebear62584[/QUOTE]

    <div>I'm in a similar situation. My e-ring and wedding band came as a set and I'm thinking about getting them soldered together. I'd like to get a cheap tungsten band to wear for traveling--there are some places where I just wouldn't feel comfortable having a diamond on my finger.</div>
  • I should add, my sister is doing something a little different. She got a nice diamond in a simple setting for her e-ring, and is getting that same diamond put into a really nice setting for her wedding band. Then she'll use the plain e-ring band for traveling, etc.
  • FI will probably upgrade my set soon. I'm on my 3rd set so I'm totally ok with upgrading mine
  • My FI had my wedding band custom made when he had the engagement ring made. I have not seen my wedding band, and he doesn't want me to see it until the day we get married. The same goes for his ring. I went to the same jeweler and had his custom made too. I tried to match the three diamonds on my ring. His will have three diamonds in a diagonal pattern (just not as big as mine).
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_changing-wedding-band?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:72b804a3-1119-46ad-8afc-b6747254c1acPost:ca9d3d7a-218d-489d-ad37-74e1638437a1">Re: Changing your wedding band?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Changing your wedding band? :I am considering, if I do have to "settle" on the wedding band and FI insists on an upgrade of sorts, allowing it in the form of an anniversary ring - I'll keep wearing the original wedding band, but might sometimes wear the new ring with both of the other rings, or wear it on another finger sometimes.  We'll see though; I do believe FI's intentions are to definitely buy one tomorrow!
    Posted by DrPB2b13[/QUOTE]

    I totally agree with you on the sentimental aspect of your wedding ring. I wouldn't want to trade rings for a better one. I was going to suggest this ^^^ but you already thought of it. =) I think that would be a good compromise for him wanting to upgrade it, and you still being able to wear your real wedding ring.

    I don't think I am getting the ring I want most, but I am getting the ring that matches my e-ring, which is fine! Both are half eternity, but one just has larger stones. My e-ring has pavé diamonds halfway around the band, and has the same size stones as the one FI wants to get me, so it does go better with my e-ring (but I like the larger ring ;)). I think he plans to get me an anniversary ring, which will most likely be the same wedding band and I'll wear it on the outer side of my e-ring.
    image
  • I am not updating my band per say, but I am getting another band that matches my e-ring perfectly at 1 yr anniversary.
    My current band matches great and is my favorite piece of jewelry EVER- it's from Lebanon so NO ONE in the states will have it. But, FI wants me to have another band to choose from. :)

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_changing-wedding-band?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:72b804a3-1119-46ad-8afc-b6747254c1acPost:77c17bc7-d849-45e9-b5b4-b395ba7e8b70">Re: Changing your wedding ring?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Changing your wedding ring? : That's a good call!  I worked with a girl whose mother's e-ring was a 4 carat diamond that was a family heirloom.  She worked as a waitress, and one shift her diamond fell out and got lost.  Luckily her boss at the time was amazing, and when her shift was over, her boss closed down the restaurant and helped her hunt for it.  They found it in, of all places, the ice bin!  I can't imagine how hard that was to find!
    Posted by DrPB2b13[/QUOTE]

    That would be awful! I work at an outside bar at a resort/wedding venue where we wear shorts, polos and sneakers so we are running around a lot.  It's just not the type of atmosphere to wear jewelry like that.  I always tell people I'm engaged. My FI is actually the one that didn't want me wearing it for fear of losing it and because he wanted me to make more tips, haha.  I've actually lost a tanzanite ring a few years ago taking out the garbage at work so that's why the thought crosses my mind now. Luckily it wasn't too expensive.
  • I really don't like the idea of upgrading your band unless you keep your current one and get like stackable band to go in between or something like that. I am big on symbolism too.   I am currently not working and my FI did not like the idea of paying for his own ring so he said he is going to get an inexpensive one and wait until I can buy him one.  Than I remember I get my tax return money back way before we were going to get our rings!  I know this amount wil cover it because I am sure I am going to get at least 1k back yay!
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  • I'm like you, I value the whole sentimental part of it. 

    We looked for bands in person and I was also having problems finding an affordable band that I loved.  I did however find one at overstock.com for about 1/3 of the price that I saw on average in stores.  When the ring arrived it was perfect so I would suggest definitely looking into websites.
    image
  • I don't like the idea of upgrading either my engagement ring/diamond or my wedding band. With the time and effort and love that FI put into picking out my setting and diamond, I would never want to and I don't think FI would want me to. Same goes for my wedding band. Even though I haven't gotten it yet, I'm pretty sure I'll be lucky enough to get the band I want, but even if I don't, the point of the band is the meaning that's "bestowed" upon it on our wedding day.

    One day I might get an anniversary ring that's a slightly thicker eternity band than my wedding band and wear it by itself for times I don't feel like/can't wear my engagement ring (things with our kids - outdoor activities, etc).
  • Kfudge0714Kfudge0714 member
    500 Comments
    edited February 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_changing-wedding-band?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:72b804a3-1119-46ad-8afc-b6747254c1acPost:da335836-81c2-41a6-897c-5ab39b3300b0">Re: Changing your wedding ring?</a>:
    [QUOTE]My situation is a little different.  I am keeping my wedding band and actually having it soldered to my e-ring because they have to line up perfectly.  Plus my wedding band isn't a straight band, it has a little dip to accomodate the center stone of my e-ring.
    Posted by Carebear62584[/QUOTE]


    Same here! And I have two bands one for the top and one for the bottom of my e-ring! I got the rings I wanted because I could never change rings. I thought I lost my e-ring once and I was in absolute hysterics! FI said he'd get me another one and I was sobbing saying I don't another one!

    FIs BF got his wife a whole new set... I just don't see the point.. It's not the ring he asked you to be his wife with and it's not the ring he said I do with! Oh well just my honest opinion
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_changing-wedding-band?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:72b804a3-1119-46ad-8afc-b6747254c1acPost:bf6d8c3d-6235-41e1-aaa3-f88a44c0aaef">Re: Changing your wedding ring?</a>:
    [QUOTE]He'll be putting both rings on my finger because, to me, that's what will make them my wedding rings.
    Posted by BrooklynNovia[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>
    </div><div>THIS!! My e-ring came with two bands, so I don't have this problem. For my FI, my dad is MAKING his band (he owns a machine shop) and so that makes it soo special for us.

    </div>
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  • I am getting the band I want but would like to receive another band just like it in a couple years to go on the other side. So essentially I am getting the band I want and upgrading in a couple years because it's not in out budget to get 2 rings now.
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  • Abbe- today is ring shopping day!  how exciting!  I have always been super sentimental-and rings was no different.  But when FI proposed he knew that we couldn't afford the ring that he wanted to get me so he would like to get me that at some point down the road.  At first I was super against it because the ring I have now represents the fact that he didn't want to wait til we could "afford" to get engaged, he just wanted to be engaged.  But after a lot of thought, I wouldn't be totally against it some time later down the road.  I think it just depends on the couple.  Each person knows what their rings signify to them, but I don't think there's anything "wrong" with getting a different ring later-whether it's an "upgrade" or an addition.
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  • I don't really like the idea of upgrading. But my mom had a plain band and for their 20th wedding anniversity she added a hugger and it looks really good. Also another thought if you don't have a problem with preowned jewelry. We bought my ring at the jewelry store in my town that sells preowned jewelry and got my band that is white gold and has paved diamonds going about 1/2 of the way around it for about $250. Just a thought. 

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  • I think our wedding bands will be sentimental....but it is just a peice of jewelry. So.....if you want to go simple now and upgrade later I think it will still be special.....just keep the original! :)
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  • We ordered my ring last weekend.  The only thing I would think about is maybe adding another matching ring on top later.  I'm getting the ring I want now.   I didnt like the ones that were much thicker than 2mm wide so I really like the one I found.  Luckly that made it less expsensive.  o its not going to be a problem for a while.  I wouldnt want to stop wearing the original ones, maybe just add too it.
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