how to do the ceremony line up without hurting feelings?

hendricks8013

So I have to start thinking of the line up for the ceremony (who goes in first, who stands the closest to me, besides my MOH and what not). Let's be honest when you are in a wedding you do think about where you are positioned and why. I want my bridesmaids to avoid having that feeling and I have one sister-in-law who I know will discuss this with my soon to be mother-in-law and remark on the order and where she was in the line up. I know what groomsmen they are partnered with so I was thinking of taking a hat with their names in it, mixing it up and calling them for the line up that way.  Any other suggestions?

kelsey+brandon

I would do MOH, family, friends.
If you want to be totally PC about it, you could do MOH and then shortest to tallest.

chelseakopperud

If your worried about it, just leave it up to them.

kristin183

Honestly, that is really petty of her... but if you are that worried about it.. do it by height or alphabetically order and tell them that is what you did.

WEEZIE918

I didn't even know that you are supposed to line them up in order of closeness until my coordinator told me.  Maybe they won't know?

If they know about that "rule" and it's a concern, do what PP suggested:  height or alphabetical.

MiksChick23

Unless you have 50 people in your WP, being a BM is an honor. It shouldn't matter where you stand! I was in 2 weddings and stood at the end....so I guess I must be the least loved, right? NO! So stupid. If she is going to be petty about it, I'd put her on the end just on principle.

chelseakopperud

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_how-to-do-the-ceremony-line-up-without-hurting-feelings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:75032c20-e570-4fd6-86e3-9f912f875a77Post:67ed2df7-3871-4c24-80ad-4bd3f40ad702">Re: how to do the ceremony line up without hurting feelings?</a>:
[QUOTE]Unless you have 50 people in your WP, being a BM is an honor. It shouldn't matter where you stand! I was in 2 weddings and stood at the end....so I guess I must be the least loved, right? NO! So stupid. <strong>If she is going to be petty about it, I'd put her on the end just on principle.
</strong>Posted by MiksChick23[/QUOTE]

BAHAHAH!! Me too!

michellep1

I had this problem too, because I know some of my BMs will think about it. I ended up putting one of my closer BMs on the end because she's also the most confident and will have to walk in first at the ceremony/reception.  I explained it to her and she was totally fine with it. 

The one that I'm least close to is also the one that would have noticed most if she was on the end, so I didn't want to make her sad that day.  She isn't petty and would never say anything to me about it, she just has really low self-esteem.

Elizabeth80

This!

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_how-to-do-the-ceremony-line-up-without-hurting-feelings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:75032c20-e570-4fd6-86e3-9f912f875a77Post:67ed2df7-3871-4c24-80ad-4bd3f40ad702">Re: how to do the ceremony line up without hurting feelings?</a>:
[QUOTE]Unless you have 50 people in your WP, being <strong><u>a BM is an honor. It shouldn't matter where you stand!</u></strong> I was in 2 weddings and stood at the end....so I guess I must be the least loved, right? NO! So stupid. If she is going to be petty about it, I'd put her on the end just on principle.
Posted by MiksChick23[/QUOTE]

brittneyh4

I did mine by height, but now thinking about it, like Michelle, my first BM to go out is also the most confident.. the order they walk out is actually the order of high to low self esteem. Weird!

tgerl

we are doing it according to height in order to avoid any hurt feelings.

MMRoberts11

I was planning on doing order of closeness but I really like the confidence idea and will now use that.

kiki1978

I never knew you were supposed to do it in order of closeness to the bride. I'm having my nieces be my BM, so I think we'll just arrange them by height.

HarperBargo

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_how-to-do-the-ceremony-line-up-without-hurting-feelings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:75032c20-e570-4fd6-86e3-9f912f875a77Post:67ed2df7-3871-4c24-80ad-4bd3f40ad702">Re: how to do the ceremony line up without hurting feelings?</a>:
[QUOTE]Unless you have 50 people in your WP, being a BM is an honor. It shouldn't matter where you stand! I was in 2 weddings and stood at the end....so I guess I must be the least loved, right? NO! So stupid. If she is going to be petty about it, I'd put her on the end just on principle.
Posted by MiksChick23[/QUOTE]

Yup! I have been a BM 6 times and never thought once where I was standing. I saw being in the WP as an honor.

conger19

I have to be honest, I did line my girls up in the order of closeness and I only did this bc I know that is exactly how they did theirs. Somehow it worked out that they are in the position that I was in theirs so hopefully it will all work out good!

http://misstomrsandeverythinginbetween.blogspot.com/

littleluckypenny

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_how-to-do-the-ceremony-line-up-without-hurting-feelings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:75032c20-e570-4fd6-86e3-9f912f875a77Post:e9be89de-5100-4877-903e-ec12a3d25fcf">how to do the ceremony line up without hurting feelings?</a>:
[QUOTE]So I have to start thinking of the line up for the ceremony (who goes in first, who stands the closest to me, besides my MOH and what not).<strong> Let's be honest when you are in a wedding you do think about where you are positioned and why</strong>. I want my bridesmaids to avoid having that feeling and I have one sister-in-law who I know will discuss this with my soon to be mother-in-law and remark on the order and where she was in the line up. I know what groomsmen they are partnered with so I was thinking of taking a hat with their names in it, mixing it up and calling them for the line up that way.  Any other suggestions?
Posted by hendricks8013[/QUOTE]

I've never had that thought in my life.  Don't people line up by height?

caitlintaylor07

mine are definitely lined up by height.