Not sure what to do...

Zimsgirl

So I'm seriously considering backing out of this wedding FI and I are in in September. I know the bride doesn't want me in anymore by the way she's treating me. She says her phone doesn't get my texts and she won't respond to fb messages. I said I'd be home this weekend for my shower and we should get together. She never answered that message but posted a status so I know she's been on. I wish I could drop out now and her FI would be out of our wedding. FI doesn't really want him in either but feels its too late. Ugh

melntaitt

The lucky thing is that in this situation you're the BM and not the bride; I wouldn't want to stand up with someone who treated me badly anyway.

What's your relationship with her - cousin, sister, friend?

julbgordo

If she won't answer your texts, pick up your phone calls or respond on Facebook, I would try calling (don't text or Facebook message) and leave a message that explains everything - since odds are she won't answer the phone.  Say if you don't hear back from her, then you'll take it as a sign and bow out.  Puts the ball officially in her court.  It seems like she's being incredibly immature about it all.

MMRoberts11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_not-sure-what-to-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:7567b29b-6e8d-478e-94c2-86f20b52b111Post:35c97aef-4fd8-44fa-83f5-44f82c48dde2">Re: Not sure what to do...</a>:
[QUOTE]If she won't answer your texts, pick up your phone calls or respond on Facebook, I would try calling (don't text or Facebook message) and leave a message that explains everything - since odds are she won't answer the phone.  Say if you don't hear back from her, then you'll take it as a sign and bow out.  Puts the ball officially in her court.  It seems like she's being incredibly immature about it all.
Posted by julbgordo[/QUOTE]

<div>I agree with this.  Also, even if you do get out of her wedding, you cannot kick the guy out of yours; it's not tit-for-tat.</div>

midgetthemighty

I agree with Julie and Meagan 110%. Plus, I can update my FB status without getting on FB to check messages. My phone is a POS and even if I can look at FB messages on it, I cannot respond to them. Just something else to consider.

LiveLaughLove04

Ditto Meg, Jul and Midge completely in what they have said, especially the fact that weddings are not a tit-for-tat thing no matter what it's about.

chelseamb11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_not-sure-what-to-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:7567b29b-6e8d-478e-94c2-86f20b52b111Post:35c97aef-4fd8-44fa-83f5-44f82c48dde2">Re: Not sure what to do...</a>:
[QUOTE]If she won't answer your texts, pick up your phone calls or respond on Facebook, I would try calling (don't text or Facebook message) and leave a message that explains everything - since odds are she won't answer the phone.  Say if you don't hear back from her, then you'll take it as a sign and bow out.  Puts the ball officially in her court.  It seems like she's being incredibly immature about it all.
Posted by julbgordo[/QUOTE]

This exactly.

Zimsgirl

I've tried calling her before (not recently) but she never answers. She was a friend but I don't really consider her a friend anymore. FI and I do not want to go to this wedding and her FI isn't really being a friend to FI anymore. He regrets asking but he feels it's too late to do anything. I don't think it's too late because he hasn't put any money into this wedding and stopped being a good friend when he got engaged. He's pretty much blown off all of his friends including my FI. Ugh I hate this whole situation

MMRoberts11

If you really don't feel that comfortable being involved in their wedding then just call her and tell her both of you are out and end it.  IMO, this wedding has really been bothering you and I don't think its really worth all the frustration.  
If the guy doesn't step down from your wedding I'd just have that be the last thing you guys do together and then call it quits.  

Zimsgirl

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_not-sure-what-to-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:7567b29b-6e8d-478e-94c2-86f20b52b111Post:6b0f8c42-6f82-42ce-977b-b15606a9342c">Re: Not sure what to do...</a>:
[QUOTE]If you really don't feel that comfortable being involved in their wedding then just call her and tell her both of you are out and end it.  IMO, this wedding has really been bothering you and I don't think its really worth all the frustration.   If the guy doesn't step down from your wedding I'd just have that be the last thing you guys do together and then call it quits.  
Posted by MMRoberts11[/QUOTE]
I'm thinking so too. It's not worth driving the 3 hours to their wedding when we don't want to go and they're acting like this

SarahAlRamadhan

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_not-sure-what-to-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:7567b29b-6e8d-478e-94c2-86f20b52b111Post:11097ddf-c499-4d94-99ba-596d4680560c">Re: Not sure what to do...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Not sure what to do... : I agree with this.  Also, even if you do get out of her wedding, <strong><u>you cannot kick the guy out of yours; it's not tit-for-tat.
</u></strong>Posted by MMRoberts11[/QUOTE]

Agreed. It's a little late to be kicking people out now.

They could also be very busy with planning their own wedding. Planning mine has been very exhausting especially since my fiance and me have done most of the stuff on our with very little help.

Zimsgirl

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_not-sure-what-to-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:7567b29b-6e8d-478e-94c2-86f20b52b111Post:2914f28f-317f-4851-9bbd-efebae198907">Re: Not sure what to do...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Not sure what to do... : Agreed. It's a little late to be kicking people out now. They could also be very busy with planning their own wedding. Planning mine has been very exhausting especially since my fiance and me have done most of the stuff on our with very little help.
Posted by SarahAlRamadhan[/QUOTE]
We have too but we still keep up with our friends especially our WP. There's no excuse for how they're acting and they're committing like every etiquette no no with this wedding. I don't want any part of it

midgetthemighty

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_not-sure-what-to-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:7567b29b-6e8d-478e-94c2-86f20b52b111Post:90027746-659e-4991-8ed2-97630322e769">Re: Not sure what to do...</a>:
[QUOTE]I've tried calling her before (not recently) but she never answers. She was a friend but I don't really consider her a friend anymore. FI and I do not want to go to this wedding and her FI isn't really being a friend to FI anymore. He regrets asking but he feels it's too late to do anything. <strong>I don't think it's too late because he hasn't put any money into this wedding and stopped being a good friend when he got engaged.</strong> He's pretty much blown off all of his friends including my FI. Ugh I hate this whole situation
Posted by Zimsgirl[/QUOTE]

The VERY SECOND you ask someone to be in your WP, it's too late to kick them out. Sorry. I would still step down from theirs and call it a day. Maybe he'll so the same. Maybe he won't.

Zimsgirl

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_not-sure-what-to-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:7567b29b-6e8d-478e-94c2-86f20b52b111Post:44855efe-fbba-4af4-b7df-289db3bd3f42">Re: Not sure what to do...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Not sure what to do... : The VERY SECOND you ask someone to be in your WP, it's too late to kick them out. Sorry. I would still step down from theirs and call it a day. Maybe he'll so the same. Maybe he won't.
Posted by midgetthemighty[/QUOTE]
FI is going to talk to another GM. This GM also used to be friends with the guy we're talking about so he's just seeing what he'd do. We're definitely backing out of the wedding but FI would rather say we had a muster to go to. FI doesn't want anything big to come of this. I'd rather just be honest and be done with them.