wedding trip to MA, venue update (long)

TeamMoriarty

okay, so as i posted last week, our wedding trip to mass was jam packed and the 2 venues that were my favorite based on what i could find online turned out to be my 2 favorites (and FI's) in person as well.  we made a pro/con list for each venue and what it comes down to is that 1 place fits in with the first vision we had about our wedding (great gatsby kind of manicured gardens and amazing old architecture) and the other fits the 2nd vision we had (farm/orchard- naturally beautiful, laid back).  eventually we decided that for many reasons that the farm came out on top. 
BUT, here's where it gets tricky.  we also put together an estimated budget based on this trip's findings for the entire wedding to see about where we thought we'd end up. we were about $3,200 over our ceiling budget that we set for ourselves- not necessarily based on what what can afford, but on what we can justify spending on 1 day (and that's not including service or tax).  so we knew we needed to cut out about $5000 (to leave room for last minute things as well as tax and service fees). which we figured out how to do.
OK, still not too bad, but then we started talking on the 8 hour drive home from seattle to montana about what if we took my parents up on the offer to have the wedding in washington at the beautiful old chapel on the water down the street from my parents' house and a reception at their house and they would give us what they would have given us to pay for the wedding as a gift (basically a future down payment on a house).  so now we are seriously considering having the wedding and reception in washington instead of massachusetts.  i know that it is still a long ways away and plenty of time, but i feel like i would be starting at sq. 1 for researching, etc.

we have said from day one of being engaged that we wanted our wedding to about the people, but it also needs to be about us.  we could have a beautiful wedding there, both of us being more involved in the planning and DIY stuff since we are closer to there, and have money to start our lives AFTER the wedding.  i mean, the wedding is one day and the marriage is the rest of our lives, but i am still kind of spinning at the possibility of such a big change in plans. we asekd ourselves on the car trip if this was an exciting possibilty or just a way to save $ ( we both have a hard time swallowing what people spend on 1 day!), and we both decided that it was exciting, but gives us a LOT to think about, and quickly!

*not necessarily asking for advice, just an update, but your thoughts are welcome- otherwise i wouldn't have posted.
edited for clarity and length (believe it or not)

michellep1

Maybe I missed this in a previous post, but what were your reasons for having the wedding in MA?  I think the Washington idea is a great option!  I love weddings on the water and I think its a really smart idea to have that money for a downpayment on a house.

As far as the researching goes, do you already have other vendors booked in MA for your date?  Perhaps because its so far away still you may be able to get your deposit back (plenty of time for them to fill the date)?

DrPB2b13

That would be a huge change in plans, but also definitely sounds like a major money saver.  I think it all boils down to you, though - are you going to be just as happy with the wedding in Washington as you are in Boston?  Will it fit your vision enough, or are you going to be okay changing what your vision is?  Will your most important guests be able to get there just as easily?

All that said....I'm mildly rooting for Boston for you, but mostly because I think it would be awesome if we could arrange a Boston GTG.  But in all seriousness, in your shoes I would evaluate my vision and how comfortable I'd be changing it.

midgetthemighty

Sounds like another pro/con list is in order for Washington vs. Boston. Seeing things down on paper is always helpful for my thoughts and it sounds like it works for you too.

PPs gave great advice.

sprtychick10

I agree with all the PP's. Make a Pro/Con list, talk with your parents some more and look at what is most important for your FI and you. You want your day to be as special as it can be for you two.

sprtychick10

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_wedding-trip-ma-venue-update-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:79c64997-8237-4565-98e9-6ed38afbb6f7Post:15088802-500b-4655-851a-6f8d9ba8b10d">Re: wedding trip to MA, venue update (long)</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Maybe I missed this in a previous post, but what were your reasons for having the wedding in MA?</strong>  
Posted by michellep1[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I was wondering this too

</div>

julbgordo

You do still have time, but Boston is also a population center that I'm sure books up for June weddings pretty quickly.  I personally wouldn't drag my feet on this too long.  Definitely talk it over more.  Both options sound great and I'm sure your wedding will be beautiful no matter where you decide to have it.  But I'd recommend making the decision while there is still one to be made - a.k.a. before one or more of your potential venues books up.

jenn&chad

I agree about your money-spent-for-1-day rationale.  You just have to be sure that you'll be equally happy with the WA wedding option.  You don't want to do it to save money and then be missing your farm-style wedding vision.  The WA ceremony by the water sounds pretty too though.  You might try taking money out of the equation completely and just think about which option you LIKE better. 

TeamMoriarty

the original reason for having the wedding in MA was because FI is from there, his family lives there and we have many guests from the New England/New York area (i went to college in NY).  we also want to move out there at some point and just wanted to have the wedding there.
i think another pro/con list IS in order, thanks for the suggestion.
@julie- you are right, we don't have that much time.  i start rehearsals for my summer acting contact june 6 and we need to know by then.  luckily the venues we fell in love with in MA are holding the date for a few weeks for us until we get all the info from them and can make decisions, but time is ticking away.
thanks for all the feedback ladies!

Sarah0335

It is very hard to justify the money for something that will be over in a day.  Boston is amazing though!  I have lived in the area my whole life, so I am a little biased.

June weddings in Boston book FAST!  I would decide either way ASAP because you really need to have your venue, photographer and DJ booked a year in advance. 

I also agree on the Boston GTG!  You can add that to your pro side when you start making your lists (JK)