June 2012 Weddings

High decline rate :(

I expected a higher than average decline rate because I live in NY and my family lives in FL and NC, but dang!  Almost no one is coming!

When the dust settles (Wednesday), I'm looking at a 50% acceptance rate for the wedding.  Some people I didn't think would come did, and some who I thought wouldn't miss it for the world are not coming.

Of the 186 invited, I'm looking at less than 30 people from my side of the list (which was about 90 people) that can make it.

Well, at the beginning, I said to FI as long as my dad can make it, and hopefully my grandmother, I am happy.  Both of them are coming, so I got my wish, I guess....

Re: High decline rate :(

  • hmm, you know, I imagine people have more trouble making this kind of trips at the moment. I think that if your dad and your grandmother were your main wishes and they are coming, that is what you should focus on :) I'm sure the guests mean no harm, it's just hard for many people right now.
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  • MiksChick23MiksChick23 member
    100 Comments
    edited May 2012
    I also expect a bunch of declines since most guests will need to travel and pay for over-night accomodations. Don't take it personally, its super expensive with gas prices and the economy. Think about the people who ARE coming and see the glass half full - you'll probably come in under budget!
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  • I know your sad. I was expecting a high decline rate since most of my guests need to travel and book hotels and all...I'm at a low decline rate, where all the declines are on my side.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_high-decline-rate?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:7b3a525f-cd35-4f94-87fe-ad58b273613dPost:ef7a69e3-7299-4184-9ae9-74385d55f17b">Re: High decline rate :(</a>:
    [QUOTE]I also expect a bunch of declines since most guests will need to travel and pay for over-night accomodations. <strong>Don't take it personally, its super expensive with gas prices and the economy. Think about the people who ARE coming and see the glass half full - you'll probably come in under budget!
    </strong>Posted by MiksChick23[/QUOTE]

    I agree with this. Try and focus on the positive side
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  • Honey, I'm really sorry. I know it's really disappointing when the people we love and value can't make it for the big moments in our lives.

    The glass half full concept is the best advice; G-ma and Dad are going to make it and they are the key players so that wish is coming true. Regardless of who is there you're going to have an amazing day with a brand, spanking new husband to show for it.

    Keep us posted on how it goes...
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  • First off, bummer.  Sadly, I think the economy has a lot to play into this with prices of things being expensive and many losing their jobs or being short in hours. 

    On a better note, at least the people who will be there will be really excited for it.
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  • The same thing happened to me! Our wedding is in Boston, and about 95% of the people would be coming from out of town. We invited 300, and 153 accepted - so still a decent size, but i expected about 200-220. But honestly, everyone that I really want to be there - close friends and family, are all going to be there, and thats what matters! It will be an amazing day no matter what!
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  • I would be happy with this, FI and I wanted a smaller wedding and ended up the opposite, but when parents are paying they get there way with the guest list, anyways, FI and I get excited with every decline we get. I am sorry though that this upsets you! :( I also will have like 20-30 people from my family, but the majority of my family is still in England, etc. and Fi is Italian... but it is what it is, they are all there to celebrate your special day, and remember his family will officially be yours as well!

    image 220 Are ready to party!
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  • A lot of peole have declined too. I think it has to do something with the cost of flights and hotel rooms. However, the ones that we would want there no matter what are coming and we are happy about that.

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  • First of all ((HUGS)) and I'm so sorry girlie! Have you already called those who may have forgotten to respond? Either way it will be a wonderful day. Don't let the numbers get you down or those that you thought for sure would come. I have the hubby of who I thought was a best gf missing our wedding for a t ball game. But whatever, bottom line is focus on what matters and don't let the other things or people get you down.

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  • That sucks. People have a plethora of reasons why they can't come. I had to take a very important test only offered a few times a year on my cousin's wedding this weekend. I wanted to be there very badly but I couldn't. She understood. While it's sad, these people will still be a part of your life post wedding. I also agree with the others. Just focus on the people that can come.
  • I understand your dissapointment.  Less than half our guests are coming.  Some people who rsvp yes over the phone are now sending in the card with a no.  I'm having a destination wedding so just about everyone has to pay for flight and hotel.  As long as our parents and siblings are there everyone else is just icing on the cake!
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  • I'm so sorry!  I understand how much it hurts for your family to not come to your wedding.  I have a similar situation...only my parents and my sister will be coming to my wedding.  And it's not because of health or money that the rest of my family isn't coming.  I suppose the days are gone where families all came together for wedding and funerals...

    Just try to focus on the fact that on your wedding day you'll be surrounded by people who love and support you, regardless of the number.   
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  • I'm sorry I can understand your disappointment. I have a high acceptance rate but most are from FI side. My family and friends are having to do the travel and hotel stuff too since its OOT in my FI's town. I have the most important people coming too and I try to focus on that. Again focusing on the most important things in the best thing to do. It will be wonderful!
  • Thanks everyone.

    I hope I didn't come off like a brat.  I truly am grateful for those who can make it to the wedding.  Guess it was just a sad vent; I'm not mad at my family, just felt a little blue.

    But, like I said earlier, my dad is definitely walking me down the aisle, and my grandmother is making the trip.  I couldn't ask for more :)  Well, besides being married that afternoon! haha

  • We had a higher decline rate than we expected and it was mostly family on FI's side that declined. Sorry you had such a high decline rate, just focus on the important people who ARE coming
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    Alice in Wonderland Planning Bio

    image 83 Invited
    image 47 Attending
    image 5 Declined
    image 31 Unknown
    RSVP Date: May 2, 2012
  • edited May 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_high-decline-rate?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:7b3a525f-cd35-4f94-87fe-ad58b273613dPost:775333e9-5d8a-460b-a115-77149fe05998">High decline rate :(</a>:
    [QUOTE]I expected a higher than average decline rate because I live in NY and my family lives in FL and NC, but dang!  Almost no one is coming! When the dust settles (Wednesday), I'm looking at a 50% acceptance rate for the wedding.  Some people I didn't think would come did, and some who I thought wouldn't miss it for the world are not coming. Of the 186 invited, I'm looking at less than 30 people from my side of the list (which was about 90 people) that can make it. Well, at the beginning, I said to FI as long as my dad can make it, and hopefully my grandmother, I am happy.  Both of them are coming, so I got my wish, I guess....
    Posted by littleluckypenny[/QUOTE]

    <div>I'm going through the exact same thing. It's pretty depressing <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-frown.gif" border="0" alt="Frown" title="Frown" /></div><div>
    </div><div>We're expecting 85 people in all. We invited around 220. FI has a HUGE family but only his parents, brother, and sister are coming. His grandparents are not coming and neither are his favorite aunts and uncles.</div><div>Most of my family isn't coming. Family I haven't seen in years. I really thought we would get a better turn out even though we're getting married in San Diego. Our family is from many different states and we had to pick a location to get married that wouldn't favor one side over the other. </div><div>I keep telling myself it will be fun no matter what, it's our day, etc etc but it still hurts.</div><div>
    </div><div>ETA: Our reception contract was for a guaranteed 150 people so even though 70 less people are coming we still have to spend about 24K on the hotel. Sucks...</div>
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  • I'm sorry you are going through this!  But if you focus on the great people who are showing up for you and the fact that you will be marrying your FI that day, it will be perfect no matter what.  And coming in under budget never hurt anyone :)
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_high-decline-rate?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:7b3a525f-cd35-4f94-87fe-ad58b273613dPost:18ca8823-5f00-428e-bcdc-229ddad86d91">Re: High decline rate :(</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm sorry you are going through this!  But if you focus on the great people who are showing up for you and the fact that you will be marrying your FI that day, it will be perfect no matter what.  And coming in under budget never hurt anyone :)
    Posted by ryaneann[/QUOTE]

    <font color="#008080">I agree with this.

    Honestly I thought everyone could make it, I only invited 130 people (10 more than I even wanted) and they are all people I know and talk to regularly. I'm down to 111. Sad they aren't coming but saving some $ doesn't hurt either.</font>
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