Who pays for?

kristin183

So my FMIL is insisting they are going to be paying for all the groomsmen attire. I was under the impression that the bridal party (Bridesmaids and Groomsmen) purchased or rented their own attire. It seems silly to me she is offering to pay for this. When I look on the "who pays for what" info that is not included.

Thoughts?

midgetthemighty

People pay for whatever they offer to pay for. While I find it odd that she wants to pay for something the GM normally pay for themselves, you can't really tell her where to spend her money.

Now, if she tries to control it, then you can politely decline her money and have them pay themselves.

Zimsgirl

Agree with Midge. FILs have yet to tell me they're paying for the RD but have told FI so making sure we still have that budgeted for.

kristin183

To be honest I hadn't planned on them paying for anything.
Both are families have offered to help but FI is really against them paying for anything. I understand she wants to help; but the groomsmen attire seems weird to me.

Zimsgirl

Maybe you could tell her the guys have already agreed to pay? Since they expected to anyways

melfacto

We have offered to pay for our BPs attire, however, the cost of our wedding is being covered by our over generous parents - we also have 11 weddings amongst our friends alone this year and many of our BP (FI and I included) are in numerous WPs this year... so we understand it gets expensive being in many WPs, if she would like to treat the men to there attire, let her, why not!

chelseakopperud

I think its weird that she is offering to pay for that.... but at the same time that is going to be so nice for your GM! I agree with PPs that if she tried to tell you waht they shoudl wear you can kindly decline, but otherwise I dont see why she *cant* pay for it.

Ash61612

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_pays?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:80876125-eef5-47d8-912c-b8e90e26a3e1Post:2c67ec6f-0e20-4ec2-9a00-4224358bcd41">Re: Who pays for?</a>:
[QUOTE]People pay for whatever they offer to pay for. While I find it odd that she wants to pay for something the GM normally pay for themselves, you can't really tell her where to spend her money. Now, if she tries to control it, then you can politely decline her money and have them pay themselves.
Posted by midgetthemighty[/QUOTE]
agree

CvilleClaire

I bought the bridesmaid dresses and FI's father is paying for the tux rentals.  It's not tradition, but it's a nice thing to do.  If someone wants to help, let them help! 

kristin183

Well I think I feel almost bad having her pay for them because we are getting kilts and they are more expensive than Tuxes. I sent her an email back stating the price and etc. I also told her I knew they were a little on the expensive side (even though they are the cheapest kilt rentals we could find) and not to feel obligated to pay for them because of they were so expensive.

Zimsgirl

I think that's a good way to handle it

MMRoberts11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_pays?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:80876125-eef5-47d8-912c-b8e90e26a3e1Post:2c67ec6f-0e20-4ec2-9a00-4224358bcd41">Re: Who pays for?</a>:
[QUOTE]People pay for whatever they offer to pay for. While I find it odd that she wants to pay for something the GM normally pay for themselves, you can't really tell her where to spend her money. Now, if she tries to control it, then you can politely decline her money and have them pay themselves.
Posted by midgetthemighty[/QUOTE]

Agreed.

RKPugs

I bought all of my girls their dresses and FMIL offered to buy all the guys their outfits and gifts. She's been very generous!

goodine11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_pays?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:80876125-eef5-47d8-912c-b8e90e26a3e1Post:2c67ec6f-0e20-4ec2-9a00-4224358bcd41">Re: Who pays for?</a>:
[QUOTE]People pay for whatever they offer to pay for. While I find it odd that she wants to pay for something the GM normally pay for themselves, you can't really tell her where to spend her money. Now, if she tries to control it, then you can politely decline her money and have them pay themselves.
Posted by midgetthemighty[/QUOTE]

DITTO

kipnus

Are the BMs paying for their own dresses? I'd be annoyed if I had to pay for my own attire and the guys didn't...

kristin183

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_pays?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:80876125-eef5-47d8-912c-b8e90e26a3e1Post:25df8a7b-f32e-4d56-b0aa-dbaad55c15a2">Re: Who pays for?</a>:
[QUOTE]Are the BMs paying for their own dresses? I'd be annoyed if I had to pay for my own attire and the guys didn't...
Posted by kipnus[/QUOTE]

No, and we can't really afford to offer to pay for the bridesmaids. I am paying for my little sisters dresses but that is it. I have been in a lot of weddings as a BM and always paid for my own dress and the groomsmen paid for their tuxes. FI says he has never dished out the money to have a tux in any of the weddings he was in. I think she thinks we are paying for them and wants to help us with this expense.

nicole425

I agree with a pp that if she tries to control then just politely decline the gesture. Although, maybe she could help pay something else instead because I also agree with another pp that there may be some butt hurt bridesmaids. I'd just be thankful that IL's are helping. My FI parents are divorced have been for numerous years and are both remarried and neither have offered to help with anything. My Mom and step dad have stepped up and offered to pay rehearsal dinner because I otherwise wasn't having one.