June 2012 Weddings

Need to vent before my head explodes (long, sorry)

AHHHH!  Sometimes I just want to strangle my family, or trade them in for a new set!

Besides texting me all the time with questions they can easily answer themselves if they even bothered to go to my wedding website (which has every possible question answered) OR use mapquest or google at look at a map.  Or a travel site like expedia or something and look up plane tickets.  No, they want me to do that.  So aggravating.

RSVPs went out on April 2.  It's May 7.  I know they have more time, but not A SINGLE FAMILY MEMBER has responded.  I know I'll end up calling them after the deadline, because they're all a bunch of procrastinators. 

My sister called about the rehearsal dinner, so I asked her if she was going to make it to the wedding after all.  She said she still doesn't know.  I feel more like a mom than a sister with her because I always have to do things for her.  She's 28!  Do something for yourself for once!  The "I don't know yet" code really means "can you help me pay my ticket".  As much as I said to myself I wouldn't do that for the past year, I finally had to cave and pay half, because I know for a fact my guilt would eat me alive if I didn't. 

Then mom calls and wants me to pick her and my grandmother up from the airport, which is an hour one-way.  I have so many things to do that day (Thursday before the wedding on Saturday), and now I have to make TWO trips that way because I already had plans later that day to go to the final tux fitting with my dad.  My grandmother didn't want to travel with the majority of people who are arriving that night because she wanted to fly during the day, which now means they have no transportation when they arrive (everyone arrives later and will rent cars then) so I have to get them.

I asked another sister to be a bridesmaid in November.  I asked my sisters before anyone else because I know they would need more time. My one sister (the one who wanted money) declined because of money, and the other sister said yes. This was November. She still hasn't gotten her dress. It's May 7.  She just called 5 minutes ago wanting to go to get her dress. At this point I just want to tell her nevermind, but I won't. If she can find the dress within the parameters (length, fabric, color) she can walk. If not, she'll be a guest. 

I asked my aunt to do a reading for the ceremony in December.  She said yes, and I gave her a list of passages she can choose from over a month ago.  She still hasn't decided, even though I told her I need her choice so I can give my other reader the remaining options! She's holding up my programs!

And two cousins, who I truly wanted to be there, declined the RSVP and can't make it  :(

Needed to vent.

Re: Need to vent before my head explodes (long, sorry)

  • :( families can sometimes be more stressful then the wedding planning itself. i have had my fair share of family drama throughout my engagement and with a month away i'm sure there is plenty of more time for some more drama. i have had to bute my tongue plenty of times throughout my engagement to various family members. Just breathe and think next month it will all be over. just remember the wedding is only a day, the marriage is a lifetime. don't let one day ruin family dynamics. you can only do so much. they are adults, let them take care of their own responsibilities.

    good luck!
  • (((hugs)))

    It's going to be ok....

    I completely understand because they dilly, they dally and make it even more stressful for all of us. Is there any way someone can help you with the airport runs? I'm running into this issue myself because the first wave is coming in from Barbados on 5-26 at 12 am. The second wave on 6-2 at 12 am, the third wave on 6-3 at 12 am and the last wave on 6-5 at 9 pm. Trust me, I feel your frustration.

    Is there still enough time for your sister to get the dress you like? If there isn't, then I would online shop over the phone with her, find something then run and buy.

    I recommend wine - lots and lots and lots of wine. I also recommend spending some time looking forward to your shower on Saturday! That's going to be a great day and something you totally deserve. I finally recommend we come up with a plan to set our families asail over the high seas - we love em but, geez.

    Vacation White Knot
  • edited May 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_need-to-vent-before-my-head-explodes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:8ea3a0c1-866a-4872-b87c-e55114b69e85Post:f9d66ffd-b719-4825-ac24-fb443b0c2908">Re: Need to vent before my head explodes (long, sorry)</a>:
    [QUOTE](((hugs))) It's going to be ok.... I completely understand because they dilly, they dally and make it even more stressful for all of us. Is there any way someone can help you with the airport runs? I'm running into this issue myself because the first wave is coming in from Barbados on 5-26 at 12 am. The second wave on 6-2 at 12 am, the third wave on 6-3 at 12 am and the last wave on 6-5 at 9 pm. Trust me, I feel your frustration. Is there still enough time for your sister to get the dress you like? If there isn't, then I would online shop over the phone with her, find something then run and buy. I recommend wine - lots and lots and lots of wine. I also recommend spending some time looking forward to your shower on Saturday! That's going to be a great day and something you totally deserve. I finally recommend we come up with a plan to set our families asail over the high seas - we love em but, geez.
    Posted by melntaitt[/QUOTE]

    Love, LOVE the idea of wine lol.  I'm just upset because I made all the information available to them. If you choose not to use it, don't.  But if you choose to do something, don't wait until the <em>last minute</em> and then ask for my help.  It aggravates me to no end.

    I'm only making the airport run because it's my grandma.  I told everyone else to rent a car because I refuse to make 2 hour drives in the final days of wedding preparation and other errands.  Honestly, if it was my mom, I probably would have said no and make her wait (well, in my head anyway, don't know if I could actually do it).  I wanted to meet my dad at the airport because from there we are heading straight to the tux place so he can pick his up, along with the other groomsman and FI. 

    And I guess I'm a little peeved because I asked them all for music and didn't get any responses.  The list is due today.  Well then, don't tell me my DJ sucks because you didn't provide him with the type of music you wanted in the first place.

    I'll be stopping by the liquor store after my DJ meeting ;)
  • I don't get the list of music from other people. FI and I just figured out our list today and we didn't get any input from anyone. We did music we like (which is a wide variety, it touches a lot of genres).

    As for your family expecting you to go above and beyond about finding airfare etc, I would just say "the information is {here}", and that's it. They keep bugging you and guilting you into doing things to manipulate you.. and you let them. It's not bridezilla-ish of you to expect them to handle their own transportation details, especially if you've given them your recommendations.

    About people waiting til the last minute, I finally told people I needed specifics from I need it by X date, if I don't have it, I assume they cannot do xyz they offered and move on. Not in a rude way, just a "get down to business" sort of way - you have to wrap up the hundreds of little details.

    Sorry that you're dealing with so much craziness. Weddings bring out the crazy in people, that's for sure. I've definitely got my fair share, but I've decided for my own sanity to put up boundaries. I'd rather do it all myself than stress over 385745 opinions. :)

    image
  • I understand too, That sounds so very stressful. My family is the same, I just had to inform my mother that she is expected to be at the RD?! Really are you kidding me? Then I get a ton of complaints on the cost of hotel rooms since we are having an OOTW. Sorry I do understand!!!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_need-to-vent-before-my-head-explodes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:8ea3a0c1-866a-4872-b87c-e55114b69e85Post:cad569bb-761f-45ea-b5b5-38ddcd2d9816">Re: Need to vent before my head explodes (long, sorry)</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't get the list of music from other people. FI and I just figured out our list today and we didn't get any input from anyone. We did music we like (which is a wide variety, it touches a lot of genres).
    Posted by brittneyh4[/QUOTE]

    The music stems from my family is Caribbean, so our musical tastes and artists are pretty obscure to people who are not from the Caribbean.  The DJ wouldn't know any of these artists/songs unless I give him a list.  Does that make sense?
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