BM dress issues. About to do something irrational......

doeie04

So, I get a text from one of my BMs saying that thanks to me the shop ordered her dress the wrong size. And that I am paying for it, not her.

Earlier today:
My brother's girlfriend wanted to look at used formal dresses at the same shop my BMs were ordering their dresses. (We were at lunch right next door, so we popped in.)

While I was there, I figured I would double check to make sure the dresses were ordered like I was told they had to be on the 5th. (I went in to pay the deposit for my sisters dress and order it, since she lives in Italy and they hadn't even written down one BMs dress number and size, and she had paid in full!!!!) They were not. One of my BMs didn't have a deposit written down and a size. This BMs sister works at the shop. The owner called my BMs sister to ask what was up. She said she would call BM. The shop owner was still on the phone with Bms sister and told me that the dresses would be in two months early if we ordered them on the 13th. I said that was fine and left.

So, now the shop owner said that I "demanded" that the dresses be ordered. I have no clue where they got her measurements and her size. They weren't written down on my order sheet. Apparently they are telling BM that the shop owner and an associate and BMs sister said I demanded they be ordered.

I am super pissed because BM is accusing me of demanding that they be ordered without her deposit and size okayed by her. She said that I am being a bridezilla (which I am completely not, if you know me!) and I have to pay for the wrong dress.

There are many things wrong with this. 1) The dresses should have been ordered by the 5th, no matter if all the girls ordered or not, since there was a discount. All my girls knew the date and knew what would happen if they didn't order in time. (no discount) 2) BM states that they have to do what the bride says, and my workd overrode hers and they ordered them. Why would they claim my word is better than the BMs, WHO ARE PAYING FOR THE DRESSES? I should have no say in when they are ordered, I am not paying! 3) Why would they order dresses without a deposit, regardless of knowing the BM? That is dumb.

I am so upset right now, I am ready to order the dresses from the other shop in town and pay the money the girls are out. I am also ready to say goodbye to the effing BM that is causing all this crap. She is one of those friends that you wonder why you are still friends.... She does nothing but take, and I have been really close to ending this shiit with her for many years. I am so mad I want to cry. I can't get my good friend on the phone since it is so late, and I am ready to scream. Help!

sweetcanadian1979

Awww hun that sucks. I really have no advice for you. The bm dress ordered without a deposit does NOT have to pay for it in the wrong size, also i am positive that if this was done today that it is an easy fix. The dress hasn't been made, phone the shop & speak to the manager tomorrow.

doeie04

Thanks Sweetcanadian!

Updates:
Chad and I talked last night and we both decided we really don't need to be her friend anymore. I am completely insulted by the way she treated me (much was said over text, I tried to call her but she wouldn't answer, that I didn't include in here.) and when it comes down to it, it isn't about the dress. I will be returning the money she paid for her deposit, and I am done with her. I am feeling really good about it this morning. It is kind of like a weight has been lifted.

I am going to the dress shop today after work (2pm) to sort it out. I am going to be nice and speak with the owner that I delt with yesterday about the confusion. We will go from there. Depending on how she treats the situation, it could go two ways. She is nice about it and accepts her mistake, and I have my girls pay the rest of the $ for their dresses and all is good. She can be a biitch and blame it on me and I will let my girls know I will be paying them back for the money they put down on their dresses and we will go somewhere else. It will be worth the $270 I would be out.

I am worried that two things could happen to the dress order.

1) The shop will send me to collections over the dress they ordered wrong. Chad and I agreed that we will not pay the $132 for this dress. If she sends me to collections over it, we will take her to court. (When ex BM got married, one of her BMs didn't fully pay for her dress and still hasn't. They were going to send her to collections over $60. Even though they shouldn't have let her take the dress without fully paying for it, that isn't the point.)

2) The dresses will "mysteriously" come in ordered wrong. Knowing her sister who works there, and how they have handled crap so far, I don't put it past them. In this case, my girls will not pay the remainder on their dresses, I will pay them what they are out and they can get black dresses of their choice.

Does anyone know the law on sending people to collections?

chelseamb11

I don't know the law, but honestly, when you go into the shop, if you reorder the dresses from them, get a copy of the receipt of the sizes you are ordering.  That wa if they come in wrong, it is on them and if they try to take you to court, you can show them the receipt you received.

I think you did the right thing in dropping the bridesmaid.  If she believes the shop over you, she isn't that good of a friend anyway.

If they take you to court over the first dress, honestly I don't know the whole situation. But if YOU did not give them a size, then it is completely on them.  When I ordered my BM dresses, I had to sign a receipt that showed the sizes I was ordering.  If they ddin't have you sign anything, there is no way they can prove that you gave them the size that you did.

Good luck!

doeie04

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_bm-dress-issues-about-to-do-something-irrational?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:93b15f93-0a13-4975-a065-0cb2f118356ePost:cec5c3fe-e84e-433a-b773-424c1e4a27f2">Re: BM dress issues. About to do something irrational......</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't know the law, but honestly, when you go into the shop, if you reorder the dresses from them, <strong>get a copy of the receipt of the sizes you are ordering.</strong>  That wa if they come in wrong, it is on them and if they try to take you to court, you can show them the receipt you received. I think you did the right thing in dropping the bridesmaid.  If she believes the shop over you, she isn't that good of a friend anyway. If they take you to court over the first dress, honestly I don't know the whole situation. But if YOU did not give them a size, then it is completely on them.  When I ordered my BM dresses, I had to sign a receipt that showed the sizes I was ordering.  If they ddin't have you sign anything, there is no way they can prove that you gave them the size that you did. Good luck!
Posted by chelseamb11[/QUOTE]

I plan on getting a copy of my order sheet. I didn't pay for any of the dresses except my sisters, since she is in Italy. They didn't have me sign anything except my CC receipt. LIke I said, they are very unprofessional, and they have been since I got engaged. I don't know if it is because I know her sister that works there or not, but it is messed up.

Carebear62584

I would also ask to see the measurement sheets.  When I ordered my dress and my BM's ordered their dresses the shop made everyone double check the style number, color, and size and initial next to each.  I suppose not every place is this organized. 

Regardless, you should not be the one to decide people's sizes and the shop should not be taking that info from you, they need to get it from the girl whose dress is being ordered.  If I were you I would cut ties with this place and go somewhere else.  Like you said, they are going to do something to mess up the order out of spite so it's not worth the headache.

Good luck!

doeie04

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_bm-dress-issues-about-to-do-something-irrational?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:93b15f93-0a13-4975-a065-0cb2f118356ePost:a9dc698d-4501-4ae8-91df-fe9135a56b83">Re: BM dress issues. About to do something irrational......</a>:
[QUOTE]I would also ask to see the measurement sheets.  When I ordered my dress and my BM's ordered their dresses the shop made everyone double check the style number, color, and size and initial next to each.  I suppose not every place is this organized.  Regardless, you should not be the one to decide people's sizes and the shop should not be taking that info from you, they need to get it from the girl whose dress is being ordered.  If I were you I would cut ties with this place and go somewhere else.  <strong>Like you said, they are going to do something to mess up the order out of spite so it's not worth the headache</strong>. Good luck!
Posted by Carebear62584[/QUOTE]

You make me feel like I'm not crazy! Thanks!

I was talking to one of my other BMs this morning and we decided if they mess up the dresses, I will pay the girls back and they can go buy black dresses. It isn't the look I want, but it will be okay. I will eat the money if they come in wrong and the shop can deal with the dresses and only half the money. I will make sure to set it aside so I have it if they need it. My BM even said that she would gladly lose the $65 to be done with them. haha

sweetcanadian1979

I hope all goes well!