MOH Rant - LONG

AbeandCarrie

So a little back story.  I have two girls in my bridal party, my sister and my BFF.  I gave them both the title of MOH because they are both very important to me and with only two girls I didn't see the need to make one more important than the other.  This also worked well since my sister lives 1000 miles away and isnt really available to help with a lot of things.

My bachelorette party is supposed to be this weekend.  The date has been set since before thanksgiving since my sister had to make travel arrangements and work around her school schedule.  They told me it was going to be just the three of us and we were going to do something fun but wouldn't give details.  I later came to find out that they wanted to take me to Vegas, but my BFF had a huge leak at her townhouse and was short on funds.  My sister rearranged her travel plans to come home instead of Vegas and my BFF was going to plan a fun girls weekend.  Well, I come to find out today that my BFF cant get a babysitter for her kids and is going to be basically unavailable.  My sister feels HORRIBLE because she didn't make a back up plan.  I just don't know what to do in this situation. 

I am super disappointed about my bach-party but I know I can get over that.  What I am more upset about is my BFF flaking out.  This isn't the first thing that she couldn't make because of her kids.  She was over a hour late to my shower (that she was co-hosting) because she needed to pick up her kids.  I LOVE her children and when I ask my BFF to help with anything wedding related I assume that they would come along since I know it is difficult for her to find child care.  I know she feels bad but I don't think she understands how much it hurts me.  I dont know what to say to her or how to even bring it up.  We have been friends for over 15 years and I don't want to jeopardize that...

goodine11

IS your sister still coming. You too can do something. I don't have kids but I assume that it could be hard to get a sitter espcially if she is a single parent( just an assumption since she can't find someone to watch her kids. If you have other friends maybe you can do something with them.

Jean6912

Wow I'm sorry that your having bachelorette party problems, and that your bff doesn't have help with her kids. I do get how you feel and how frustrated it makes you, I have a bm who has 2 kids and is going through the police academy right now and trying to include her in wedding things is really hard. Luckily her and her husband has a decent support system to help watch the kids and free up some of their time. I wish I had advice to help, all I can say is hang in there.

diamondx423

That really blows. I mean, the date has been set for many months she should have been looking for a sitter all along, or said something much sooner if she couldn't find one. I'm sorry =(  At least you'll get to have a good time with your sister!

Amynutrition

I don't know the ages of your BFFs kids or if they have special needs or something... but could your Mom/FI's Mom/Aunt or a nice lady from Church or something baby sit for her?
If you offered to find someone by the weekend would your friend be OK with that?

AbeandCarrie

She isn't a single parent.  Her husband owns his own business and works pretty long hours.  She is a nurse and works 12 hour over night shifts.  She usually gets daycare from her sister-in-law who I guess has been sort of flaky lately.  The problem is she doesnt trust a lot of people to watch her kids.  If her SIL can do it she will ask me or her mom.  I guess her mom as to work and asking me is obviously out of the question.  I'm sure if she asked her MIL would gladly do it, but she doesnt like leaving her kids at her in-laws.  Not really sure the exact reason.  Her SIL frequently offers to watch the kids there but she always refuses.  He is ok having them at my house or her parents house but for whatever reason doen't like to leave them with her in-laws.