June 2012 Weddings

REALLY?! **Edited so that this post actually makes sense!**

[Okay let me preface this by saying that my FBIL is the king of terrible decision-making and rushing into things.]

One of my best friends finally got engaged on Christmas Eve.  She has been with her guy for the past 5 and a half years and was starting to get at that antsy point.  He finally popped the question, gave her a beautiful ring, and she has been relishing in the moment with friends and family ever since.  I am so happy for her and have loved talking about wedding stuff together for the past few weeks.

Well, we just saw on facebook that FBIL (the one who LIVES with us) apparently is engaged to his girlfriend of 5 months.  Okay, I believe that when you know, you know, but this is his THIRD proposal over the past FOUR years...and for a year he was overseas....

First of all, my heart breaks for my best friend because I think this was kind of her time to shine and here he comes riding on her coattails.  Secondly, I think it is customary to tell friends and family via phone or in person PRIOR to doing a facebook status change for all of your hundreds of friends to see,  Third of all, WHEN WILL YOU LEARN?!?!  He was previously married to engagement girl #1 and that lasted all of 5 months.  I know this seems like a horrible post, but like I have said, he has a history of making terrible, irrational decisions.  

Sorry ladies, it had to go somewhere.  UGH.  Rant over.  

ETA: ...and this is the guy who cannot pay me back for his living expenses in a timely manner....but can buy a ring?

ETA #2: FBIL and my best friend are cousins.  That info would have helped make this post a lot more understandable, haha.  So in essence, their entire side of the family was celebrating her engagement and now she is kind of being pushed aside by his engagement a week later in a way.  THAT is why she is upset.
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Re: REALLY?! **Edited so that this post actually makes sense!**

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_really?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:9ea99f93-7bf8-4c70-8f7c-a8b4eb820e01Post:9b2fdf58-2c05-41b2-bb40-99e017a64d3f">REALLY?!</a>:
    [QUOTE][Okay let me preface this by saying that my FBIL is the king of terrible decision-making and rushing into things.] One of my best friends finally got engaged on Christmas Eve.  She has been with her guy for the past 5 and a half years and was starting to get at that antsy point.  He finally popped the question, gave her a beautiful ring, and she has been relishing in the moment with friends and family ever since.  I am so happy for her and have loved talking about wedding stuff together for the past few weeks. Well, we just saw on facebook that FBIL (the one who LIVES with us) apparently is engaged to his girlfriend of 5 months.  Okay, I believe that when you know, you know, but this is his THIRD proposal over the past FOUR years...and for a year he was overseas.... First of all, my heart breaks for my best friend because I think this was kind of her time to shine and here is comes riding on her coattails.  Secondly, I think it is customary to tell friends and family via phone or in person PRIOR to doing a facebook status change for all of your hundreds of friends to see,  Third of all, WHEN WILL YOU LEARN?!?!  He was previously married to engagement girl #1 and that lasted all of 5 months.  I know this seems like a horrible post, but like I have said, he has a history of making terrible, irrational decisions.   Sorry ladies, it had to go somewhere.  UGH.  Rant over.   ETA: <strong>...and this is the guy who cannot pay me back for his living expenses in a timely manner....but can buy a ring?</strong>
    Posted by Shanee18[/QUOTE]

    <div>Is it bad that this would be what pissed me off the most?</div><div>
    </div><div>Continue to be happy for your friend, it won't steal her thunder if she doesn't let it.  I'm guessing most people will take her engagement more seriously anyways.</div><div>
    </div><div>Don't let it bother you.  He's an adult, making adult decisions (albeit poor ones) and let him do just that.  It'll work out some way or another eventually. :)</div>
  • yikes Shannon! I totally see why you are upset! I can't believe he bought a ring before he paid you back for living expenses.  It sounds like he is a bit immature! I wonder if he posted on facebook instead of telling you in person because he was afraid that you would react badly (justifiably) and he was too chicken?!
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_really?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:9ea99f93-7bf8-4c70-8f7c-a8b4eb820e01Post:23d62883-90fc-4cfe-b992-a2f21626291e">Re: REALLY?!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to REALLY?! : Is it bad that this would be what pissed me off the most? Continue to be happy for your friend, it won't steal her thunder if she doesn't let it.  I'm guessing most people will take her engagement more seriously anyways. Don't let it bother you.  He's an adult, making adult decisions (albeit poor ones) and let him do just that. <strong> It'll work out some way or another eventually</strong>. :)
    Posted by Megbo2012[/QUOTE]

    <div>Yeah, that is what I felt that was absolutely necessary to include.  I feel bad because my friend just went on a texting frenzy with me freaking out about it.</div><div>
    </div><div>And I completely agree with the bolded statement-it always does!  It may not be pretty, but things will work out somehow!</div>
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_really?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:9ea99f93-7bf8-4c70-8f7c-a8b4eb820e01Post:a2ca73c6-72f2-4727-b230-e0059648a146">Re: REALLY?!</a>:
    [QUOTE]yikes Shannon! I totally see why you are upset! I can't believe he bought a ring before he paid you back for living expenses.  It sounds like he is a bit immature! I wonder if he posted on facebook instead of telling you in person because he was afraid that you would react badly (justifiably) and he was too chicken?!
    Posted by amonis[/QUOTE]
      <div>Omg Shannon, I agree with amonis. </div>
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  • I'm sorry Shannon! I can see why you're upset but don't let him get to you! Like Amber said, he sounds a bit immature. Hopefully he'll start taking things more seriously!

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  • I'd be really upset too, but don't get yourself upset!  Like Megbo said, hers will be taken more seriously...his will not. 
    Can I add that I hate when I find stuff out on facebook from GOOD friends before they call/ text me!!!!!!!!!   So frustrating! 
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  • I can definitely see why you're upset.  I'd be really upset too if he owed me money but instead got a ring.

    I would continue to be happy with and for your friend.  As for your FBIL, personally I'd just let that one go and see how long it lasts and just answer questions when asked.
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  • I totally understand being upset about having to find out over FACEBOOK that someone who you live with is engaged. That's crazy! And not being paid back?! unacceptable!
    although, I don't really see how your brother and your friend would be connected. Don't they have separate family and friends? How does one person getting engaged take away from someone else's engagement? It's not like they're related or need to share anything besides you. 
    White Knot

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_really?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:9ea99f93-7bf8-4c70-8f7c-a8b4eb820e01Post:bf0aed3c-f965-4ddf-b86f-a010a606b17e">Re: REALLY?!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I totally understand being upset about having to find out over FACEBOOK that someone who you live with is engaged. That's crazy! And not being paid back?! unacceptable! although,<strong> I don't really see how your brother and your friend would be connected. Don't they have separate family and friends? How does one person getting engaged take away from someone else's engagement? It's not like they're related or need to share anything besides you. </strong>
    Posted by lilmiss_34[/QUOTE]

    <div>CRAP, you are right!  I totally did not explain that part!  FBIL (and obviously, Fi) are cousins with my best friend...I actually met them through her!  So yes they are very related.  Hahahahaha, relaying that information would have been helpful in my post, huh?</div>
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  • Oh! That makes sense, and really does just make the situation suck even more.
    White Knot

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_really?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:9ea99f93-7bf8-4c70-8f7c-a8b4eb820e01Post:424309f5-f0e4-4b63-bd8a-8cda88c18844">Re: REALLY?!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Oh! That makes sense, and really does just make the situation suck even more.
    Posted by lilmiss_34[/QUOTE]

    <div>Yeah, so that is what truthfully bothers me the most is just that she has been waiting over 5 years for this moment and the entire side of the family was so thrilled with the news, and less than 2 weeks later FBIL pops the q to his girlfriend of 5 months.  She was just hurt by his timing, that's all.  Everyone knows FBIL's history so I think her engagement will be taken more seriously, but it just put a damper on her moment...that's all.</div>
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  • I would make sure that you continue to be happy and excited for your friend.  Who knows if FBIL's engagement will even last.  I will not let it get to you, and make sure it doesn't get to your friend either.  He just sounds like the kind of guy who just wants to settle down and will try to with anyone who is willing.  

    Coming from someone who has at least 10 friends/family members who are currently engaged, I know that multiple engagements don't take away from the happiness of an engagement. Hopefully they won't pick the same date though!
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