Pre-Marital Counseling

kaitlyn142

Is anyone else doing secular couples therapy? We just had our first session yesterday, and I think it's awesome. FI and I told each other the one thing we desperately want brought up in therapy and both of them got told to the therapist. I really connected with her, and she's much better than me at helping FI formulate his thoughts. She doesn't let him shut down like I do.

We're still doing pre-Cana, but the one time we met with my priest, he spent the entire meeting lecturing me on why gay marriage is wrong. As I am hugely for gay rights, this didn't go over well with me. I get that it's the Church's position, but he could have dropped it when I said I understood but disagreed. There was no focus on our marriage at all, so I decided to take things into my hands to make sure FI and I have everything sorted.

diamondx423

I'd love to do secular counseling as well, I just don't think we can squeeze it in. I'm sorry your priest did that; if that happened to me I'd walk out.

Hilraythebride

Thats great!!  Hopefully it is what you were hoping for, sorry your priest did that!!

daria24

How did you find your secular therapist? I've thought about doing it since we are not having a religious ceremony. How many sessions are you doing?

smittojess88

we go to a very modern, laid back type of church and as part of their process to marry you they require a "building blocks for marriage class" which starts Saturday. I'm excited to see what it entails!

kaitlyn142

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_pre-marital-counseling-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:a0288f16-4cf9-4af1-a5ed-4dd355b7e2edPost:bd51a7c5-057b-4e87-a488-5babb3e6d9ce">Re: Pre-Marital Counseling</a>:
[QUOTE]How did you find your secular therapist? I've thought about doing it since we are not having a religious ceremony. How many sessions are you doing?
Posted by daria24[/QUOTE]

I googled couples counseling, read bios to make sure we meshed (for us, nothing fluffy), and called till someone called back. Once a week through April, which is when work goes haywire for me.

Megbo2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_pre-marital-counseling-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:a0288f16-4cf9-4af1-a5ed-4dd355b7e2edPost:2636e21a-8bf2-4a2b-99ff-4e1969055fa2">Pre-Marital Counseling</a>:
[QUOTE]Is anyone else doing secular couples therapy? We just had our first session yesterday, and I think it's awesome. FI and I told each other the one thing we desperately want brought up in therapy and both of them got told to the therapist. I really connected with her, and she's much better than me at helping FI formulate his thoughts. She doesn't let him shut down like I do. We're still doing pre-Cana, but the one time we met with my priest<strong>, he spent the entire meeting lecturing me on why gay marriage is wrong. </strong>As I am hugely for gay rights, this didn't go over well with me. I get that it's the Church's position, but he could have dropped it when I said I understood but disagreed. There was no focus on our marriage at all, so I decided to take things into my hands to make sure FI and I have everything sorted.
Posted by kaitlyn142[/QUOTE]

<div>Wow that is terrible.  How does that pertain to YOUR marriage? I would have freaked out. </div>

midgetthemighty

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_pre-marital-counseling-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:a0288f16-4cf9-4af1-a5ed-4dd355b7e2edPost:34391d4e-91cb-4336-8c3b-e57a6bbf956b">Re: Pre-Marital Counseling</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Pre-Marital Counseling : Wow that is terrible.  <strong>How does that pertain to YOUR marriage?</strong> I would have freaked out. 
Posted by Megbo2012[/QUOTE]

I was asking the same question in my mind. How did they even come up?

kaitlyn142

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_pre-marital-counseling-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:a0288f16-4cf9-4af1-a5ed-4dd355b7e2edPost:6f43dacc-791f-4ef8-8069-062a22238467">Re: Pre-Marital Counseling</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Pre-Marital Counseling : I was asking the same question in my mind. How did they even come up?
Posted by midgetthemighty[/QUOTE]




This was when NY legalized gay marriage. It was a hot topic in the churches. It started with how FI and I need to respect the sanctity of marriage and morphed into the rant against gays.