Keep harping on one detail of my wedding day

rikkidawn28

After the ceremony, we wanted to do the champagne toast amongst the wedding party. We found out that two of the groomsmen had already changed out of their tux. My husband went to track down the guys and ask them to get dressed into their tux once more.
As me and my bridesmaids were waiting for the groom and groomsmen to show back up for the champagne toast, the wedding (day of) coordinator smiled and asked one of my bridesmaids if I was always so calm. The coordinator had complemented my calmness for the Rehearsal day as well as my wedding day a couple times already when she asked my bridesmaid the question.

I felt as though my bridesmaid might say something other than what the coordinator was expecting. I turned at looked at the bridesmaid to see her response. She said "Noooo" (dragging the word out) then smiled.

I felt instantly humilated and discredited for all my efforts.. I had worked super hard on planning the wedding and was still going to continue to make sure that the special dances and other ceremonial acts would get documented after completing the champagne toast.

I tried to defend myself but to shrug it off but it didn't help. The coordinator looked uncomfortable and worried mentioning too much stress could lead to an alcer. Another bridesmaid tried to help lessen things by saying "I hide things well" which made it even more awkard for me. I am good with relating to people. I generally am calm and flexible. I had been stressed the week up to the wedding but I believe that is normal from other brides I have talked to and also from reading the boards on TK. These two bridesmaids don't see me very often since we live in different towns. Neither of them understand what it is liike to plan a wedding especially to the extent I had planned mine.

I felt it very unfair that they said those things to me so all I could really get myself to say to get them to stop discussing my coping skills was to sacrastically thank them for standing up for me.

I know the first bridesmaid didn't mean to make me look so bad but I still really hurts.

Any suggestions?

midgetthemighty

Let it go? Seriously, I think that's all you can do.

LeiselEB

I don't think anything they said made you look bad. I think they were kidding and I doubt your wedding planner thinks any different of you. I'm not one to say this usually, but I really think you're being oversensitive. Just let it go, shrug it off, etc etc.

MoonlightSilver

How does that make you look bad? If you were calm and organized on the wedding day, it doesn't matter if you are or are not always calm. 

peachykeen26

I agree. Let it go. Dwelling on it is going to ruin your memory of your wedding.

rikkidawn28

Thanks for the feedback. I am trying to let it go and I have forgiven my bridesmaid(s). The champagne toast picture turned out great despite all the awkwardness leading up to it. I have attached a photo of it.
Thanks for saying that their comments probably didn't make me look bad. Maybe I was being a bit sensitive but I continued on after doing the champagne toast and did the bouquet toss (which I purchased a toss bouquet so I could take my bridal bouquet with me on my honeymoon), the garter removal/toss, followed by the first dance, father'/daughter dance, son/mom dance, then the money dance.
After that I spent the rest of the night just celebrating.
One of my neighbors, who was a guest at the wedding, said he was impressed that I danced for about 40 or so minutes straight.

tgerl

I agree that you should let it go.  I'm normally pretty calm and laid back, but I'm pretty sure I was a raging bioch a few times during the wedding when things weren't going.  It's pretty normal and I don't think anyone would think anything of it. 

Ash61612

I agree with the PP's, let it go.

random question, why did you take your bouquet on your honeymoon? I have never heard of that....

rikkidawn28

I took it with me because I love flowers and wanted to have it with me on my honeymoon while it decayed. Some people theirs preserved. I couldn't have done that if I wanted to because we were going directly on our honeymoon. Besides my cousin forgot the toss bouquet at the venue. I imagine we would have forgotten my bouquet if I had tossed it to her. The succulents that were in my bouquet are still fairing well so I have them in my kitchen.
So I suppose the reason is sentimental value.

And like I said in the posting with the picture in it, I have forgiven them. I have even had dinner with my friend who made me feel embarrassed while waiting for the champagne toast. So I have let it go now.