Thursday Vent day

Danidawn20

 So,

Vent away.


Fi and I got into a fight about really stupid stuff last night. I was angry he keeps buying things we don't need and don't have the money/space for. He suggested we buy a house with out HM money and skip the HM. It lead to this very big fight. I apologized this morning, but he hasn't yet. I kinda want him too because he was very hurtful and mean.

Danidawn20

Oh and my Mom's dog is not doing well, and she may be dying. The Vet said it could be from a fall where she landing on her head. While, when I was holding her, she fell from my hands and landed on her head. My sister said that I'm the one to blame because I dropped her on her head. It was an accident, but now I feel as if I killed my mom's dog.

chelseakopperud

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_thursday-vent-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:a2fa5ec3-5aff-403d-b9a1-6ba033130d9fPost:11ced193-93d1-4421-8660-bff50e073bc2">Re: Thursday Vent day</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh and my Mom's dog is not doing well, and she may be dying. The Vet said it could be from a fall where she landing on her head. While, when I was holding her, she fell from my hands and landed on her head. M<strong>y sister said that I'm the one to blame</strong> because I dropped her on her head. It was an accident, but now I feel as if I killed my mom's dog. :(
Posted by Danidawn20[/QUOTE]

Wow- that is very inconsiderate of your sister to say. Im sorry.

KrisKenny

So I thought all was well with my bridal party and the planning of our jack & jill. WRONG!!! I don't know all the details, but I guess their personalities are getting the better of them and not working things out together. So, on the 21st, before my cake tasting, we are all going to have lunch together so everything can be hashed out and figure out what the heck is going on between them.

MMRoberts11

Dani - I'm sorry.  That was very inconsiderate of your sister so say.

Shanee18

I have started back up going to the gym regularly, doing the challenges for strength training, drinking more water, and significantly eating healthier/less calories and my weight has not budged.  Granted, it has been only since Monday, but still I would like to see SOME kind of improvements either in the way my body looks or the numbers on the scale.

sweetcanadian1979

my fiance & i got into a fight yesterday too. Must have been the day for them. I won't post what it is as it was dumb & most would be like wtf? are you serious?

jfellows82

So my boss suddenly decides to review/follow up on a bunch of work I gave him MONTHS ago and just threw a million things on my desk and thinks I can get it all done before the weekend.  Ummm...not going to happen!  You want me to do the work of a full time employee, but you only want to pay me to work 2 days a week.  I can't do 40 hours of work in 2 days. 

ncd5015

It's so cold and I have no heat in my office! Hopefully they'll give me a new heating system soon!

Dani - I'm sorry to hear about your mom's dog!

sleblanc72

Oh Dani I'm so sorry, it's absolutely not your fault and your sister was way in the wrong to say that.

Shan don't worry, it takes time but I know how frustrating it can be.  I get really frustrated when I go long periods of time that I'm not gaining anything and even when I do it's such a slight amount it gets depressing but I realize that as long as I'm still exercising and eating healthy and my body is healthy then at some point it will all come together.

My vent is that I've had a stupid sinus thing and a cold since last Tuesday and it just doesn't want to finish leaving my system, it has seemingly enjoyed hanging around and keeping me congested.

Ash61612

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_thursday-vent-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:a2fa5ec3-5aff-403d-b9a1-6ba033130d9fPost:5f77b439-4388-4168-b500-0f36703cfbe4">Re: Thursday Vent day</a>:
[QUOTE]I have started back up going to the gym regularly, doing the challenges for strength training, drinking more water, and significantly eating healthier/less calories and my weight has not budged.  Granted, it has been only since Monday,<strong> but still I would like to see SOME kind of improvements either in the way my body looks or the numbers on the scale.</strong>
Posted by Shanee18[/QUOTE]
Shannon, sometimes the scale doesn't always reflect the changes that are going on within our body as we diet/exercise. results will show up, I promise. I lost 50+ lbs a couple years ago and it can be overwhelming at times. Baby steps!

DrPB2b13

I've needed to vent this for a few days now, and so I might as well here.

My mother can't stand not being in control and the center of attention.  During my wedding dress shopping appointments, she kept trying to steal the consultant's attention, and the two bridesmaids who were with us were kind of rather horrified by her behavior.

It was during dress shopping that my mom apparently INFORMED my bridesmaids that they HAD to throw me a shower, but that she'd "help" by letting them know who to invite.  I'm pretty certain that she told them this because she was convinced that they actually wouldn't be able to, thereby once again controlling what happens in the life of Abbe.  Luckily, they weren't too upset or offended by my mom because a) they understand what a raving b!tch she can be, and b) they were already planning on hosting the shower anyway.

This was all a surprise to me - or at least, it was SUPPOSED to be.  I found out about this all a couple of days ago, when my BMs came to me because my mother is now refusing to communicate with them AT ALL, and won't give them a list - or even a rough headcount - of the people who should be invited to the shower, and they need numbers to be able to continue with their plans.  At this point, I'm pretty sure she's just trying to sabotage the bridal shower, or at least somehow retain control of the situation.

This is really just the cherry on the sundae at this point.  I'm angry that she's continuing to try to control what happens to me by refusing to help after telling them she would.  To add to this, my bridesmaids are now compiling a list of "things to do to keep Abbe's mom occupied" so they can try to redirect her during the bridal shower.  I can see this entire thing blowing up in my face now - and the worst part is, it will likely also be the first time my mother meets my FILs.

All I can say is, I'm grateful my BMs are doing this and already know what she's like, though I'm sorry for the one who drew the short straw (they literally did this; nobody wanted to have to deal with her).  But I am seriously having nightmares now about the various ways my mother is going to try to screw everything up and/or make it all about her.

I'm out of ideas and energy for dealing with this, I kind of want it to just all go away....but then her demands that I scale everything down or elope will be met.  Why can't I win?!

diamondx423

I'm really upset with FI. He lied to me for months about something school related, and I only found out yesterday when his aunt called saying they weren't paying for his school anymore because of his crap semester. I recognize that my academic achievements are far beyond what most people want, and do not judge people based upon their education/lack of education, but lying is unacceptable.

When things started to go wrong he needed to tell me, so that I could 1) be aware and 2) do everything in my power to help. But instead he pretended nothing was wrong, point blank lied to me, and hoped I wouldn't find out. News flash, darling, I will always find out...

Shanee18

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_thursday-vent-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:a2fa5ec3-5aff-403d-b9a1-6ba033130d9fPost:057c601c-3a3e-451d-b09a-9c9ac5921e36">Re: Thursday Vent day</a>:
[QUOTE]News flash, darling, I will always find out...
Posted by diamondx423[/QUOTE]

Ain't that the truth! 

Ugh seems like a lot of us are having issues/problems lately!  Hugs to you all and hoping that things get better for each and every one of you!

nvelez28

DrPB - That's a terrible situation.  Do you have a sense that you're mom is aware of her behavior?  Would you ask your BMs to keep her out of the loop?

daria24

This is totally minor compared to others, but I'm really, really annoyed that my FI has suddenly stopped shaving and is growing a beard. First it was just because he was off work last week and was being lazy. Then he wanted to wear it to work on Tuesday to see how people reacted and swore he would shave it right after. Now it's three days later...and the fuzz is still there. It looks bad and it feels even worse. It's like kissing a brillo pad.

I told him he can have his fun now, but if I have to sit on him and shave his face myself the morning of June 8th, he is getting married with a smooth face.

Purple&7

My vent is sort of in my post above. I hate that I can never decide on something and stick with it!! Some days I'm just ready for this wedding to be over with!

julianahenao881

I been sick for the past 2 weeks and I don't seem to be getting any better, I been to the doctor, took medicine and still nothing seems to help and i can't miss anymore work because i need it for the HM ughhhhh...just want to be home in my bed

Ash61612

Dani, I am sorry you are going through everything! It's not your fault.

DrPB, is there anyway you can talk to your mom about it? I would have for it to blow up in YOUR face since she is the one acting up.

Tara, sorry to hear FI lied to you about his schooling. Hope it gets worked out soon

acaponi87

Lots of vents today!! Feel better ladies. I've got lots too lol

-FI is in New Orleans (he went to the Sugar Bowl). I want him to come home (he is but late tonight). I know he got beyond trashed on Tuesday and is STILL hungover (well, your fault), but I miss him. We've been up in MI at our parents houses for 3 weeks now while neither of us have to work but I can't wait to get back to our home and back to our routines.

-Getting home may be tricky because my dad drove my car yesterday and heard the noise it's been making. It's loud, and constant. My car has always been loud so I thought it maybe had always been this loud and I was overthinking the sounds ever since my car blew a tire out. Guess not. My dad is an auto guy..worked in the business end of the auto industry for 30+ years and used to own a brake shop when he was younger. He offered to try to fix it, I made a comment along the lines of, if you don't think you can fix it then don't (I thought he only fixed brakes) and he  took SUPER OFFENSE to it. Literally giving me the silent treatment. It's been 2 days and I've apologized twice. I'm really annoyed, because I didn't mean to be offensive. Last time he got this pissed at me he didn't talk to me for months. I guess I'm just frustrated that an almost 60 year old can't be mature enough to accept an apology and move on. I'll be really upset if he doesn't talk to me for 4 of the last 5 months up til I get married.

calisel

I have a vent to get out there...

My FMI made these god awful scrolls for us to put with our wedding favors. Not only are they ugly, but I do not like the wording. My FI went along with her idea because he really didn't care. I showed a sample one to my mom and she just looked at me like "what the heck is this for?" I do not have the heart or balls to tell her I do not like or want them to be at the wedding. She has already printed all of them out and bought the ribbon to tie them with. They do not go with our theme what so ever and I don't like the way they look. Oh, what to do???

I will post the sample later this evening so you can see what I am talking about.

midgetthemighty

I'm sending hugs to all of you, you need them! Goodness gracious!

Completey off topic, but diamond, have you always had that x in your SN? Ignore me if I'm crazy/a SN change is none of my business.

Zimsgirl

Well I addressed my vent yesterday. The head boss of our paper had our meeting with us today. She said we have problems and they need to be addressed...some were losing accounts and others were professionalism. I told her I don't feel like there is enough professionalism in our office and too much socializing. I said yesterday I was working and people were in the office talking about weddings and things from break. If you're going to socialize don't be in the office. The girl and her friend got really defensive and made mean looks to me. Whatever it's true and other people socialize too much. This isn't gonna be a fun day in the office but it needed to be addressed

diamondx423

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_thursday-vent-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:a2fa5ec3-5aff-403d-b9a1-6ba033130d9fPost:693727d0-b2dd-4046-8e5f-320601162d30">Re: Thursday Vent day</a>:
[QUOTE]Completey off topic, but diamond, have you always had that x in your SN? Ignore me if I'm crazy/a SN change is none of my business.
Posted by midgetthemighty[/QUOTE]

haha yup... its my super hipster AIM screen name from high school =)

ETA; Ashley, thanks. Things will be fine. I know that FIs been depressed, we had a horrible year. I just wish he would tell me so we can fix things before it gets to a point of no return. And its FMILs bday so now I need to fake nice and pray she doesn't smack talk FI to me because I will flip out.

midgetthemighty

Nice, mine is my old AIM SN too! I guess you changed your avatar picture? Something looked different to me. lol

diamondx423

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_thursday-vent-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:a2fa5ec3-5aff-403d-b9a1-6ba033130d9fPost:5f4b5465-7f6c-495a-b424-0a922ea11288">Re: Thursday Vent day</a>:
[QUOTE]Nice, mine is my old AIM SN too! I guess you changed your avatar picture? Something looked different to me. lol
Posted by midgetthemighty[/QUOTE]

haha, yes. thanks for stalking =)

midgetthemighty

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_thursday-vent-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:a2fa5ec3-5aff-403d-b9a1-6ba033130d9fPost:af32b6d1-1006-41b1-b6cc-dd9c701353df">Re: Thursday Vent day</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Thursday Vent day : haha, yes. thanks for stalking =)
Posted by diamondx423[/QUOTE]

You found out my secret hobby! I kid, I kid. I just have a really good memory for that kind of thing.

DrPB2b13

@ Ash & Nvelez, my mother has acted this way forever.  She's seen various counselors and therapists, and the second they start to actually get to the root of her issues she quits therapy.  I'm pretty sure she's technically aware of her behavior, but justifies it somehow.  Nothing is ever her problem, it's all my problem - or his problem, or their problem, or whatever.  She doesn't take responsibility for anything; never has, never will.  The couple of times I've seen people confront her about her behavior, the excuses are always the same - so-and-so called for it; I'm sorry YOU have this problem; how dare you judge me, you don't know me or my kid, etc. etc.  She runs one hell of a gamut.  If and when it blows up in my face, it won't be my friends or other family; it will be my mother, angry at me for letting people treat her this way, or poisoning them against her, or something to that effect.

The worst part is, I can't even EXPECT this to happen, because she changes her mind and mood so often.  It might blow up, it might not; she might have a problem that day, she might not; she might have only a LITTLE problem, or it might be HUGE.  It can be something as small as, "oh, that's great you're opening presents but look at me because I have a wine bottle!  Who wants more?!" and something as big as, "That's great that you're opening presents, but I have stories to tell everyone instead!"  Or it might not be "about me," it might be that she has to spend the next 3 weeks (or even years) ranting about how she couldn't eat the food because of the allergies she hasn't notified anyone about (seriously, Thanksgiving was a passive-aggressive game of 20 questions regarding ingredients in the food, ending in "I CAN'T EAT THAT, I'M ALLERGIC" rather than just TELLING me what she was allergic to).

I'm sick of beating my head against a wall for her, but at the same time I can't just let it go because it affects so many other people in my life right now.

kaitlyn142

First vent is that I'm sick and had to take off of work - not because I'm too sick to work, but because it's a small office and I don't want to be a Typhoid Mary. My psudo boss told me to take tomorrow off, too. It feels lazy not going in when it's just a silly cold. At least we have unlimited sick leave. If this were counting against PTO, there would be problems.

Second vent is my FMIL. While we were visiting FI's family for the holidays, his mom cornered me. Most of her lecture I was able to tune out. I'm used to her trying to help me find Jesus, or offer her financial "advice." What has me still furious every time I think of it is that she asked me how much my parents are contributing to the wedding. Without thinking, I answered the question (mistake!) with nothing, because FI and I are adults, and my parents raised me to be financially independent.

FMIL started going off on how traditional she is, and how terrible it is that my parents aren't paying for any of the wedding, and how in her culture, parents should always pay for the children's wedding. She flat out said my parents were bad parents for not paying for the wedding.

The kicker is that a) I know full well in Chinese culture, the groom's parents pay, not the bride's and b) she isn't contributing anything! The only thing she has done is add expenses. This isn't to say I want money from her. I don't. FI and I prefer to pay for the wedding ourselves, but where does she get off criticizing my parents for not contributing money when she isn't contributing *anything.* As least my family is helping materially, with my mom sewing my dress, cousin baking the cake, etc.

Grrr. That just makes me so furious. To be clear, it's the fact that she called my parents bad parents that makes me angry, not that she isn't paying anything for the wedding.

Danidawn20

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_thursday-vent-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:a2fa5ec3-5aff-403d-b9a1-6ba033130d9fPost:abddb359-580e-46e4-b8b0-c41d813a3660">Re: Thursday Vent day</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Thursday Vent day : Wow- that is very inconsiderate of your sister to say. Im sorry.
Posted by chelseakopperud[/QUOTE]

Thank's I think she is just upset and emotional right now.

Ash61612

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_thursday-vent-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:a2fa5ec3-5aff-403d-b9a1-6ba033130d9fPost:1b00fb81-9d84-4a08-81c5-71b849e30064">Re: Thursday Vent day</a>:
[QUOTE]First vent is that I'm sick and had to take off of work - not because I'm too sick to work, but because it's a small office and I don't want to be a Typhoid Mary. My psudo boss told me to take tomorrow off, too. It feels lazy not going in when it's just a silly cold. At least we have unlimited sick leave. If this were counting against PTO, there would be problems. Second vent is my FMIL. While we were visiting FI's family for the holidays, his mom cornered me. Most of her lecture I was able to tune out. I'm used to her trying to help me find Jesus, or offer her financial "advice." What has me still furious every time I think of it is that she asked me how much my parents are contributing to the wedding. Without thinking, I answered the question (mistake!) with nothing, because FI and I are adults, and my parents raised me to be financially independent. FMIL started going off on how traditional she is, and how terrible it is that my parents aren't paying for any of the wedding, and how in her culture, parents should always pay for the children's wedding. She flat out said my parents were bad parents for not paying for the wedding. The kicker is that a) I know full well in Chinese culture, the groom's parents pay, not the bride's and b) she isn't contributing anything! The only thing she has done is add expenses. This isn't to say I want money from her. I don't. FI and I prefer to pay for the wedding ourselves, but where does she get off criticizing my parents for not contributing money when she isn't contributing *anything.* As least my family is helping materially, with my mom sewing my dress, cousin baking the cake, etc. Grrr. That just makes me so furious. To be clear, it's the fact that she called my parents bad parents that makes me angry, not that she isn't paying anything for the wedding.
Posted by kaitlyn142[/QUOTE]

your FI needs to have a talk with his mom ASAP. She was way out of line