(nonreligious) premarital counseling books?

Turtle&Star

I wasn't sure what other board this question would belong on, but I figured the June folks might be able to help me out. I'm looking for a book or two that the FI and I could work through as a sort of DIY premarital counseling. (Yes, I know, we could actually just get counseling - but for now, I'm just looking for books.) I've especially liked some I've seen on amazon that include worksheets and things for you to fill out - "what rules did your parents have about money," etc. But every such book I've seen so far is written from a Christian perspective, with chapters devoted to God's purpose for your life, etc., which is not really what we're looking for. (No judgment here - just not what we're after, personally.) Can anyone recommend a book like this that is not written specifically for Christians? Thanks so much, ladies!

chelseakopperud

I dont have any suggestions (unless you want to go the Christian route!!)... but I wanted to say that I think its great that you want to invest your time in this! I hope you find something!

AlliJae

I think the "Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman is a really great counseling book. It honestly is so good, and when I read it a barely remember anything about the religious stuff. It might have small parts around it, but it is not emphasized at all (at least from my perspective). It has good insight and an assessment to take to start your discussion. I highly reccomend it.

mrspatnou

I don't know of actual books but I know there are tons of checklist of things to talk about with your FI before the big day. I love Google! Hope this helps!

doeie04

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_nonreligious-premarital-counseling-books?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:a82fa468-8519-4c07-965b-7892faafbb5fPost:f388d957-0829-47c9-9027-80334561cf43">Re: (nonreligious) premarital counseling books?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think the "Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman is a really great counseling book. It honestly is so good, and when I read it a barely remember anything about the religious stuff. It might have small parts around it, but it is not emphasized at all (at least from my perspective). It has good insight and an assessment to take to start your discussion. I highly reccomend it.
Posted by AlliJae[/QUOTE]

I wanted to second this. It was amazing!
I am not into the religious stuff either. It may have had some in it, but nothing that I remember.

Other than that, our counceling has been going over stuff we have already talked about. Monday we talked about our long term and short term financial goals. We also need to discuss a budget for when we get married. (Which we already have done.)

We are using the packet from Prepare/Enrich. It is religious based, I believe, but it is a good packet. (I think my cousin just skips over that stuff. It isn't packed with it.)

tgerl

I have heard very good things about the Gottman Institute and I don't believe they are religious.  The book "Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work" might be along the lines of what you are looking for.  Looks like it has gotten good reviews from Amazon too

Turtle&Star

Thanks, everybody! Both the Five Love Languages book and the 7 Principles book look good - I will definitely check them out. And I'm poking around on google too :-). I think also maybe I need to just ask the FI if we can set aside some regular time to talk about this stuff so that it doesn't get ignored as the wedding frenzy starts to take over.

mbishop7

It does have a religious route, but I don't think it talks about "having god in your marriage.. blah blah". I think I understand where you're coming from about not pearching about god in a marriage book! 

I got Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex Friendship & Life Together. The writers are both pastors, but it's not writen the way you would think it is. Check it out!

 http://www.amazon.com/Real-Marriage-Truth-Friendship-Together/dp/140020383X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1330569327&sr=8-1

Edit: It has a participants guide too for you and your husband to be to do together!!