How is your bachelorette paid for?

michellep1

So today I was discussing my bachelorette with my sister - its not a surprise or anything and she wants my involvement.  Anyway she said something about the sooner she gets the invites out, the sooner she can get reimbursed for the limo.  She fronted the money to book it and the balance is due in a couple months; she's a college student and not working right now so she really doesn't have the ability to go too long without that money since it came out of her loans.

I asked how she was planning on getting the money from ppl other than bridesmaids and she said she was going to put a blurb on the invite with information about where people are staying, what the agenda is, and how much per person it would be.  I think this is extraordinarily tacky, but I don't know how its normally done!  I'm the first of any of my friends to get married, so we really have no guidance on the issue.  I'm also the only one in my family that seems to care about etiquette at all, so I can't ask them about it.  I'm thinking maybe I'll just give her the money myself in the interim, and then she can get it from people the night of and pay me back without anyone knowing.  Does anyone have any other ideas?  Do you know how this will happen for your bachelorette or do you have any suggestions from bachelorettes you've attended?

Thanks in advance, I'm really worked up over this!

doeie04

When we go out for ours, we will be paying our own way. (From what I understand.)

I totally agree with you, she shouldn't put it on the invitations.

How many people does she plan on getting money from? That could be an issue if it is a lot.

steph4nu

In the weddings that I have been in, the bridal party has split the cost for the bachelorette party.  The only thing that the other girls had to pay for was $10 if they wanted to come out on the limo with us.  We spread that by word of mouth. 

I do agree that it would be tacky to put it on the invite.  I think your best bet would be by word of mouth. 

diamondx423

The last one I went to total cost was split between bridal party and guests. It was in the invite.

amonis

I agree that it is tacky to put it on the invite.  The only one that I have ever been to she MOH (planning it) got everyone's agreement on the limo before it was booked so that everyone was aware of what it would cost before the party.  I personally wouldnt like to be invited on the terms of paying for a limo without prior knowledge because some people just can't afford it and I wouldnt want that to stop my friends from coming. 

melntaitt

We are going to Turning Stone Casino and paying our own way from what I understand. We're getting the pre-paid cards with a set dollar amountso we don't go nuts and lose all our money; but I'm sure that my friends understand that my one person bridal party can't afford to pay for 8 girls to gamble all night and have dinner.

I'm not doing invitations though, so there wasn't really an issue, but I would recommend the itinerary but call or email hostess for additional details.

Elizabeth80

This! Every bachelorette party I've helped with we, the bridal party footed the bill if we rented anything ( hotel, limo, restaurant etc). We also paid for the bride

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_how-is-your-bachelorette-paid-for?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:aed44e51-fb04-48d8-8642-587203d92f02Post:8483d1d4-1b64-4983-bf51-da87e981b125">Re: How is your bachelorette paid for?</a>:
[QUOTE]In the weddings that I have been in, the bridal party has split the cost for the bachelorette party.  The only thing that the other girls had to pay for was $10 if they wanted to come out on the limo with us.  We spread that by word of mouth.  I do agree that it would be tacky to put it on the invite.  I think your best bet would be by word of mouth. 
Posted by steph4nu[/QUOTE]

michellep1

There's about 15 girls coming and 6 in my bridal party, so it'd be a lot for them to pay for everyone.  She did clear the limo with everyone first - she made a little facebook event and gave them the information and asked them to respond if they'd likely come because she had to have the count to book the limo in the first place.  So everyone does know that they'd be paying a little for the limo, not everything else, its just the actual getting the money from people that we're trying to figure out.

mrspatnou

Maybe an insert card just to say the dollar amount so it is bot on the invite in case they want to keep it for a keepsake. Or say call whoever is in charge to discuss it further. Im sorry I am not more help. I dont think I am having one-no one said anything yet and I have never been invited to one. FI just got invited to a bachelor party and their was an email sent to him with the schedule of events and the cost.

Carebear62584

My friend got married about 3 years ago and we planned on getting a party bus and going to the bars in Providence (about 45 mins away).  We had about 13 girls lined up to do this and my mom was kind enough to let me put the $100 deposit on her credit card.  Well, the day before and the day of we had half of the girls drop out and a party bus would have cost too much.  We ended up cancelling it and going with a limo but lost our deposit because we had to switch companies because it was last minute.  I still made the girls pay me that dropped out because it wasn't fair to my mom.  Take it from me...make the girls pay your sister ahead of time because if they don't I guarantee some will drop out and the price will change for everyone and your sister will end up screwed.

As for mine, we have a few girls who won't be drinking because they are nursing babies and my cousin (MOH) doesn't drink so we won't have an issue with anything.  Plus, we will be close enough where my mom and aunt will pick us up if we need her too. 

doeie04

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_how-is-your-bachelorette-paid-for?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:aed44e51-fb04-48d8-8642-587203d92f02Post:1c434b28-7f8b-4f1c-8cf6-695ed49d684d">Re: How is your bachelorette paid for?</a>:
[QUOTE]There's about 15 girls coming and 6 in my bridal party, so it'd be a lot for them to pay for everyone.  She did clear the limo with everyone first - she made a little facebook event and gave them the information and asked them to respond if they'd likely come because she had to have the count to book the limo in the first place.  So everyone does know that they'd be paying a little for the limo, not everything else, its just the actual getting the money from people that we're trying to figure out.
Posted by michellep1[/QUOTE]

Let everyone know that they need their cash before they get in the limo. That way they don't say they will pay it later and then don't. I think if they have been warned before hand on FB, and she could post the "admission fee" there, then it is fine.

noisulli22

I don't think its tacky they she tells everyone how much it will cost because you can't always go by word of mouth. They story may change or someone might be mad that they wasn't verbally told by the person who throwing the party that they need to bring X amount of money. Since I'm in school, paying a mortgage and planning a wedding I would prefer to be in told in writing in advance how much I need to spend that night so I can budget accordingly because someone will act like they didn't get the news by mouth that they are supposed to bring a X amount. Think about this when some parents throw their child a birthday party a local place parents will put in the invite how much it cost for other children to play so the same rules apply. And if you fork over the money then don't expect to be paid back in return. I'm payinng for some of my stuff for my bachelorette party eg some cheap decorations, alcohol I like to drink and my outfit. It's your Bachelorette party there is no etiquette and if by small chance it is who cares it's YOUR bacheloretter party, make up your darn rules!! I betcha men don't worry about etiquette when it comes to their bachelor party. 

kristin183

I agree, tacky to put on the invite.
As a guest  would be annoyed I wasn't told upfront. She needs to contact everyone going and ask if they are okay pitching in for a limo. Most likely no one will care but people prefer to be asked and not told.