Responding to guests inviting extras

lanie8992

Well, I just sent a short note to the girl who sent back her response card (which only had 2 seats reserved) back with her 17 and 22 year-old kids added to it. It took me all weekend to come up with what to say. Now I'm waiting nervously for her reply. I pray this is the only one of these I have to do.

laurabub

That stinks, I wish people would understand how wedding invites work.  I hope she doesn't make a fuss about it to you. 

[Deleted User]

I'm having my MOH deal with those if they come up but remember that this is your day! 

Ash61612

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_responding-guests-inviting-extras?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:af29527a-8a63-4503-a3b3-7b6a3c1ff348Post:843d8b4d-73a8-498c-b900-3e95f5a2cd35">Re: Responding guests inviting extras</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm having my MOH deal with those if they come up but remember that this is your day! 
Posted by Micaela2007[/QUOTE]
your having your MOH call the guests who invite +1's? Why wouldn't you or your parents, depending on who is hosting, handle this? <div>
</div><div>ETA: If/when we have this come up, I will say due to budget/space limitations we had to limit the invites</div>

lanie8992

I would love to have my MOH do it. She's my daughter and I'm sure she wouldn't mind at all. She's a pretty direct person. But I didn't want anyone getting upset with her so I figured I'd do it myself. I have a bit more control over my mouth than she does.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_responding-guests-inviting-extras?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:af29527a-8a63-4503-a3b3-7b6a3c1ff348Post:5c8fe26b-1086-4ab8-9f51-543507dfef45">Re: Responding guests inviting extras</a>:
[QUOTE]I would love to have my MOH do it. She's my daughter and I'm sure she wouldn't mind at all. She's a pretty direct person. But I didn't want anyone getting upset with her so I figured I'd do it myself. I have a bit more control over my mouth than she does.
Posted by lanie8992[/QUOTE]

Not only is my MOH (my sister) a more direct person, but she's a much better communicator than my dad within the family. She's the best at communicating with the family and has no problem if people get upset with her.  My parents just don't need that additional stress nor can they really handle it.

lanie8992

Just heard back from the girl. She said she didn't see the number written in and she's fine with just her and her husband attending. They may get a room in the area that night anyway-it's their anniversary.

Thanks for listening ladies.

acaponi87

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_responding-guests-inviting-extras?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:af29527a-8a63-4503-a3b3-7b6a3c1ff348Post:3b6c8547-a833-41ce-ac7f-42d97d991573">Re: Responding to guests inviting extras</a>:
[QUOTE]Just heard back from the girl. She said she didn't see the number written in and she's fine with just her and her husband attending. They may get a room in the area that night anyway-it's their anniversary. Thanks for listening ladies.
Posted by lanie8992[/QUOTE]

Oh good!

BrooklynNovia

If this were to happen to us, budget is not an excuse, it's the legitimate reason.  With an endless budget, I'd love to include a lot more people.  FI and I will be the only ones making those calls because we're hosting.

Kokkea

I had this with one family, I invited them and their daughter and she decided to add her boyfriend. I weighed out saying no or just going with it and since they have been together for about a year and are close friends i left it be, but still was not impressed at first! You have to be okay with your decision, i decided since we already recieved a few declines that we had the room! Our wedding is June 2, 2012 and we are having about 85 guests (guessing that the rest of my guests attend)

Shelly527IN

My reasoning for my limit is the size of my church.  It will only hold approximately 154 people.  We have invited 180 (including the pastor and the six people in the wedding party).  I'm not inviting very many children, only those from out of town that I know won't be able to get a sitter.  I'm only inviting cousins from one aunt.  I'd love to invite everyone I know, but it's impossible.

Zimsgirl

Glad it worked out! I'm dreading this

mashavoo

It's funny how guest feel like they can bring the world with them....why can't people understand that a wedding is a catered affair...im sure if we were billionaires we could invite everyone..but thats not the case.

my mothers friend called my mom the other day saying she has some people to invite..."what"...who does that...i don't know what my mom told her and i don't want to know...LOL

michellep1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_responding-guests-inviting-extras?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:af29527a-8a63-4503-a3b3-7b6a3c1ff348Post:79ffcef2-2257-4e38-9790-db8075144e78">Re: Responding to guests inviting extras</a>:
[QUOTE]It's funny how guest feel like they can bring the world with them....why can't people understand that a wedding is a catered affair...im sure if we were billionaires we could invite everyone..but thats not the case. <strong>my mothers friend called my mom the other day saying she has some people to invite..</strong>."what"...who does that...i don't know what my mom told her and i don't want to know...LOL
Posted by mashavoo[/QUOTE]

Omg, I can't even imagine this situation!  I thought reigning in my mother's expanding guest list was bad - this is so uncalled for!!

I hope we don't have this situation & I plan to be as specific as possible on the invites about who's invited.  We have a very real capacity problem, we've invited 20 more people than can legally fit in our venue, so hopefully a ton of people say no!  Any extras are totally out of the question!

MMRoberts11

I'm glad everything worked out.

kristin183

Funny; I haven't sent out invites and I already had someone inviting additional guests. I actually accounted for people bringing their family. If they had kids I included them and etc. So I didn't think I would really have this problem...but.. One of FI's Groomsmen wife called and asked if his parents could attend. She is prego and due the week before our wedding so his parents will be here. My FI loves this Groomsman parents so he said yes. I was a little annoyed she asked FI and not me... but oh well. FI knows to ask me from here on out. Hopefully it will all workout.

I think most people understand if you have a limited guest list