MOH Vent

melntaitt

So my FMIL is hosting the RD and she emailed me a few minutes ago; my MOH is the last person to respond to the invitation and she was hoping I could contact her to find out if she had a choice. If she didn't that was fine but she was just wondering.

Anyway, my MOH responds with "It's not the RSVP deadline yet and I haven't spoken to my husband." Hold on...her husband responded no to the wedding; his reason for not attending - he usually doesn't attend these family functions. That's fine, but did you really expect to RSVP no to my wedding and yes to the rehearsal dinner??????

I text her to clarify because I got an RSVP no to the wedding; she said that's true but he's coming to the RD. I told her he wasn't accomodated - and will not be.

I'm sorry but I'm really pissed about this; her responsibility in the WP was to buy a dress and show up....right? She didn't even manage to do that and is wearing a dress of her choice because she wanted to stand out from the WP. I've been holding my tongue throughout this process but this is too close to the end of my rope.

littleluckypenny

So sorry.   She sounds like nothing but drama as I know you have vented about her numerous times.  She/They really have some nerve!  Why on earth would he even want to come to the RD and not the wedding?  That doesn't make any sense!

Try to make it 18 more days then unleash your wrath.

julbgordo

I do think it's strange that he will attend the RD but not the wedding, however since I'm guessing he was invited to both, it's his prerogative to accept or deny any invitation.  Maybe since RD's are typically less formal and smaller gatherings then the wedding, he feels more comfortable and would like to participate in some way.

This is one that I would let roll off your back.  -- Unless if he wasn't invited to the RD (strange as well) and he is attending sans invite, then it's worth a conversation with MOH.

Good luck!  You're almost there 

Ash61612

wow. I agree with Julie, I would just let this one roll off your back. Don't let her issues ruin your special day.

melntaitt

He was invited to the wedding but his reason for not coming was that he doesn't like to attend our family gatherings. I've had sooo many issues with this woman that this one is pushing my close to the edge.

I feel better this morning, but I haven't changed my mind. He was invited to the wedding and said no, so he wasn't invited to the RD. Tihs was just so absurd and irritating.

MoonlightSilver

Etiquette says people should be invited to events with their SO. It might be annoying that he chose to decline the wedding invitation, but you shouldn't punish him or your MOH (who should be your best friend, right??) for it. Perhaps he had a medical condition or an illness that prevents him from attending events like weddings, and he just doesn't want to tell you about it. 

Personally, I'd let him attend the RD- no need to cause more drama by kicking him out. 

khines18

I fully agree with Moonlight. It may not be what you want, but it will more than likely lead to less drama for him to come to RD. If not, she'll have a fresh mess hanging over you both on your WD. Get through the wedding wkd and then discuss what upset you. She's been through planning, unless she eloped. I'm sure she'll understand where you are coming from.
As for the dress, I'da put my foot down then. This is YOUR wedding. With that said, it's still a fine line to walk.

Best wishes!

melntaitt

Oh sweetie it's much more than that. To clarify, I'll give you some background:

1. MOH chose the dress and didn't understand why I had to run it by the others. Thankfully they all loved it but then she changed her mind and canceled the order.

2. She no-showed at the bridal shower feigning illness; later she was tagged at a wine tour with her friends.

3. She tried to get my mother to pay for her share of the cost of my bachelorette party. When my mother refused, she told the host I didn't need a b-party and they should cancel.

4. She called me up one night and started yelling (I'm still not sure what provoked it) about my dress and why she didn't think I should spend so much on it. She reminded me she got her dress on clearance from a Chinese knock off store for $118 and I was just showing off.

Those are just the 4 things in the last 3 months. This has been going on for close to 15 months now; saying I've reached the end of my rope is putting it lightly. I've tried to meet up with her and hang - NWR stuff just for time with the kids but she won't see me. This is the hill I'm dying on.

khines18

She sounds super selfish. I think I'da been done with her already!