Gender Free Baby... WTF

diamondx423

Did anyone else hear about this?

http://healthland.time.com/2011/05/25/gender-free-is-it-okay-for-parents-to-keep-their-babys-sex-a-secret/

... speechless

julbgordo

Yep.  I don't really know how I feel about it.  I guess it's the parents choice, but I feel like the kid might resent them in the future.  

midgetthemighty

Yup, I was posting/mostly lurking in the post about it on another board a few days ago.

I think they're going to wind up creating a confused child as opposed to what they really want. I feel that the better way to go about it all is to not enforce stereotypical gender roles on them. If a boy wants to wear pink and play with barbies and dress up clothes, let them. If a girl wants to play sports, ride dirt bikes, and dress "like a boy" let them. Their gender will remain the same regardless.

diamondx423

I think the parents are BSC. They have two older boys that know the gender of the baby and make them keep it a secret. Kids love to be honest, and essentially the parents are telling them to lie. Not a fan...

midgetthemighty

Terrible at acronyms...what's BSC?

And lying is not a good trait to be teaching your children. I'm actually suprised it hasn't leaked yet from them.

TeamMoriarty

i think it's getting blown out of proportion, which is maybe what they wanted.  i don't want to assume it's just a publicity stunt, but who knows?  and i think they won't raise the child entirely like this, i think it's just while the child is an infant.  at least i hope so.  i mean, i admit that i don't want my little girl to only wear pink or my little boy, blue, but this whole thing is kind of wacky.

diamondx423

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_gender-baby-wtf?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:b6917cab-5d1f-4ec3-be4d-69fba33b3c45Post:a9acbb27-fc09-43fe-b24c-27e174fc3da5">Re: Gender Free Baby... WTF</a>:
[QUOTE]Terrible at acronyms...what's BSC? Posted by midgetthemighty[/QUOTE]

bat sh!t crazy

AnnaKay12

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_gender-baby-wtf?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:b6917cab-5d1f-4ec3-be4d-69fba33b3c45Post:d7110f00-56db-4ace-9e1a-8487db987c20">Re: Gender Free Baby... WTF</a>:
[QUOTE]I feel that the better way to go about it all is to not enforce stereotypical gender roles on them. If a boy wants to wear pink and play with barbies and dress up clothes, let them. If a girl wants to play sports, ride dirt bikes, and dress "like a boy" let them.
Posted by midgetthemighty[/QUOTE]

THIS!

I also think the parents are confusing sex and gender. Baby "Storm" is anatomically whatever sex her or she was born. That's not going to change by keeping his or her sex a secret. Gender roles, on the other hand, are socially constructed and I agree with that midget said above with respect to that. This whole article just boggled my mind. Geesh.

diamondx423

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_gender-baby-wtf?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:b6917cab-5d1f-4ec3-be4d-69fba33b3c45Post:00daccc6-4be7-404c-bae2-746682f94969">Re: Gender Free Baby... WTF</a>:
[QUOTE]i think it's getting blown out of proportion, which is maybe what they wanted.  i don't want to assume it's just a publicity stunt, but who knows?  and i think they won't raise the child entirely like this, i think it's just while the child is an infant.  at least i hope so.  i mean, i admit that i don't want my little girl to only wear pink or my little boy, blue, but this whole thing is kind of wacky.
Posted by TeamMoriarty[/QUOTE]

it might be a publicity stunt, and if it is that makes the story even more sick. poor kid is going to need a lot of therapy.

AnnaKay12

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_gender-baby-wtf?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:b6917cab-5d1f-4ec3-be4d-69fba33b3c45Post:1aee8e98-3ee1-4c54-8ef6-b2a0af72153e">Re: Gender Free Baby... WTF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Gender Free Baby... WTF : it might be a publicity stunt, and if it is that makes the story even more sick. poor kid is going to need a lot of therapy.
Posted by diamondx423[/QUOTE]

Oh no. Not another one, like "Botox Mom."

midgetthemighty

Annakay...they are definately confusing sex and gender.

I hope it's not just a publicity stunt but I wouldn't put it past people.


Edit - I was thinking BSC had something to do with being crazy. Thanks!

niecie_jeff

Wow, I am just speechless over this. When I have children, my girls wont wear all pink and my boy all blue, but to keep it a secret is pretty sad. And the fact that the older brothers know and are being forced to not tell the truth is really sad. 

CvilleClaire

When I was younger, I remember reading a short story about a baby that was raised the same way.  I wish I could remember what it was called!  I don't even think the sex of the child was revealed at the end of the story.  Hm.

I'm all for resisting the over-the-top girly or manly stereotypes on children.  I wouldn't go this far, but whatever works for their family...

TeamMoriarty

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_gender-baby-wtf?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:b6917cab-5d1f-4ec3-be4d-69fba33b3c45Post:86947d2e-8a0c-4e24-9d06-f394d139b047">Re: Gender Free Baby... WTF</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow, I am just speechless over this. When I have children, my girls wont wear all pink and my boy all blue, but to keep it a secret is pretty sad. <strong>And the fact that the older brothers know and are being forced to not tell the truth is really sad. 
Posted by niecie_jeff[/QUOTE]
</strong>
i think this has got to be one of the worst parts about it.  how tough that must be for those small boys!

mary9449

I saw this the other day and think it's the most ridiculous thing ever!

sweetcanadian1979

Wow just wow

diamondx423

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_gender-baby-wtf?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:b6917cab-5d1f-4ec3-be4d-69fba33b3c45Post:7eb3eb87-f8f7-4a0b-89df-f94c4e164716">Re: Gender Free Baby... WTF</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>When I was younger, I remember reading a short story about a baby that was raised the same way</strong>.  I wish I could remember what it was called!  I don't even think the sex of the child was revealed at the end of the story.  Hm. I'm all for resisting the over-the-top girly or manly stereotypes on children.  I wouldn't go this far, but whatever works for their family...
Posted by CvilleClaire[/QUOTE]

In one article I saw on these people, they got the idea from a fictional book. Probably the same one...

AnnaKay12

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_gender-baby-wtf?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:b6917cab-5d1f-4ec3-be4d-69fba33b3c45Post:28a973b3-4bb8-439c-b764-bc88819394ad">Re: Gender Free Baby... WTF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Gender Free Baby... WTF : In one article I saw on these people, <strong>they got the idea from a fictional book</strong>. Probably the same one...
Posted by diamondx423[/QUOTE]

*speechless*

midgetthemighty

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_gender-baby-wtf?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:b6917cab-5d1f-4ec3-be4d-69fba33b3c45Post:28a973b3-4bb8-439c-b764-bc88819394ad">Re: Gender Free Baby... WTF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Gender Free Baby... WTF : In one article I saw on these people, they got the idea from a fictional book. Probably the same one...
Posted by diamondx423[/QUOTE]

I didn't realize the book they got the idea out of was <u>fictional! </u>I think I read the same article though because I remember them mentioning a book of some kind, but I thought it was some kind of "scientific study". This whole situation just got even more ridiculous if that's possible.

zeke17us

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_gender-baby-wtf?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:b6917cab-5d1f-4ec3-be4d-69fba33b3c45Post:066cf58a-c42f-40d2-8ba0-f3992cdbfe5f">Re: Gender Free Baby... WTF</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow just wow
Posted by sweetcanadian1979[/QUOTE]

<div>This!</div>

CvilleClaire

I found the story.  It was read to me at camp...but it's from a 1975 issue of Ms. magazine (which has long been out of print, but was a major mag when I was little).

It's only on the web as a PDF...a FOUR PAGE story.   Hee hee!  Here's a google preview of the PDF (this should make it should up the screen and not make you download it):http://bit.ly/iHduRM

It's called the Story of X. 

leah2489

Yeah, this left me speechless. I don't understand how no one has found out! Do they never go on a date and leave the kids with a babysitter? And what about the other poor boys, making them keep a secret like that is just cruel. I have a feeling this is going to backfire on them in the long run.

michellep1

I agree with both of AnnaKay and midget's initial responses.  They are definitely confusing sex and gender; and I believe the more appropriate way to raise the child is to not force certain roles on them.  I very clearly remember this little yellow dump truck toy that my sister and I had in our sandbox growing up; my mom didn't want us to think that it was only OK to play with girly toys.  We both turned out very girly anyway, but I loved that dump truck!

I also think that this little experiment is NOT going to work.  Since the child's siblings know what gender it is, there's no way they can stop themselves from treating it as their brother/sister, whichever it is.  Kids don't understand the overall concept that the parents are trying to prevent, and I'm sure they'll find it very hard not to treat their youngest sibling as whatever gender it is.

DrPB2b13

I think it's an interesting concept, but with the way our society is it won't fly.  As far as whether the kid will need therapy, I think that's a rather harsh judgment - it's a nutso concept in our culture, but overall I don't think it will cause much harm unless they refuse to let the child pick a gender preference when it gets older.

This does remind me of a story one of my psych profs told us in class, though.  A married couple of psych professors from her undergrad attempted to raise their children in a gender-neutral environment.  The son could wear pink with barrettes in his hair if he wanted to, the girl was allowed to be as tomboyish as she wanted.  And to top it all off, EVERY children's book that came into the house had every gender pronoun blacked out, and replaced with "He or she" and "her or him" and "his or hers."

Ultimately, the kids grew up totally normal, though when they got to school there were a couple of issues where they actually believed "HE-OR-SHE" et al. was a pronoun in itself.

MaryLaura13

I dont think the use of a child is the way anyone should make a political statement! How do they know this child won't fit into the gender role.. it is very confusing. I agree with what PP's said about not forcing gneder roles, but its not fair to make a child who has not established a personality of its own into this craziness! Some people should be screened before having children!

Danidawn20

I think this is weird

MMRoberts11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_gender-baby-wtf?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:b6917cab-5d1f-4ec3-be4d-69fba33b3c45Post:22119b24-f783-4906-ad1e-ca620a80bba4">Re: Gender Free Baby... WTF</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it's an interesting concept, but with the way our society is it won't fly.  As far as whether the kid will need therapy, I think that's a rather harsh judgment - it's a nutso concept in our culture, but overall I don't think it will cause much harm unless they refuse to let the child pick a gender preference when it gets older. This does remind me of a story one of my psych profs told us in class, though.  A married couple of psych professors from her undergrad attempted to raise their children in a gender-neutral environment.  The son could wear pink with barrettes in his hair if he wanted to, the girl was allowed to be as tomboyish as she wanted.  And to top it all off, EVERY children's book that came into the house had every gender pronoun blacked out, and replaced with "He or she" and "her or him" and "his or hers." Ultimately, the kids grew up totally normal, though when they got to school there were a couple of issues where they actually believed "HE-OR-SHE" et al. was a pronoun in itself.
Posted by DrPB2b13[/QUOTE]

I know psych profs who basically did the same thing and their kids are fine.  I think though that some people try to be gender-neutral to encourage their kids to develop their own interests, and many studies have been done to show the advantages/disadvantages, etc.  However, most people in today's society should not recreated things like this because their are so many outside factors that they may not always consider and then their child can have confusion growing up.

Cassandra999

i assume when the kid is old enough to ask about it, they will have to tell it and the whole thing will be over.  Or the other kids will spill it at some point.  Hopefully it won't mess the kid up too much.  

I agree about not forcing gender stereotypes on children, letting them be themselves.  It's society that they cannot change as easily as their own children.