I have read some posts on here and found them very helpful, but like all of the other brides it is so hard to narrow down guests lists with FMIL's being pushy and parents wanting to invite everyone they know.
So my question is really this, with some background. My FI and I currently live in Dallas but are moving to Tennessee next month and our wedding is in Nashville. Our venue only holds up to 135 guests, which being a destination wedding with only us living in the state we don't expect a ton of people. My FMIL and FFIL want to invite just about every relative they have ever had, and THEN a ton of people from their church. I had them fill out a spreadsheet of A list, and B list guests and 80% were A list, even people my FI says he has met sparsely. BUT my FMIL added a row to my spreadsheet to make notes on if the people would attend or not........ Most were a No, but still our guest list will be well above 135 and I don't think etiquette is to send invites to everyone you. They both claim it's so these people send gifts, which I don't much care about, that's now why I'm having a wedding.
I saw a previous post that said assume all guests will show up and only send invitiations enough for guests and I agree, but my FMIL and FFIL say it's rude to not invite their ENTIRE extended family and church family, even when they know they won't make the trip.
How in the world does someone handle this situation without completely going off on the FMIL and FFIL?