Registry WDYT

maritimebride2012

Ok s most of you know I work in retail and we have a bridal regisrty at our store.  We do have a large selection of "everyday" stuff so that's not the part that I find odd.  What I found weird is that brides can register for their toasting flutes, server sets, guest books, etc.  How do you feel about registering for those things? 

IMO, I think they should be stuff that's included in your budget, instead of asking guest to buy them, since they'll pretty much only be used for the wedding. 
WDYT? 

Rethany

I personally would never buy someone those.

I have heard that etiquette suggests the MOH is supposed to buy the toasting flutes etc for the bride and groom.  I would personally never just expect my MOH to know that or buy them though.  It would be something they would need to suggest or talk about before I just put them on my registry.  Also, if they tell me they want to buy them I would just tell them what I want, not put it on the registry for other people to possibly purchase.

So I can see why they would put them on there for people in their bridal party or mothers to purchase for them.  I just wouldn't assume that.  If they are interested in buying these items for me, they can ask me which ones I want.

DodgersBride

I don't think you should register for those. I also don't think it is anyone's responsibility to buy those thing except the bride and groom. Those items should be included in the wedding budget.

sprtychick10

I would never register for those items. I think it looks tacky.

MMRoberts11

I also would never register for those items and agree, they should be items that the bride and groom have included in their budget.  If the MOB, MOG, MOH, or whoever chooses to buy them, then they should be removed from the budget.  This is one of those etiquette things that I don't understand.

DrPB2b13

I don't understand why someone would register for those in the first place.  Even if someone chooses to purchase them for you, what if they don't think to give it to you before the wedding?  Then you're left either without toasting flutes/guestbook/cake servers for your wedding day,  or you buy your own last minute and then you've got a second set that you open in the days/weeks AFTER your wedding - things that, in this case, are personalized and engraved, and depending on where they came from are non-returnable.

This just seems like a bad decision all around.

sweetcanadian1979

i think that is totally weird, do people actually do that?

Rethany

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_registry-wdyt?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:cc8f861d-b21d-410f-9b97-47d68c60fde3Post:5749ada3-66fa-43fd-8fa5-3b83d960e6e5">Re: Registry WDYT</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't understand why someone would register for those in the first place.  Even if someone chooses to purchase them for you, <strong>what if they don't think to give it to you before the wedding?</strong>  Then you're left either without toasting flutes/guestbook/cake servers for your wedding day,  or you buy your own last minute and then you've got a second set that you open in the days/weeks AFTER your wedding - things that, in this case, are personalized and engraved, and depending on where they came from are non-returnable. This just seems like a bad decision all around.
Posted by DrPB2b13[/QUOTE]

I was thinking if they decided to buy it for you (which still seems weird to me) they would do it at the shower.  I've seen a mother buy their daughter's guest book that they really wanted and give it to them at the shower.

ETA:  I'm also not saying that I would do something like this.  If someone offered to buy me it...that's fine but I fully intend on buying these things myself.

doeie04

I think the only reason to put them on there would be in hopes of getting them for your shower. That's all I can think of.

I personally wouldn't put them on my list. It would be part of the wedding stuff we buy.

sleblanc72

I agree with PP's that it should not go on the registry and should be put into your wedding budget.  If someone wants to get them as a gift and tells you so then great but otherwise I wouldn't think it as something you would actually ask for.

julbgordo

I've never heard of them being put on a registry either.  My mom bought them for my SILs shower, but SIL didn't have a bridal party or anything and probably never even thought about purchasing those items for herself.  I think it was nice coming from my mom (MOG), especially since she got them engraved with their wedding date.  I think it should be included within the general wedding budget though.

DrPB2b13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_registry-wdyt?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:cc8f861d-b21d-410f-9b97-47d68c60fde3Post:62ca9175-fdbf-45a3-acfd-b608f7d99d58">Re: Registry WDYT</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Registry WDYT : I was thinking if they decided to buy it for you (which still seems weird to me) they would do it at the shower.  I've seen a mother buy their daughter's guest book that they really wanted and give it to them at the shower.
Posted by spiffycoolbeans[/QUOTE]

That I can understand, but putting it on your registry you're still running the risk of a "random" guest purchasing it to give to you for your wedding.  I would hope that guests would put more thought into their gifts (even off of a registry), but I can think of an awful lot of men I know (FI, several guy friends, my dad and my brother) who would pick it just because it's the first thing they came across in their price range.

IMO if it's a family tradition that someone gets you those things, or someone offers to purchase one or more for you, you're going to be far better off showing them the specific items, not putting them on your registry.

MaryLaura13

My mom bought me our toasting flutes for Christmas and FMIL bought me our serving set for Christmas. They both knew what I wanted and bought them for me. I bought my guest book myself.

But I did not feel it was odd that they bought it for me.

Carrie1208

I would never think to register for those items, for all the reasons you girls said. It just seems like a normal thing that you would include in your wedding budget. I also don't think I would ever purchase those items for a bride that I wasn't very close to because I woudn't want to mess up a tradition that they may have - the girls in my WP and I gave my MOH Swarski (sp?) toasting flutes because she really wanted them, and then when another friend in the WP got married we did the same thing, so that became our tradition with our group of friends. Even though it has been sort of a tradition we started I am not assuming they are getting them for me and would never register for them.

Melissa603

I wouldn't put them on the registry but I have seen them given at the shower. Many times mothers or BMs will find something unique. My cousins also used their toasting flutes as their something borrowed. 

Purple&7

I agree I don't think you should register for those. They should be included in your wedding budget.

SSaltzman87

I wouldn't register for those things either. I think most toasting flutes are ugly anyway, plus those are just things I would expect FI and I to buy-not someone else.

maritimebride2012

We usually get people coming in to purchase them for showers, and if ti's a family tradition, I understand.  But to register for them seems odd to me somehow, like if you can't afford them yoiurself, get a cheaper set, don't expect your guests to buy them for you.  I admit I gave a bride the side eye today when she admitted she was registering for them so she wouldn'thave to worry about buying them for herself and could spend more money on flowers/

TeamMoriarty

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_registry-wdyt?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:cc8f861d-b21d-410f-9b97-47d68c60fde3Post:60790fe3-b08a-4b6c-9920-95659326a42a">Re: Registry WDYT</a>:
[QUOTE]We usually get people coming in to purchase them for showers, and if ti's a family tradition, I understand.  But to register for them seems odd to me somehow, like if you can't afford them yoiurself, get a cheaper set, don't expect your guests to buy them for you.  I admit I gave a bride the side eye today when she admitted she was registering for them so she wouldn'thave to worry about buying them for herself and could spend more money on flowers/
Posted by maritimebride2012[/QUOTE]

haha!  that's awesome!

Tiffany6912

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_registry-wdyt?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:cc8f861d-b21d-410f-9b97-47d68c60fde3Post:042954e2-ab87-4885-919a-41f11cedbfd8">Re: Registry WDYT</a>:
[QUOTE]i think that is totally weird, do people actually do that?
Posted by sweetcanadian1979[/QUOTE]

They do.  FI's sister's registry has her guest book, guest book pens, serving set, toasting flutes AND card box!  I made a big deal over it to FI when I saw that on hers, glad I'm not the only one! (He agrees, weird.)

When my MOH got married, it was not on her registry but I did get the toasting flutes for her as part of her shower gift.  I discussed it with her before doing it though to make sure someone else had not already given it to her.

My grandmother bought us our toasting flutes after I mentioned that I saw ones I loved.  My mom then bought the matching serving set for us.

michellep1

The only thing I would register for out of that bunch is the cake servers, because I actually need cake servers!  I'm not very preoccupied with what cake servers we use at the wedding, I think our venue has ones we can use.  So if I registered for ones that I thought would be acceptable to use at the wedding, and I got them as a shower gift, then I might use them at the wedding.  However, I wouldn't use them at the wedding if I got them as a wedding gift in advance, since I think that might be tacky.  I'm not going to register for cake servers that I wouldn't use in normal entertaining though, just to use them at the wedding.