No one hosting my shower..

mbishop7

I live in the middle of Arkansas, where I came to school and met my FI. I am from and we are getting married in Northwest Arkansas. Because of this, we are having two bridal showers... one in the middle of Arkansas for my friends down here and his family, and one of there for friends and family up there.

My MOH has already said she would host the shower in Northwest Arkansas, where she lives, however no one down here has suggested hosting my bridal shower here. Everyone knows that we were planning on hosting the two showers because of the distance (all bridal party, family). My FI and I talked about having it at a bakery in town that the Best Man is the head baker at and it has been okay-ed... but no one has still said they would host it?

My FI's family, if you guys remember, isn't the greatest and I doubt they even know that they can/should/are able to host a shower. The three bridesmaids that live down here have yet to say anything to me. What should I do? Can I host my own? 

LindzMarie19

Since you have already picked the venue for the shower yourself, people probably assume you are gonna host it yourself. I am having a shower back in my hometown where we are getting married and my mom is hosting it. I'm letting her come up with all the ideas herself and just okaying them as we go along since she is the host.

I would feel weird  hosting my own shower, but I personally wouldn't think anything of it if someone hosted their own shower. If someone else didnt think to throw me a shower, i just wasn't going to have one, for money reasons.

Melissa603

Hosting your own shower is extremely poor etiquette. Showers are to shower the bride with gifts. Hosting your own looks very gift grabby and side-eye. 

No one has to host you a shower, if no one offers, you don't get one. 

kelsey+brandon

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_no-one-hosting-my-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:dbe6fa26-967a-42cf-82fb-720c8b616a90Post:e4bd0a09-aaab-4ef6-aca3-1393b5f4355e">Re: No one hosting my shower..</a>:
[QUOTE]Hosting your own shower is extremely poor etiquette. Showers are to shower the bride with gifts. Hosting your own looks very gift grabby and side-eye.  No one has to host you a shower, if no one offers, you don't get one. 
Posted by Melissa603[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I completely agree. It is very poor etiquette and you should throw your own shower, nor can you ask anyone to throw a shower for you.

</div>

mashavoo

It's very strange hosting ur own shower.....if no one offers to do a shower for you....then i agree with the others then you don't get one....it's like having a party, you don't ask someone to throw a birthday party for you....i guess you'll have to be satisfied with the one your getting....be glad ur getting one...i've heard of some brides not having one..many!

im not having bridesmaids..so i wasn't exspecting a shower...but one of my good friends along with my mom volunteered....so i'm surprised cause i wasn't exspecting anything....so be happy with the one that your getting....peace

mbishop7

I wasn't planning on hosting my own. I was simply asking about what that etiquette was. We have had guests ASK about the shower down here, so that's why I just assumed we would have one at both. Don't get your panties in a bunch girls, geez.

I talked with my mom and she is going to talk with my FMIL about hosting one together, because my mom agreed that we shouldn't ask guests to drive three hours to a bridal shower. 

chelseamb11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_no-one-hosting-my-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:dbe6fa26-967a-42cf-82fb-720c8b616a90Post:395113af-c29a-4bf1-9965-00bb009bae83">Re: No one hosting my shower..</a>:
[QUOTE]I wasn't planning on hosting my own. I was simply asking about what that etiquette was. We have had guests ASK about the shower down here, so that's why I just assumed we would have one at both. <strong>Don't get your panties in a bunch girls, geez</strong>. I talked with my mom and she is going to talk with my FMIL about hosting one together, because my mom agreed that we shouldn't ask guests to drive three hours to a bridal shower. 
Posted by mbishop7[/QUOTE]

Nobody was getting their panties in a bunch.  You asked about the etiquette, people answered about the etiquette.

littleluckypenny

Sorry, if no one has offered, you don't get a shower.  You cannot host your own shower, it's bad etiquette and would definitely be side-eyed.

sweet_melissa81

Is there any way you can have your fiance talk to his mother about throwing you a shower closer to wear his family lives? Maybe she hasn't even thought about it, but would love to do it for you. He is her son, so I'm sure if he explained to her that she might be considerate enough to plan something for you both. Nevertheless, one shower is better than no shower!

sweet_melissa81

You could even have the baker host it for you both. You could have him say it was a gift for the two of you! Or if you fiance's family cannot financially afford it, the baker could help them out and they could help plan shower games and buy favors from the dollar store or something so they feel like they're helping. Or have your mom say she is hosting it, could she travel there?

mashavoo

i hope it all works out for you and you get what you want...

mbishop7

I talked to my mom today. She is gonna mention about having one here with my FI's mom. I agree, I think my FMIL would love to host one for me, but she has very little "wedding experience" and probably doesn't even know what a wedding shower is! (honestly!!)

Thanks guys.

julbgordo

I agree that you shouldn't host your own shower.  If your mom and FMIL will be doing it together, then great!  Honestly though, I just had my shower yesterday and had many guests travel several hours for it ... many more then 3 hours.  It depends on your group though and I can understand wanting one closer to where your guests are.

Ash61612

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_no-one-hosting-my-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:dbe6fa26-967a-42cf-82fb-720c8b616a90Post:68903143-9e04-4522-9d58-618c2f240536">Re: No one hosting my shower..</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: No one hosting my shower.. : <strong>Nobody was getting their panties in a bunch.  You asked about the etiquette, people answered about the etiquette.
</strong>Posted by chelseamb11[/QUOTE]

agree, you asked what we thought and I agree with the post where is is rude for you to hose the shower. No one was getting their panties in a twist, they were just being honest