I thought we finalized the guest list......

Carebear62584

.....until my aunt called me today and said she and my mom were talking last night and there are some people we have to add.  My MOH's in-laws have to be added as well as my cousin's (her son's) 4 in-laws because his brilliant wife mentioned to her mom that she would be getting an invitation.  We may also have to add my brother's friend's parents because his mom has been so excited about my wedding, my dad's friend and his wife, and my mom's friend (L) she used to work with for a very long time.  My parents weren't invited to her daughter's wedding but my mom feels like she should invite "L" because "L"s sister happens to be FI's aunt.  Small world.

This is now 12 more people we have to add!  FI's mom/stepdad and my parents are splitting the reception and each paying for 100 people.  It's a good thing my parents already told FI's parents that they are paying for anyone extra since they are on my side.

doeie04

Ugh. I would be irritated. I hate it when people (not for my wedding, but other peoples) invite other people and tell you that they have to be invited because they said something already. I think it wasn't their place and they can un-invite them if the B and G don't want to add them.

chelseamb11

Honestly, you aren't out of line for not inviting them anyway.  Talk to whoever extended the unwarranted invitations and say that you cannot accomodate more people and they need to clarify it to the people they invited.

Carebear62584

I actually grew up with my cousin's wife but honestly she's not my favorite person.  I think she thinks it's a free for-all because they had a 250 person minimum for their venue so they invited anyone and everyone.  And I didn't want any kids besides the kids in my wedding party and my cousins that are doing the blessing and handing out programs, but this same cousin happens to be due a week before my wedding so she will have to bring the baby.  I'm not upset about that because obviously she has to feed him, but still.....she better not be thinking their almost 2 year old daughter is coming because she definitely is not!

daria24

I feel your pain-my FMIL emailed me today saying her SISTER had someone to add to the guest list. FI and are paying for the whole wedding ourselves and my FiLs have offered us money but we wanted a small wedding. I just can't get it into her head that its not about the money, it's about is wanting to celebrate with just our close friends and family-not his father's cousins that he sees once every 5 years or his aunt's friends! I just can't wait to mail out the invites so that the guest list is final. Any chance your fMIl will listen to reason if you say that you appreciate them offering to pay more but your guest list is set?

Carebear62584

It's my aunt that told me we had to add her kids' in-laws!  They were on my questionable list to begin with and I think my mom feels bad not inviting them.  And she's the one paying so I guess she has the say..

DrPB2b13

That is frustrating!

If your mother is the one paying, however, and she's okay with it, then all you can do is go along.  That's really presumptuous though, for your cousin's wife to tell her in-laws that they're invited.

calisel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddingchannel.com/main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_thought-finalized-guest-list?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:e6fcfe4f-a9a8-442b-a431-e1efeda379faPost:077ab2de-9993-4b4a-9df8-37e3623d0f3f">Re: I thought we finalized the guest list......</a>:
[QUOTE]Ugh. I would be irritated. I hate it when people (not for my wedding, but other peoples) invite other people and tell you that they have to be invited because they said something already. I think it wasn't their place and they can un-invite them if the B and G don't want to add them.
Posted by doeie04[/QUOTE]



I had a similar problem. My dad wanted a few more of his cousins added. I really do not mind, however we didn't fit it in the budget. My dad then said he would pay any extra for the people we had to add.

I have a big family. If one person gets added I feel the obligation to add everyone else. But since we were only inviting first cousins it worked out fine. That was until my dad wanted others invited too.

melntaitt

I get it...believe me I get it.

Don't add them if you can't afford to add more spots; keep in mind it opens the door to their next door neighbor's nephew and his wife with their four year old being invited as well.

kelsey+brandon

What the heck! And why did your aunt and not your mom call you?! All those people sound so loosely related to you that I wouldn't add them. Do you even know them?! FI and I aren't invited anyone to our wedding that at least one of us don't personally know.

Zimsgirl

I would be so annoyed. I wouldn't invite someone else's in laws

Hilraythebride

Ugh, thats annoying. I would make it clear that this is the last addition and be sure to get the invites out ASAP or just act like you did!

At least they are willing to pay for anyone over the intial count!

Carebear62584

I do know them, that's the problem.  My cousin's wife and I grew up in a small town (graduating classes were about 100) so our parents were friends way back in the day.  Then her parents got divorced and are now married/dating other people but we do see them for my cousin's family events.  They also live right around the corner from my brother's best friend's parents (who also want to know every detail of my wedding and have hinted at invitations....their son got married in Nov. and we were all invited).

As for my MOH's in-laws....whenever holidays are at my aunt's or cousin's house, they also come so I guess they are tied into most family functions.  My aunt had a jewelry party 2 weeks ago and my cousin's MIL was very interested in all of the details of my wedding.

Then my dad and my mom of course have the right to invite their own friends.  All of these people were on my inital list, but I had cut them out when we were cutting people.  I guess they made it back on.  I haven't gotten to talk to my mom about it yet, but I will.