Married without the license?

melntaitt

I stole this from the Ceremony board and I was curious if any of you ladies (and gent) out there had heard of it or considered it:

http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_state-marriage-license

Basically what does this entail? If you write your own ceremony, that's one thing but I wasn't sure if it was possible to be actually married in any state without the state issued license...any thoughts?

hose85

Strange, marriage is a legal status and if you don't do it legally then why get married? right?

chelseakopperud

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_married-without-the-license?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:ecccfc3d-b41f-47ac-bdac-549f22b840ecPost:41bc46b5-8b9a-483b-9f16-c92408687836">Re: Married without the license?</a>:
[QUOTE]Strange, marriage is a legal status and if you don't do it legally then why get married? right?
Posted by hose85[/QUOTE]

Marriage for most Christians is a covenant between the couple and God.... the state liscence is just a formality.

To me, getting married is not about the state... it is about my covenant with God, however, I want the state to recognize my marriage, so we will be doing the liscense.

hose85

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_married-without-the-license?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:ecccfc3d-b41f-47ac-bdac-549f22b840ecPost:36b1e267-365c-4aba-b180-29a6732b1ac9">Re: Married without the license?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Married without the license? : Marriage for most Christians is a covenant between the couple and God.... the state liscence is just a formality. To me, getting married is not about the state... it is about my covenant with God, however, I want the state to recognize my marriage, so we will be doing the liscense.
Posted by chelseakopperud[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>yes, I agree with this! It is for me too but what my point was that we live in a country that is guided by G-d given principles, and having a marriage legalized is an act of walking that out. So why take one step and not the rest? Does that make sense?

</div>

chelseakopperud

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_married-without-the-license?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:ecccfc3d-b41f-47ac-bdac-549f22b840ecPost:c149d73b-596f-4faa-bca5-5d73c51c38ea">Re: Married without the license?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Married without the license? : yes, I agree with this! It is for me too but what my point was that we live in a country that is guided by G-d given principles, and having a marriage legalized is an act of walking that out. So why take one step and not the rest? Does that make sense?
Posted by hose85[/QUOTE]

Yep and I TOTALLY agree with you! It seems kind of silly..... unless in the state they are in they can write their own liscense and it will be recognized.... I dont know. It just seems weird to me! My biggest concern for them would be employers not recognizing them as married for health insurance and they wouldnt get the tax break.... why wouldnt you want that!?! But again.... maybe in their state they can do that and it works.. I have no idea!

littleluckypenny

If it is not recognized legally, what happens when there is some sort of emergency? You or your FI won't have any say in any legal action, whether it is a medical emergency or insurance, etc.

TRUE STORY:  I actually know of a couple who say they are married because they wanted a spiritual committment, not a legal one. They said vows to each other and everything. Fast forward when they were having a child and she was ready to deliver, the hospital didn't really deal with her "husband" and they wouldn't really answer any questions regarding his "wife" because as far as they were concerned, they weren't married and he had no grounds for information regarding his SO.

The friend felt really bad, like they were treating him like a "baby-daddy", which technically, he was in the eyes of the hospital.

Something to think about.

melntaitt

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_married-without-the-license?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:ecccfc3d-b41f-47ac-bdac-549f22b840ecPost:2d0df052-a720-4c13-b268-2f1f1aa84e07">Re: Married without the license?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Married without the license? : Yep and I TOTALLY agree with you! It seems kind of silly..... unless in the state they are in they can write their own liscense and it will be recognized.... I dont know. It just seems weird to me! My biggest concern for them would be employers not recognizing them as married for health insurance and they wouldnt get the tax break.... why wouldnt you want that!?! B<strong>ut again.... maybe in their state they can do that and it works</strong>.. I have no idea!
Posted by chelseakopperud[/QUOTE]

It doesn't and I've checked the IRS websites and SS because it really intrigued me; I am still of the opinion that the state shouldn't be involved, but the state directs everything that you need to be recognized as a social unit. I get that it's a personal choice but I would be concerned because of the same reason homosexual couples fight for the right to marry.

Although it's a little sad, that little piece of paper is what truly identifies you as a social unit. Against scrutiny to employers, the IRS, etc. simply a couple saying they're married isn't enough to hold water.

chelseakopperud

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_married-without-the-license?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:ecccfc3d-b41f-47ac-bdac-549f22b840ecPost:ad8de62c-450c-4707-a91a-3b027a09d967">Re: Married without the license?</a>:
[QUOTE]If it is not recognized legally, what happens when there is some sort of emergency? You or your FI won't have any say in any legal action, whether it is a medical emergency or insurance, etc. TRUE STORY :  I actually know of a couple who say they are married because they wanted a spiritual committment, not a legal one. They said vows to each other and everything. Fast forward when they were having a child and she was ready to deliver, the hospital didn't really deal with her "husband" and they wouldn't really answer any questions regarding his "wife" because as far as they were concerned, they weren't married and he had no grounds for information regarding his SO. The friend felt really bad, like they were treating him like a "baby-daddy", which technically, he was in the eyes of the hospital. Something to think about.
Posted by littleluckypenny[/QUOTE]

Great point!

MoonlightSilver

I think it's a horrible idea... you need the state recognized license to have health benefits, tax benefits, visiting and decision rights in emergency situations, etc. It seems really dangerous to not have that. 

Also, if she's going to have the Bible signed by herself, her FI, pastor & two witnesses, then take it to the courthouse... why not just do the same exact thing with the piece of paper the court recognizes?

kristin183

Pretty much the whole reason we are getting married is to get the License.
We are not religious; we have been together for 6 years and have been committed to each other the whole time. We wanted it for all the legal reasons... if something happens (emergency and what not) and for insurance benefits.

kristin183

Well and of course professing our love for each other in front of all our friends and family.

daria24

There's a whole slew of reasons this is a bad idea. Health benefits, taxes, spousal privilege, medical emergencies, inheritance rules, etc. And I don't see the point. 

Like Kristin, we aren't religious, that paper IS really important to us because it entails legal obligations and benefits we otherwise wouldn't have access to. 

melfacto

I agree with Chelsea, we are having a Sacramental marriage, really I could care less about the piece of paper we get for the Province (though we do need this for benefits, etc.), if we are not married in the Roman Catholic Church than in God's eyes we are not married as Catholics. FI's sister is getting married in Mexico, but also having a ceremony in the church when she gets home.

Megbo2012

Ditto Kristen, but we also feel that there is something different between husband/boyfriend etc the commitment will remain the same, because we were so serious...

I'm not explaining this well at ALL. 

tania0930

I think this is one of those things that can't be separation of church and state due to the overwhelming number of non-religious people who still have the right to be married.  I feel like it would be near impossible to separate those who only care about the covenant between themselves and God, and not the legality, and those who do not believe in a covenant and only care about the legality (and spending your life with your most fav. person! but people can do this without the title "married" if married didn't come with benefits...in the non-religious world).  Ok now I think I'm rambling and making less sense!

kristin183

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_married-without-the-license?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:ecccfc3d-b41f-47ac-bdac-549f22b840ecPost:2a7c712e-3d71-4eea-b5aa-513eb3830093">Re: Married without the license?</a>:
[QUOTE]Ditto Kristen, but we also feel that there is something different between husband/boyfriend etc the commitment will remain the same, because we were so serious... I'm not explaining this well at ALL. 
Posted by Megbo2012[/QUOTE]

Totally agree... when you say boyfriend no one takes it seriously and acts like it is a High School relationship or something. Husband is viewed so much differently.