Made it home safe! (Long sorry)

maritimebride2012

Hey everybody, \I'm back!  I had the most excellent time in ON!  I got home last night, and managed to avoid the snow(!) in ON but flew straight into a thunderstorm right before landing in Halifax.  FI surprised me at the airport, he had told me he was staying home to cook, but he actually came in with my friend.

R is HUGE!  Puberty is attacking him already lol.  He proudly showed me his new deoderant and I had to have a talk with him about washing his face properly now.  It was a perfect weekend in terms of his behaviour.  He has made leaps and bounds with his ODD.and his verbal tic from his Tourette's is gone!

But the best news is....it is officially in the planning stages to move R here to NS to a treatment center near me!  His social worker and iI had a very long discussion about it and I have some homework to do.  She also asked when the wedding was and said if he wasn't living here by then, then she will look into flying him out as opposed to me coming to ON for a visit!  When I told my favorite worker on his staff, she said she was volunteering to supervise him for the trip.  She and I had a meeting and she gave me a pep talk and said everyone on his staff said the visit was going great and they were only going to have positive things to say about my interaction with him and how I worked with the staff to maintain his consistency through the visit. (Routine is very important to R .  I guess some of the other parents don't cooperate with staff, try to change rules, act like they are in charge, etc.).

The only bad thig about the weekend was that my dad told me in his not so gentle way is that his cancer is not responding to treatment and to get his affairs in order.  My step-mom says she thinks he's just given up and she thinks he's ready to just fade away.  And I had a fight with my mom the last night I was there, but that was sort of a good thing because iI got a LOT of stuff off my chest.  She had started to get under my skin the minute I walked through the door practically, but we made up before I left.

So all in all, it was a fantastic vacation

sweetcanadian1979

I have been waiting on an update from you. I am soooooo glad the visit went awesome. It is snowing in Ontario right now? Wtf lol. I hope your son going to NS is a reality sooner rather than later. 

Is this the same dad that said he wouldn't go to your wedding because your nephew's grad is the week before? Sorry to hear about the cancer i was lucky and my dad is now cancer free. 

Glad you got things off your chest with your mom & that you made up before leaving

DrPB2b13

That's amazing about R!  I don't even know what to say, but I'm honestly incredibly happy for you.

I'm sorry to hear about your father, but I'm glad you got to have that discussion with him face-to-face.  And I understand about needing to get things off your chest with your mother...I've got a few myself, but I'd rather she didn't boycott my wedding, so I'll wait.

Seriously though, that really is incredible about R.  I look forward to more updates, I hope he keeps making great progress, and that the move to NS comes quickly and goes smoothly!

midgetthemighty

That is so exciting about R! With your wonderful support I'm sure he will continue to improve even more!

On the other hand, I am sorry to hear about your father and his cancer. It is nice though that you got to see him and not hear this news over the phone. I will keep him, you, and your family in my thoughts and prayers for this situation.

Keep us posted.

julbgordo

So glad to hear that you had a great time with R!  I know you were looking forward to this for quite a while and I'm really happy it all worked out.  Please keep us posted on how everything moves forward with him.

I am sorry to hear about your father.  I hope everything works out for the best.  Keep us posted on him as well.

MMRoberts11

I'm glad R is doing so well and you were able to spend time with him.  Please keep us posted on how everything goes.

I'm sorry about your father but I'm glad you had the conversation in person.  Please keep us posted on him as well.

sprtychick10

I am so glad the trip went as well as it did! It sounds like you had a great time with him! That was very sweet of FI to surprise you at the airport. I hate not having anyone waiting for me when I get off a plane.

I am sorry to hear about your dad. T & P's going out to your family during this rough time.

michellep1

That's so great about R and I hope he gets to be near you soon!  It's good that you were able to get everything off your chest with your mother and still leave on good terms; thats a sign of a strong relationship and its really great that you have that.

I'm sorry to hear about your father's cancer.  Its always so difficult when this happens to someone close to you.  I'll be keeping your family in my T&P.

TeamMoriarty

i am so happy for you!  it sounds like R is doing really well and making progress, that is awesome, congrats to both of you!  and how awesome that your favorite staff worker agreed to be his sponsor on the trip to your wedding if he's not already near you. 
as with PPs, i'm sorry to hear about your father's health, T&P with you and your entire family.  and so glad you were able to be honest with your mom and leave on good terms.  thanks for the update!

AnnaKay12

I'm glad to hear the trip went well. That's extremely exciting news about your son! I hope he'll be able to move closer very soon! Sounds like you had an amazing, well-deserved visit.

At the same time, I'll be keeping your father in my T&P through this difficult time.

maritimebride2012

Thanks for the T&P's ladies.  Yes sweet, it's the same dad.  2 moms, 1 dad lol.  As you can tell, our relationship isn't the greaest.  I have really mixed feelings about the news.  One thing that scares me is that he is not an AW and always downplays his illness so for him to actually come out and say something like that, I have to take it serious.
But since we've never been close, I think I am more upset that I will never get the opportunity to build a stronger bond, than I am that he will be gone.  And I know that I can never come clean with how I feel because really, how do you tell someone who's dying that you think he was a crappy father and nothing was ever good enough for his approval, and you think he's a douche when it comes to women.

But I am very psyched about R, and will keep everyone posted when I hear anything

DrPB2b13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_made-home-safe-long-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:f577d18c-32dc-48c8-b6a8-64cb05dce933Post:b8567897-2839-4b91-aaaa-9dd8c8271989">Re: Made it home safe! (Long sorry)</a>:
[QUOTE]But since we've never been close, I think I am more upset that I will never get the opportunity to build a stronger bond, than I am that he will be gone.  And I know that I can never come clean with how I feel because really, <strong>how do you tell someone who's dying that you think he was a crappy father and nothing was ever good enough for his approval, and you think he's a douche when it comes to women</strong>.
Posted by maritimebride2012[/QUOTE]

You write a letter.

My mother did this with her father.  He was abusive in every way possible, and just generally a despicable human being.  She cut him out of her life when I was a kid, and had no communication with him until she found out he'd passed away.  I have no idea what she wrote in her letter, or even if she shared it with anyone.  She contemplated putting it in his casket, but I don't know if it did happen.  Either way, she said it was a great relief to get everything off her chest, and she gained a lot of insight into her own issues from her relationship with him.