OH HELL NO!!!!

A&M_Abyss

Ladies I am having an oh hell no moment.

We did fi's guestlist this weekend so that i can get closer and closer to sending out the std's. His mother gave him the list and it came out to be like 125 people!

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{rewind}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

his parents aren't really doing much FOR THE WEDDING
 they did throw us a backyard e-party and will host the rehearsal dinner

BUT

125 people when you KNOW we said 200?

So with his list and mine combined it's at 260 FREAKING PEOPLE

Say it with me now...

OH........HELL.......NO!!!!

You will NOT invite 125ppl when you haven't contributed SQUAT to this event. And don't even fix your face to get mad when my FI tells you "our list needs to be cut" how do you realistically look at yourself in the mirror when you know it's $120PP and if 260ppl come MY FATHER has to come out his bank account with $30k UNACCEPTABLE

Lord have mercy on my tongue b/c i almost went ballistic. I was about to call the whole damn thing OFF and elope.

I'm much more calm now b/c I told FI that his list needs to get down to 100 people {110 MAX}. In my mothers eyes I can have all the guests I want b/c i'm the bride and my parents are footing the bill but I am trying to be nice...

Ok my vent is over lol

krimson19

his folk need to cut the list or yall need to cut the list.  folk need to understand that it's a wedding, not a family reunion.  good luck!!

A&M_Abyss

Couldn't have said it better myself!

And after I saw his list I "the nice fiancee" went and cut 11 more people off my list so try and relieve some pressure off of this major sinus headache lol

prettymami2

Oh hell nawwwwww is right lol!!! See that's why I can't do it. I know you blood pressure reached a milli lmao. That's way high. Is that his list and their list combined or something geez?

A&M_Abyss

The 125 people was his list and their list combined.

My list was already done {in september} and was 135

my blood pressure was high, i was breaking out in hives, and then yesterday i broke down in front of my parents {like boohoo sobbing}

this is a stressful time when you're trying to be mindful of someone else's money and your own b/c when the list goes up so do the favors, invites, centerpieces etc

YasJas2011

Oh hell no indeed. I totally understand where you are coming from. Hell at the moment we are paying the entire bill and wish either one of our parents to say something crazy! Good luck.

chayb87

Girl I feel your pain!!  FI's mom decided to invite all her coworkers, cousins, etc.  We originally planned for 150 people and well....you see my invitation ticker, we are now up to 276!  I was so stressed about it and it caused me a lot of anxiety.  Now she is contributing to the costs, but if we were paying $120pp I would have cut the list myself!

mrswillis2010

I always told people who like to plan, invite etc...NO PAY, NO SAY!

ThunderKitten2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_oh-hell?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:0107b0a6-1c8a-45a6-b3fb-421f02cd7a65Post:a55656dc-5262-4037-9516-d1cd415e1466">Re: OH HELL NO!!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]his folk need to cut the list or yall need to cut the list.  folk need to understand that it's a wedding, not a family reunion.  good luck!!
Posted by krimson19[/QUOTE]

Amen and Amen. I simply told my FI's mother that we are going to cut the list...period. I am not inviting not one person over 125, and FI and I are the one's footing the bill here. I refuse for this to me a family reunion or a chance to play catch up with people that I have not seen in 5 yrs etc. Vent away then carry on with your cuts!

rodeo417

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_oh-hell?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:0107b0a6-1c8a-45a6-b3fb-421f02cd7a65Post:dd6197db-d35f-4496-af19-c88c98257b7c">Re: OH HELL NO!!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]I always told people who like to plan, invite etc...NO PAY, NO SAY!
Posted by mrswillis2010[/QUOTE]
couldn't have said it better! We are doing 103 people and FI knows he gets 51 seats and that's it... nothing more....

sweets18

We had a similar issue, FI and I are footing most of the bill but FMIL wanted to invite everyone she knew in and out of the country. We told her that we were only paying for a specific amount of guests and that beyond that should have to pay us x amount per person to invite them. It worked for us (although we still had to limit her to 15 extra people), but she has to pay for them and it lessened our burden greatly. Idk if you could try that or if you have venue limitations.

sharonda1981

Girl you gave too much say so to his mom. Why didn't you and your FI do the list together? Thats what we did. I did my family and he did his family. His mom of course wanted to add crazy people like her landlord, or her co-workers. We told her sorry mom but we have a 200 max and we are already there. She got upset but she got over it. Our guest is mainly family and a few close friends of mine and his. I can't even invite my co-workers so why the hell would I invite her co-workers people I don't even know. Yes this is an oh hell naw moment. Take a deep breath and take control, talk with her and FI to see who each person on the list is and if they are unimportant people like co-workers then explain to her you will have to cut them due to expenses or whatever.

sharonda1981

NO PAY, NO SAY!
Posted by mrswillis2010[/QUOTE]

Love this quote!

BluIvory82

OMG, people crack me up..Money does not grow on trees so you can NOT up and decided that many people need to come to the wedding...

I'm saying it now, if I get grief about the guest list, FI and I are eloping....I dont have the time, energy or the patience....

Her list needs to be cut, THE END! Good luck

A&M_Abyss

i love you ladies lolololol

MAGNUM 06

Oh yes... A & M... this is a Hell No!!! moment,,, but before you flip out too too far... Just cut the list and keep it movin'.... There really isnt a discussion to have... If virtually no others are contributing... what's to talk about.... I mean.. I understand his mom may want key folks to be there... like grandparents or aunts & uncles... maybe, but other than that... who else.....

I say... cut the list and keep it movin.'.....

sweetjess2011

Goodness Gracious! Good luck I pray she understand's where your coming from, keep us  posted.

shesheduke

Good Lord if we could afford $120 per person it would surely help with me looking for another venue Sorry for the side bar!


I really hope you can work this out we don't want you doing the Ugly cry over the invite list. can you place accommodate more people if they decide to pay for their extra guests? I am glad your FI is on board and kudos to you for taking more people off your list to be far your are going to make a great wife with all the compromising! Let us know how it works out!!

lil01

Don't you hate that!? FI's mom needs to be told that since you & your FI are paying for everything, ya'll have the final decision on the guest list. If she doesn't agree, then that's a personal issue that she'll have to deal with. Just crazy!

My FI & I did the guest list. My mom & his mom were responsible for getting addresses. NO ONE had dibs on who to invite.

sadou02

OOOOOOOOOOOH!! When I tell you my eyes opened so wide when i read this like are you serious?!?!
My parents got a set amount that they could invite. My mother only needed 7 and my father wanted 15. Since their paying I couldnt say no to them.

But giiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrllll.... You better than me cause I would have handed it back adn just said wrong number.