Name Change.....

MsAmeera25

So while watch Kim Khardasian's wedding special her and her fiance were beefing over the name change and I really felt like she should have changed it...

What are you guys doing in regards to the name change? I plan on changing mine...no hyphen....

hatroopes

haha... we were just watching as well and had the same conversation. I will be changing my name. I love my last name, but I know it's important to FI so I'll be doing it

shesheduke

I went the hyphen route. FI was once pissed but he said he wanted me to be young forever too so were good now I still go by Mrs. newlastname even though i hyphenated.

brittanyjterrell

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_name-change-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:091b6bcc-c001-49e1-a4c2-fb700a1e1df0Post:d18e1486-6404-4b09-bb5b-1677d53ef8fe">Re: Name Change.....</a>:
[QUOTE]haha... we were just watching as well and had the same conversation. I will be changing my name.<strong> I love my last name, but I know it's important to FI so I'll be doing it
</strong>Posted by hatroopes[/QUOTE]

Exactly this! I would not have cared either way but FI is adamant about me changing it and excited and has been calling me by his last name for the past year! It's funny, I went to go pay a bill online and typed in HIS last name instead of mine and was mad that it didn't go through! Then, I finally looked.. like.. "OH, dummy! This isn't your last name, yet!" Guess I'm ready for the change :)

mahoganieyes

I was going to hypenate, but not sure now. Still going by my maiden name, but hypehenated on FB of course...lol

tyboyd

I've been married for 9 months now and I haven't changed anything! lol. But I do go by his last name. I want to hyphenate, he doesn't want that, so I just haven't done anything. Pray for me cause IDK what I'ma do.

Sherri0129

I'm going to change my last name. No doubt about it FI would be fine even if I just hyphenated it..... but nope. Changing my last is definitely on my to do list!

teamUS2012

We're having pretty major issues with this. Please pray for us, if you will (or for me, really). LOL We are on exact opposite sides of the argument. He insists I take his name, no hyphens, no two last names, etc. I insist on keeping my own last name as my last name. I tried to compromise and told him that I'd be willing to use his last name at church and at our children's schools (if God blesses us with kids), but he won't budge. I had no idea this would be such a huge issue, but it is. I have very good reasons, and he understands and empathizes, but he says it's as important to him as it is to me. *sigh* Chances are, I'll be the one to yield. And it will hurt.

djscat

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_name-change-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:091b6bcc-c001-49e1-a4c2-fb700a1e1df0Post:c4ef400b-6321-4d80-a7d4-7a79ceae088c">Re: Name Change.....</a>:
[QUOTE]I was going to hypenate, but not sure now. Still going by my maiden name, <strong>but hypehenated on FB of course.</strong>..lol
Posted by mahoganieyes[/QUOTE]

Bawhahahaha!  You know it ain't real until it's on facebook. LOL

tyboyd

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_name-change-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:091b6bcc-c001-49e1-a4c2-fb700a1e1df0Post:0ccea237-868c-4deb-a59c-78d427db8b74">Re: Name Change.....</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Name Change..... : Bawhahahaha!  You know it ain't real until it's on facebook. LOL
Posted by djscat[/QUOTE]

FB is the only place I'm "allowed" to hyphenate! LOL!

MsAmeera25

For the ladies wanting to keep their last names...why??? Just curious.... 

mikimoto6

I am going to be Mrs. Marshall McKenzie with no hyphen.  Likely I will use his last name in most social settings and use both names for professional reasons.  I am fine to take his name, but since I am older and have developed a professional reputation in my maiden name, it seems like a lot to just give it up completely. If I were getting married at 26 vs 36, I would have taken his name without any thought. 

He was fine with whatever choice I made about my new name, as long as there was not a hyphen. He said the hyphen looks like me minus him on paper and he wasn't feeling that.  

Since my primary initial doesn't change, I guess it isn't that traumatic of a name change.  I have a friend who kept her maiden name altogether.  Its so funny because I tend to forget her husband's last name.  

PrettyCW5

I plan on taking FI's last name, but my dilemma is in whether to keep my middle name or let my current last name become my middle name. Our last name are very similar. I'm Mcmylastname and he's Mchislastname. If I keep my last name for my middle and take his name it will sound like a tongue twister. It really does not flow off the tongue well....sigh...decisions decisions

mahoganieyes

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_name-change-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:091b6bcc-c001-49e1-a4c2-fb700a1e1df0Post:0b472b91-7495-4805-a6a0-4a482dd39f19">Re: Name Change.....</a>:
[QUOTE]For the ladies wanting to keep their last names...why??? Just curious.... 
Posted by MsAmeera25[/QUOTE]

Do you really want to know because I can go on for days? Lol

I agree with the poster above me about status and age. I'm 31 and if I got married before I turned 27 then I probably would have changed my name. I have my associate's and working on towards my ba and really want to keep my name the same. I love my lastname(same as my maternal grandfather) and proud to be the grand daughter of a wonderful man. I was my grandpa's fav! <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-wink.gif" border="0" alt="Wink" title="Wink" /> I believe in tracing/ or knowing your family hx. I know my family. Now my dh on the other hand could not tell you anything about his grandfather. I would hope if I have to give up my name(legacy) then it would be worth or comparable to the same strength of my elders. My dh family has issues and lacks history. My dh could not even tell me where his gf was born at.

But my biggest issue is his lastname. I hate his lastname. Yes! Did I think about this while dating? Not the first 6 years of dating. I just brushed the thought of his lastname off. When I mention his lastname, people look at me crazy or crack jokes. My AAW who are my friends on FB knows my dh lastname.

Kind of interesting but dh parents been married for 30+ years and his mom name is hypenated. She claim it was by mistake. His mom's sister married a cousin of fil and her lastname, I thought was the same of dh but not. His aunt is widowed now but was married for 33 years and she kept her maiden name. I did not know that till we received a check(wedding gift) from her with her maiden name listed. I had to ask my dh who is this?  So, evidentually not all the women in his family is happy with the choice of lastname.

My lastname is not common so when someone that knows a relative ask me if I know that person....95% is a relative. Also, I heard the Federal Building here is very strict with checking people and my mom told me they will make you remove your wig before you can check in. Sorry but I just stopped wearing a wig, but have a weave now and the thought of a stranger checking my head like I have lice in front of strangers is embarassing.

mahoganieyes

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_name-change-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:091b6bcc-c001-49e1-a4c2-fb700a1e1df0Post:05a11f8c-95a7-4e57-9ab7-7e6e1d4f26c1">Re: Name Change.....</a>:
[QUOTE]I've been married for 9 months now and I haven't changed anything! lol. But I do go by his last name. I want to hyphenate, he doesn't want that, so I just haven't done anything. Pray for me cause IDK what I'ma do.
Posted by tyboyd[/QUOTE]


I got you girl!! Lol We in this together!

lcroster

I will be hyphenating my last name.  The man reason is that my father had two daughter however I am the only one with his last name.  It is a very uncommon last name and like pp when someone ask if I know so and so with the same last name they are 99% of the time my cousin, aunt.....you get the picture.  Also my father passed when I was 13 and by keeping his last name I think I keep part of him with me. 

MrsBoss2012

Mahoganieyes are we marrying the same person??? I am right there with you on the whole history of the family name. I hate to feel like I'm loosing my heritage when FI doesn't know anything about his name. AND I don't like his last name either! His Mom told me she wasn't a fan either and it took her a long time to adjust. My last name is super cool (no really it is LOL) and his is just WIERD. You always have to spell it because people are like huh?

However I am excited to be Mrs. Wierdlastname!! He always says he understands and is ok that I want to keep my last name or hypenate but no way. To me that is a representation of still being under my father.

faithlady

hmmm I will give mine up because it is important to FI. His reasoning is he's never even considered marriage before me and he'd like to breathe new life into his family name - ok fine I'll go with that. But like mahoganieyes and others I'm not a fan of his last name and would prefer to keep my own. I guess my rationale is because I am choosing to marry him we will indeed be blending our families and so I will do my part to define that family and create a new legacy even if that begins with something as simple as a name change.

prncsz

I dropped my last name and took on his. So it's my name, middle name, and then new last name. I have a brother so he is going to carry on the family name. Had I not had one then I would have just went with maiden name as middle and then new last name. But both my sister and I dropped our last names.

teamUS2012

Same as what's already been said.

1. I'm 35 and I'll be 36 when I get married. I'm proud of my accomplishments, and have worked really hard to build my name and reputation. I think that, like some of the other ladies said, if I had been in my 20s, I may have been more willing to change it (though I'm not sure because I've been swearing I'd keep my name forever since I was a little girl). I feel like my whole life - mistakes, achievements, successes, failures and all - is attached to my name. Changing that means erasing who I am. I'm not ready for that.

2. Like Mahoganie, I have my maternal grandfather's last name. He had all girls and their girls all had all girls. My parents had 5 girls. In my entire family, there are 4 people with my last name. A sister, who is getting married soon and changing her name; a female cousin, her father, and my aunt. There is absolutely no hope for carrying on the name. I'm the last hope. My grandfather loved me to pieces, and I was his favorite grandchild. It's my pleasure to have his name, and I don't want to give that up.

3. Of equal importance, though admittedly vain, I love my name. I have double initials (LL) and both my first name and last name have 2 syllables so the flow is just amazing. I've been getting compliments on it since pre-school. I hope this doesn't sound too ridiculous, but I really do have a beautiful name (if I may say so - with all credit to my parents... lol). And my last name is not common. I've never run into anyone with my last name, but I'm almost positive that if I did, they'd probably be a relative.

Oh and did I mention my name is French, and I'm not? LOL! That's also pretty cool.

My fiance's last name? Probably on the Top 10 Most Common Last Names List. Ugh.

egammo3

FI and I had this conversation once, and he was like there will NOT be a hyphen. I think I will take his last name.  

bcbsbride

FI and I just discussed this when we went and I got our marriage license. I want to hyphenate my last name. FI stated there will be no hyphens. So I will be changing my last name.

Baesmom

I am taking my FI's last name.  The main reason is that my son has his last name.  I like his last name. 
I did think about hyphenating it but that seems too LONG. lol.  I did think about the fact that I wont have the same last name as my parents and brothers but its not that big of a deal. 

[Deleted User]

I'm keeping my last name. In my profession, extensive credentialing is done everytime I change positions or apply for licensure. I've established myself professionally as Dr. So-and So and I'm going to remain Dr. So-and-So. Socially, I can be Mrs. Fiance's Last name.

teamUS2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_name-change-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:091b6bcc-c001-49e1-a4c2-fb700a1e1df0Post:f902dbb5-5219-4d58-993f-806bbb503525">Re: Name Change.....</a>:
[QUOTE]FI and I had this conversation once, <strong>and he was like there will NOT be a hyphen.</strong> I think I will take his last name.  
Posted by egammo3[/QUOTE]

That's exactly what mine said in our very first conversation on the matter. AND he had the man-nerve to tell me it's not open for discussion! Ugh!!!

What made it worse is that we had the conversation in front of my mother and she totally agreed with him and told me that "it's not that serious and it's just a name." Meanwhile, she has my deceased father's last name AND her new husband's last name. SMH.

neene112

I am changing my last name although I can understand why this would be a difficult decision.
Reasons to change my last name: 1) Most important- He is is an only child. i am one of seven (five boys and two girls). 2) I want the same name as my child. 3) He does not care either way. its silly but I am sometime contrary for no good reason. 4) I don't hate his name.

Why I am ok with my decision: 1) I used to hate my name because it was so unusual but grew to love everything about very recently. learnign to love it was part of me coming into my own- so it is hard to let it go. But changing my name will recognize his influence in my life moving forward and I dont intend to fight that. 2) at 30+ i am mid-level in my career and my network has grown large. but, I dont think I can work with anyone who cant adjust to a simple name change. this will be the weeding out process, i guess. 3) His name and my name together makes me sound like a TV weather reporter. I dont hate this but I dont love it either.

daniandron

My FI doesn't care either way, but I plan to only change my last name socially. Changing to his would give me one of the most common names in America. I genuinely like my last name and won't be changing anything officially.

wallacje

I still haven't changed my last name. H mentyions it at least once a week. I've worked very hard and built a good reputation with my last name and there is just something about changing my last name that really bothers me.  He doesn't have to do anything, just remain the same, but going through the whole process is really just annoying.  My dad didn't have any boys, I have my grandmothers name as my middle name, so I will probably end up with 2 last names, whenever I decide to do it.  I wish he would demand that I change my name, oh he** naw, you're straight trippin, I'm not a piece of property at all, you better get him for real.