NWR - Why do some make excuses? vent

Carla1019

I hope this does not come off as judgmental but I was really disappointed.

Today I was coming back from my lunch break and I was in the elevator with 3 young AA ladies. I would assume they were in their young 20s. All three were very pretty girls but majorly over weight. One girl said, "I could lose weight if I wanted too but I don't know how to eat right" Really!?
Since the invention of the internet how can anyone say they don't know how to eat right? All you have to do is google healthy eating options.

Even at the gyms I've gone too over the past 10 years, AA women make up less than 10% of the people in there.

Now I know there are genetic and health reasons why some have a hard time, but I'm talking about the ladies that have accepted being unhealthy and overweight.  What are your thoughts?

BlissPhilly

I have friends and family members that are overweight and I don't think any of them are happy about being overweight , I think that after trying so many different avenues of losing weight and not being successful they're just discouraged, I know 3 people that have had gastric bypass and gained the weight back...I can't imagine how that must feel  go to that extreme and the weight still comes back. Some of the people close to me  don't have the means to join weight watchers or hire personal trainers but I think having a support system like that is a HUGE help in obtaining weight loss goals. And then too with some the weight is a reflection of other things going on in their life. In my opinion I don't think people just give up and just want to be overweight I think it's bigger than that and since I haven't walked a day in their shoes I try not to judge but rather just focus on myself and what I can do to be healthier and just an overall good person. Also remember skinny doesn't always equate to being "healthy" ... 

Artemis9999

I had always been really thin and then had an ankle injury and started packing on the pounds. Most people wouldn't consider me fat or anything...I got to a size 12...but I wasn't happy with how I looked so I started working out. Got back to me high school size and got lazy. Gained the weight back plus a few extra and now I am trying to get it off again. luckily for me I am tall and I carry weight well. I also lose it fairly quickly but I think a problem, not just with AA females but people in general is that we make lame excuses as to why we can't workout. We're tired, too busy, don't have the money for a gym membership.....but in truth it's just an hour a day. Once I started looking at it that way it made it a little easier to go. I think it just has to click in your head to make the change and once it does you stick with it. Until that click happens I think you fall into the cycle.

busybruck

I know that I am overweight and I have tried several things to lose weight. I am now loosing a little, but not nearly as much as others doing the same thing I'm doing. My family just assumes that I am lazy and make excuses, but they don't know everything I've tried because I don't feel I should have to justify myself. If I say I'm trying that should be enough, I shouldn't have to give you a list of everything I did. I can say that it's very discouraging and very hurtful that your family feels that way about you, it does make you just want to give up. Not saying there aren't the lazy people, but there are some that try really and have true issues getting results. Just try to remember that. When you have tried so many things, it's easier to just say you don't care so others won't judge you so much. With the gym, it's very intimidating when you are trully overweight not just trying to lose 10-15 lbs. and other people are rude and they stare, it's just not comfortable. That's why I stop going. Where you should feel the most motivated, you feel the most defeated. It's hard, just think about that.

BluIvory82

It's frustrating to loose weight but some people just dont feel like it. I think that is because people are just being lazy and have a lack of motivation. Trust me,  and I am ashamed to say this BUT, I used to be one of those women who refused to workout because of my hair. Now I could careless because hair is something that can be fixed. I would much rather have my health and peace of mind and of course a slamming body then to be worried about some darn hair.

There are a lot of women who still think like that and have no problem saying so. i think it is sad. people need to wake up and realize, life is about making choices and making good decisions. People should want to be healthy, and Bliss you are right, skinny does not equal healthy because I know plenty of "skinny" people who do not eat right at all and cant exercise to save their life because of all the junk they have been eating.

desi2002

Most Americans dont know how to make smart eating choices. Thats why America is struggling with obesiety. A lot of children are bribed with food,if you do this, you can have ice cream, or pizza, or whatever. Food is often looked at as a reward and not what you need to live. After so many years, the way you eat is part of your lifestyle. Changing the way that you eat is not as easy as following a meal plan, there are a lot of psychological issues too.Some people eat to hide pain or abuse. Losing weight (exercising and changing the way you eat) takes a lot of mental strength. If a person isnt mentally strong or unmotivated, then losing weight will be difficult at the least.

Carla1019

Desi2002 - you make a great point. And I'm sure those that say they don't care really do but find it hard to change.

You all made great points. Thanks!

kittybutton

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_nwr-excuses-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:0fbc50e4-7a60-4565-b521-3b01bc896140Post:2230fddd-b3fb-4275-83b9-79b0c7bdbd03">Re: NWR - Why do some make excuses? vent</a>:
[QUOTE]I know that I am overweight and I have tried several things to lose weight. I am now loosing a little, but not nearly as much as others doing the same thing I'm doing. My family just assumes that I am lazy and make excuses, but they don't know everything I've tried because I don't feel I should have to justify myself. If I say I'm trying that should be enough, I shouldn't have to give you a list of everything I did. I can say that it's very discouraging and very hurtful that your family feels that way about you, it does make you just want to give up. Not saying there aren't the lazy people, but there are some that try really and have true issues getting results. Just try to remember that. When you have tried so many things, it's easier to just say you don't care so others won't judge you so much. <font color="#800080">With the gym, it's very intimidating when you are trully overweight not just trying to lose 10-15 lbs. and other people are rude and they stare, it's just not comfortable. That's why I stop going. Where you should feel the most motivated, you feel the most defeated. It's hard, just think about that.
</font>Posted by busybruck[/QUOTE]

Gurl Keep at it. Let me tell you a story. I was at the gym and this "overweight" guy was next to me on the treadmill. We both were walking, then I started to run so did he. But after 20min of running I was TIRED I had to stop. Dude kept going I was like "go head with yo bad self" I saw a "overweight" woman was on the elliptical machine and she was get n it. So dont be discouraged. Keep up the good work, you can do it. Once you start seeing results then it will make it easier.  I wish it was someway we all can like "Skype Workout" together in our homes. We ALWAYS encourage each other here.

cincy2011

I think people make excuses b/c they are not mentally/emotionally/physically ready to start living a healthy lifestyle.  I agree with one of the PPs, once you pass the 10-15 lbs overweight mark, it becomes much tougher b/c it takes longer to see progress after you start making lifestyle changes.  Then it's easy to give up and say it "didn't work". 

I have been there - the largest I've been is a 12, but that was too big for my frame and my doctor told me I needed to lose about 10-15 lbs.  I tried a couple of times to exercise more, but didn't see results (didn't change my diet at all) so I stopped.  Then I tried again and this time changed my diet but didn't see significant results b/c I wasn't really pushing myself during workouts, I was doing what was comfortable for me.  Finally, I started working out with FI and he showed me how to push myself to my limit in the gym and I ate better and finally the weight started dropping.  It's definitely a process and it's not easy.