NWR but I need to vent and get a little advice (long)

MrsJJohnson2B

So FMIL and I were getting close and she all of a sudden changed her mind and decided to remain friends with FI sons mother. This is ok I really don't mind, that they are friends but I have let her know that the son's mother and I would never be friends.

Since FMIL hasn't spoke to me in about a month she has her daughter speak for her. the daughter is 14. FI adopted sister.

15 years ago FMIL co-signed for FI to buy the home we live in. She doesn't call before sending her daughter in the house. We can be sitting on the couch and the door will open without a knock. 

I had just come in the house and headed up stairs with FI and stepson.  Guess who walked in the room after me the daughter.

I cant take this~ Its time for us o buy a home, I know he will not take her Key back because they brought the home together. FMIL is just being disrespectful.

I don't know how to say this to FI without hurting his feeling. He is strong but you know people feel about their parents.
TIA

tnspight

So did his mom help pay for the house too?  I understand FILs having a key.  FILs should call before coming over.  And even if they call first, they should still knock on the door and wait for you to answer.  I mean, what if you're getting intimate in the living room and they just walk in? 

Maybe you could tell him how uncomfortable you are with FILs just popping into the house.  They don't live there; they shouldn't just walk in.  Ask him to speak to FILs about calling before they come over, then knocking and waiting to be let into the house.  At the very least, they could call first.  Make sure that he knows it's not because you don't want them coming over.

desi2002

even though she helped buy the house, YOU are the lady of that house and you need to be respected. that is an invasion of your personal space and that needs to be checked. Tell FI that you feel uncomfortable and for him to let them know that he has a family now and that they need to call or at least knock before coming in the house. 

feleciae19

Just talk to FMIL about it. Be sweet as pie. Maybe even bake her something. You don't  want to cause drama. Just talk to her about it from a safety stand point. His sister should call before she comes that is just bottom line.

Someone could mistake her for someone breaking in. Not to long ago a man killed his girlfriend by accident because she just came into his house late at night. He thought she  was someone trying to rob  him and he shot her before he figured out who she was.

From my personal experience I have a gun in my house for protection and I would shoot someone if they just walked in my house unannounced. People that know me call before they come over because they don't want a cap in their A$$.

Don't say you will shoot FI’s sister to FMIL, LOL! But tell her that it makes you feel uneasy about someone just walking in your home. It does not matter if she helped pay for the house or not that is just rude. Unless the little girl lives there, then she should not misuse her key like that.

MrsJJohnson2B

@tnspight no she didnt put down the deposit or even pay a bill  
Thank you Im going to let hinm know Im uncomfortable. I just didnt know how to say it!

MrsW2000

I completely agree that you should let FI know you're uncomfortable with it and honestly it's just downright disrespectful that someone walks in your home with at least knocking first.  That is a complete lack of privacy.  What if you and FI were having some couple time and someone just walked in?  I hope everything takes a turn for the better.  GL!

OFF

That is messed up.  You have to let him know how uncomfortable this makes you.  Regardless of whose name is on the deed and who did or did not pay what this is nothing short of rude and a sign of disrespect.  My FILs live really close and they would never think of just coming by without calling first.  Even when we are headed over there and they know we are coming we call to give them a heads up.   Uh and why can't his mom be mature enough to be friends with both of you?  I understand that is her grandchild's mom but you are the one that's going to be married to her son.