POLL: Household Help

blue19violet

I recognize that women in the past (and now) are taking care of households and raising children without help. I respect my mother – and all of the other women – for having done it but I just don’t have the desire to prove that I’m superwoman around the house. I’m straight up with mine when I say that I want to hire a cleaning person and a nanny (when the time should arrive). We wouldn’t realistically be able to afford to employ someone full time but I’d at least like a cleaning person 2x a month and a nanny 3 days out of the week. Does that make me a bougie b*****??? My family (esp my aunt) and his will probably think so. I know my aunt for sure will just see this as another example of my “acting white.” Do I care? On some level – maybe. However, the way I see it is that we’re working hard to make our lives better than our parents’. Why should I apologize for wanting more? So, what are your thoughts on hiring someone (or multiple people) to help with the household and/or the children? How do you think your family (and his) would react? How do you feel about their reaction?

alfdallas21

1) I wish I could hire a maid; a nanny; an errands person so that I could sit my phat a$$ down somewhere and read my books...LOL! 2) my family & his would react just like yours, "There she go again acting bougie!  That's just being sorry not cleaning your own home!" 3) WHATEVER!!  They aint paying for ish up in this piece, so I wouldn't care one bit...LOL!   

OFF

I just moved in with the FI and let him know I'm his future wife not the maid. So we are in the process of looking for someone to come in probably once a month (if we can afford it maybe twice). I also let him know if he is making he have a baby we are definitely getting a nanny nothing full time maybe as part of a nanny share or just a couple of days a week. I'm of the opinion that if I can afford to make my life easier then that is what I should do. Why tough it out? To prove that I'm strong or staying real that I'm not middle class and bougie? Well I am middle class why hide or be ashamed of that. My mom couldn't afford these things and she did them herself but luckily I don't have to struggle like her and I will take advantage of getting any help I can afford. And I could care less what mine or his family says. As long as I'm not asking them for money it is none of anybody's business what I do with mine.

the cat

Blue - u sure come out with some good ones! If we lived in a large home, had 2 or more children, and P & I both worked outside of the home full time (40+ hrs/wk) I would consider hiring help. My family would gladly volunteer for the job! I don't think they'd have anything negative to say. I wouldn't care what anyone had to say b/c it's our life and no one knows how it works or what we need more than us. In my current situation, there's no need for help around the house. It's only P & I in a 2br/2ba. Dynamite is 12 and can carry his own cleaning load (with supervision) and there's no babies messing ish up. P helps tremendously with laundry and cooking when he's home during the week and I'm home on weekends to do what little needs to be done. Even when he's gone all week, things don't really go undone with just Dynamite and I.

jonsmeshondra

WOW girl, this is a good one! I considered it a long time ago but could not afford it at all. I just had to put my foot down when my kids got older. If you want this, you won't get it unless A,B, and C get done around the house, no ifs ands or buts! Not sure how Jon's family would react but he himself would tell me no. He says, that's what we have kids for. Mind you, mine are older (10,12,14, and 17) and his are now 15 & 18. It's not nearly as big an issue as it was when they were smaller. How do I feel about their reaction? Not sure...It depends on who says it. His opinion--I care about that of course. But we were raised somewhat differently. He had a real hard arse of a mom and I didnt. Everyone else's opinion, I dont think I really care! I most def agree w/you on what pt in particular...You said you dont want to prove that you are a superwoman. Well, I'm TIRED of proving it!!

brobin01

I am so happy you posted this.First of all, back in the day...husbands made enough money for wifes to stay at home and do all housework, cook everyday and take care of the kids...now of days, it's not as common b/c of all the economic hardship that's going on. I work 9 hours a day. I had a second job, but was worn out plus I am back in the gym trying to get my body right. I am so sick and TIRED of trying to be superwoman. It stresses me out! Yesterday, I was too tired to cook and FI came home looking for a hot meal. I especially didn't cook b/c our 4 year old is away to the grandparents..I was like look dude, I work just as hard as you every damn day..when are you going to bring your a$$ home and cook?  Ok, soorryy to vent but girllll...Anyway, no you are not boogie. My mom was a single mom for years and hired a cleaing lady to clean our place once a week.So, what are your thoughts on hiring someone (or multiple people) to help with the household and/or the children? I think it's a great idea for woman who work, have children that are in school and have multiple activities.How do you think your family (and his) would react? Who cares? they can kiss my a$$, unless they want to come over and help clean after all the folks in the home.How do you feel about their reaction? I don't give a damn about their reaction...they can again..kiss my pattotie.

MrsW2000

So, what are your thoughts on hiring someone (or multiple people) to help with the household and/or the children? I just got in touch with a cousin that I hadn't spoken to in a while and during the convo she told me she had a nanny that helps out for a couple of hours a day with things like picking her son up from school. The exact details of whatever she does I have no clue about. But I remember thinking, "wow, she must have a great paying job." I never once thought that she was stuck up or she couln't handle her responsibilities. My second thought was that if she could afford the help than that's flipping fantastic. Then she told me how much she pays an hour which doesn't seem that much if you only need a nanny for a few hours a day. She actually had me thinking about this. I want to be a working Mom so I know we may need help with some things because of our schedule. As for a cleaning person...if they came in just to do the dishes I would seriously love them for life. All of this of course depends on whether or not we can afford it.How do you think your family (and his) would react?They would probably think that I had a good paying job but that I'm wasting my money too.How do you feel about their reaction?To be honest I probably wouldn't tell them right away only because I wouldn't want to be judged. But if you need the help and you can afford it then more power to you.

Ladysun083

Ok, so if we lived in a big enough house, I would consider having someone maybe come once a year/2x to do a major clean down... but as far as everyday/week/month nah..I ike to clean if i have good music, she /he would just be in my way and I would become irritatedAs far as what others think, they can put their thoughts where? back there! I could give a f*k especially if we're paying for it.

blue19violet

Brobin, woosahhh girlll, lmao. Alf, you are too ridiculous . Thanks ladies for always KIR with your answers. Now let me continue working so that I can save up some cheddar to afford those things and to tell people to kiss my patootie .

Spim7

FI would never go for that. At least not right now. he has no problem doing the housecleaning so I really don't worry about it too much. When we have a baby, depending on where I'm working, I will definitely get a Nanny for during the day. I'm not staying home and not working. But I also don't have a problem bringing my child to a "good" pre-school. I think when we get settled in our house I might hire a cleaning crew to thoroughly clean the house once a month. My family would totally understand & so would his.

cris10c

So, what are your thoughts on hiring someone (or multiple people) to help with the household and/or the children? I'd think I would consider hiring someone to help with the kids but not the house work. How do you think your family (and his) would react? I think they would understand. All of our family is hours away so they wouldn't be able to help. How do you feel about their reaction?

Ladysun083

oh I forgot the nanny, I wouldnt necessarily hire a nanny, but if I was able to afford for someone to just pick my children up and bring them to me and occasionally watch them while hubby and I were out, then I would go for it.

Crystalis77

I will hire in a hearbeat.  I HATE HATE cleaning.  Growing up we had someone come in weekly and clean our house and my mother was a housewife.  And we were far from rich.  So I dont think they would think nothing of me having someone come in. I actually found someone to come in to do some deep cleaning at our home.  Mainly the bathroom and kitchen.  If she does an acceptable job then I would have her come at least once a month to do that deep cleaning.As far as a nanny goes.  If I can afford one I will definately get one.   And unless I was asking someone else to pay for it I wouldnt care what anyone else has to say.

tamishae77

I would absolutely love it if I could have hired help for household chores and kids if I had any.  My family would be soooo jealous if I had a maid and nanny, and I would love the hateration LOL.

Lovie 129

We actually have someone come in once a week to really clean, windows ceilings, fans....and it's not as expensive as you'd think. If that is what you want to do, go for it.I have a cleaning lady not because I'm lazy, but because I'm super super clean and busy. FI is a chef (now in MD), son is in 4th grade, in 5 different sports, and I'm in nursing school full time. I don't have the time to do all the things I want to do, so we put it our budget, it was actually FI's idea.As far as a nanny, I'd consider it if I was going to work full time. I'm out of work until I graduate, and plan to have one more baby (if my eggs don't go on strike), then I'll stay home.Everything is about budget, you'd be surprised what you can afford when you really sit down and make a fiscal plan.