African American Weddings

******Is it possible to.......

Hate your mother? No I'm not crazy I just can't stand her! We've always had this love hate relationship. But she is just being a B@!&@ for no reason. I haven't done or said anything to piss her off!I just don't understand. It's really bad when my 9yr old son asks me to stay away from her because he thinks she hates me! Y'all please pray for me! I'm about to disconnect myself from her starting today. I've already contacted T-Mobile to change my number. I refuse to deal with this negativity when I'm planning one of the biggest days of my life....Thanks for letting me vent...Aneitra

Re: ******Is it possible to.......

  • OFFOFF
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Being a mother is more than just giving birth to someone. It's about nurturing, caring, loving and being there for your child. If your mother can't or won't do that and is causing you distress then it's for the best to disconnect. Maybe this will give her the wake up call she obviously needs. But don't bother with hate. Hate just drags the hater down. Just let it go and remember all the people in your life that bring you joy.
  • edited December 2011
    Its possible but I wouldn't hate her. My mother was never really in my life and when she pop back up its with a attitude like I owe her something. It's already in the plans for her not to attend my wedding and i'm fine with that. I still love her but just don't see a future with her. So don't say you hate her just say yall don't get alone with her and pray about it. You know when it's in gods hands "thats it"!!! He handle it all. God I could tell you some stories of what I been through with that lady.
  • edited December 2011
    Many may disagree with me when I say this but I'm gonna say it anyway. All women aren't meant to be mothers. If you and your mom have a rocky relationship, love her from afar. We have no control who we are related to, but we sure as heck can surround ourselves with people that love us no matter what. Family will fudge you first and fudge you the worst. Do what's best for you and your family.
  • edited December 2011
    Amen Lovie          I had to tell my mom just because she gave birth to me don't make her a mother.
  • edited December 2011
    Thanks ladies! I guess HATE is a strong word! I just really don't care for her. Shaunta I love her because she's my mom but other than that it's nothing. She's a good mom to my little sister I think it's me she dislikes! I think I've accomplished more than she has in life and she's a little resentful towards me because of that. She's never been much of a mom anyway. I didn't live with her until I was 15 and my granny passed so I was forced to live with her.So there has never been much of a relationship! I've spent most of my life trying to make her happy. And no matter what I do it's never good enough! I'm leaving her in God's hands. I cannot be stressed with this anymore! Thanks again ladies!
  • edited December 2011
    Wow if it is so serious that you changed your number then it is time for some divine intervention. You need to let go and let God at this moment. Right now is the time you need her the most and evidently she does not feel the need to want to be apart of that so I would step back, pray about it and let God intervene. I am so sorry you are going thru this. Especially at this time but to keep your sanity and focus on your tasks at hand, give you and the relationship with your mom some space. I promise you, you will come around in the end. Just keep the faith. I hope you feel better.
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  • tamtam7tamtam7 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm so sorry you are having problems with your mom.  I'll save my vent for another post, because I do not want to jack your thread, but just know that my mother and I are having problems too.  And I'll just leave it at that.  You don't need to deal with the negativity.  You should be able to surround yourself with people that are positive and happy for you.  This is a happy occassion and you have every right to enjoy it....damn it!  I can feel myself getting a bit heated now.  Anyways, I'm so sorry that you're going through this and I'm so sorry that your son has to watch you go through it.  I truly hope that you and your mom can work things out, but do what you need to do to bring peace and happiness into your life.  Planning a wedding is stressful enough!
  • tamtam7tamtam7 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Oh!  And Lovie, I love what you said.  Sometimes we feel that we have to keep family in our life just because they're family.  And we put up with a lot of crap from them for no reason.  I didn't choose those people to be in my life, so why do I have to put up with their crap.  I choose to surround myself with people that are positive and supportive and if that means that family have to be kicked out of my life because of their negativity than so be it...shyt!   I mean if you, miss2, have to kick family out of your life.  Because this is about you, not me.  Sorry! LOL
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