African American Weddings
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Bridal Party Dilemma... what would you do...long!

Good Morning Ladies!When i first started planning my wedding we were having a big wedding in NYC. So i had 8BM... yes 8 BM... i give them each the cutes will you be my BM cards and gift which they each accept the offer. Now fast forward to the fact that everyone said they was going to help us with the wedding but never stepped up so FI and I sat down and decided that a DW was better for our budget and wouldnt have to depend on anyone. So now i am excited about my up coming SMALL wedding in St. Lucia. Here is the problem i have 8 BM... i really dont want 8 BM anymore... truth be told i did not want that many then. But i didnt know then how to choose and i definitely dont wanna  ask ppl to step down after i already asked them to be my BM. So what should i do. say F it rock out with 8 of my girls or just be honest and tell then how i feel. i am just afraid that if i am honest they will understand until i start cutting ppl... asking why me n not her!!!... PLEASE HELPTIA( excuse any typos typing fast)

Re: Bridal Party Dilemma... what would you do...long!

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    edited December 2011
    It's kinda hard to take it back once you've already asked them.  I understand you're having a small wedding but is there a reason you don't wanna just keep the 8 BM's?  Keep in mind too that not all of them may be able to attend your wedding in St. Lucia so you may end up having less than 8 anyway.  Hope everything works out for ya, GL!
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    edited December 2011
    I just felt 8 BM  was alot for a wedding of  at most 60 guest. as far as now they are all coming... everyone was given Save-the-dates a year  in advance,!...
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    trevette1981trevette1981 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'd leave it as is. After you tell them it will be in St. Lucia, everyone might not be able to come, so it may work itself out. Just be sure to let them know if they have to back out, it's okay.
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    edited December 2011
    In this case it's one extreme or the other; you either cut everyone of keep everyone. Explain the DW to them and ask them if they can afford to travel to your wedding and still be a BM. If they say that they can't afford both then let them know that it would be better if they just attended your wedding and not worry about paying for a BM dress
    Lovin Kimmie
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    edited December 2011
    thanks ladies for ur input. i am just going to keep all of them~!
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    edited December 2011
    From one DW bride to another, I say don't cut anyway (yourself). You already extended the offer thats that, now there wont be anything wrong with having 8 bm's your pics will be fab! You already sent out the STD's so its established that they will have to pay for travel, etc and they know this and still want to remain bm's, correct?   Now what i would do is arrange a dinner, girls night in, etc (your house, or whever) and just reiterate that since you and FI decided to go with the DW, you understand that financially it may not be possible for everyone and let them know that if it is a burden and they feel that they cannot fulfill the bm responsibilities that you will not have any hard feelings towards them and that you totally understand.  That way there is no miscommunication
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    edited December 2011
    Let your BM know that your wedding is now a destination wedding, give them the opportunity to remain or decline. I agree with pp on that. If all can still go, think if it as wonderful gift that you have friends who want to stand up with you, not everyone has that.Remember, we just saw a wedding that had more attendants than guests (4 guests in the pews), really. LOLTake it easy, all will be fine.
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    Panda16Panda16 member
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    edited December 2011
    I'm having a DW and my bridal party already is cut by 2 girls. So right now, I have my two sisters, FSIL, and my close friend (maybe).Point is, I agree with pp's. Chances are your BM's may decline the offer themselves. Not everyone may be able to come, incuding members of your bridal party. I'm not sure if you're having an AHR but bring up that as an option for them to attend in lieu of the wedding.
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    edited December 2011
    It is too late in the game to ask someone to step down after they have already accepted. As ppr's have said, not everyone is going to be able to make it to St. Lucia, so you may luck up and have fewer folks anyway. A lot can change between now and when it is time to go. I say be fair and just play it out with all 8 BM's if they all should so happen to go. I know this isn't what you want but these ladies are there for you. So enjoy having your friends in your corner  and fly a$$ BP portraits.
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    edited December 2011
    I agree with Michelle: You asked them so you are stuck with them. At the end of the day I do not think they will all make it to St. Lucia. 
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