Thinking about Calling it OFF!

eternalempress

Hello ladies,I'm thinking about calling my wedding off because of my family. I am really considering getting a refund on our venue and going to the Bahamas or something to get married, just my FI and I because my family is very unsupportive and hardly any of his family is going to show up. No one wants to help us financially, and my only sister whom I chose to be my MOH refused to get her dress because she is selfish and spoiled so my MOH is defaulted to my best friend. My mom even act like she had any attitude when I told her that my brother's wife offered to pay for our flowers!We are struggling to pay for the wedding on our own and I just feel like why should we spend all this money on my family to eat and dance when they couldn't even support us at all? I don't even want my sister at my wedding now. I really wanted a wedding, but if I knew it was going to be like this I would've never wasted our time trying to get married with my family present. What should I do? Am I wrong for feeling like this?

mycicybride

Deep breath. Focus your efforts on those that do support your wedding. I am very sorry to say this but...don't focus on the negative people...no matter who they are. Have the wedding that you and fly want and can afford. Now I'll share my story so you will take my advice to heart.My family is dead set against me marrying FI. They don't support it at all for religious differences. Now because of this none of my immediately family came to the e-party and they vow not to attend the wedding. FI's fam has welcomed me with open arms and I choose to focus on these relationships right now. I have not spoken to my mom, dad, or sister for months now and it hurts; however, we cannot help who we love and I pray in time their hearts will soften and support us. I have reached out a few times since the engagement but it only ends in hurt. My friends and FI's friends and fam here in NC have been life savers and a source of strength and support. Because my did is not on board we are paying for all of the events ourselves and we are fine with it as it is our day.I pray you find peace of mind in following your heart and living the best life you and FI can have together.  I also hope you find comfort in my words that you are not alone. Another one of your AAW knotttie sisters family is not helpful/ supportive either. Let's keep our heads up and continue to help each other plan our days.Cicy

mahoganieyes

Empress and cicy, sorry to hear about your families. Sometimes family think they knows what is right, but end up hurting the one they love. Right now they might not be supportive,  but they will come around one day. When they do, just welcome them with opening arms.Empress, if doing a dw will give you the comfort you need, then do it! What does your fi think about doing a dw?

eternalempress

He is all for it actually. He feels "cheated" for having to pay so much for my family whom won't even support us.

eternalempress

Maybe you're right Cicy. I'm glad that someone else on here understands how I feel and thank you for your words of encouragement. It's still up in the air of what we should do. I don't want to disappoint the few whom do support us, but I don't want my wedding day to be a total nightmare either.

MrClintonsFirstLady09

I understand how you feel and I am sorry you are going through all of this. At the end of the day, it is always about the bride and groom. Not all the time are our families going to be supportive of who we love or intend to marry and that's fine but I don't agree with bringing extra grief to an already stressful situation. You do not need to call off your wedding. If this wedding is something you want to do then do then you should continue on with your planning. Still extend your invitation to your family because I think stooping to their level is a waste of time and energy. The wedding is about you and FI and the love you two share. All else is really irrelevant. I pray it all works out for you and GL. HTH

miss2mrscj

Hey mama...I'm sorry you are going through this. I'm having family issues too. My FI family can't stand me and they are refusing to come to the wedding because I decided to change the venue. I don't think that's the real reason though. They think I'm stuck up and I think I'm too good for my FI...My parents are a little concerned about us getting married because of the fact his family doesn't like me. Girl I'm so afraid it's going to be the Hatfied & McCoys at my wedding...LOL..It bothers he and I both but I refuse to let these ignorant people ruin my wedding. Just think if you call off your wedding you are allowing them to win. Just take some time and think about it. I hope this helps!!!

rhodesign

I'm sorry. It sucks that your families can't support you emotionally in all this.Have a small wedding with those you care about the most. If they don't come, no money wasted. You can do what you can afford and forget the naysayers.

eternalempress

All of you are right. I shouldn't let this negativity spoil our day. We've worked so hard to make this happen and I don't want all of our work to be for nothing. I'm talking to my FI right now and he said that you are all right. Thank you for your support. You've really changed our minds by pointing out whats most important.I won't be calling it off and I will enjoy "OUR" day regardless of anyone's negative opinions

khaligumbs

In my opinion I do not think you should have mentioned who was paying what to anyone.  Including your mother since she is unsupportive.  How much money will you lose at this point?  I hear you on paying for a bunch of unsupportive people. Can I ask why the families are unsupportive?

eternalempress

To KhaligumbsThat is just how they are towards me. Always have been. No matter my endeavors they will not support me in any of my goals, including marriage. My family can really be negative. To give you a minor example, I'm usual the one that is always the butt of their jokes and favoritism is very big in my immediate family. I just hoped that in this event it would be different.

MrsW2000

I'm sorry to hear about this eternalempress.  I would seriously consider the DW if I were you.  I agree with your FI. I would not want to spend the money of people who don't support me.  Do what works for you and your FI.  GL with everything!

neasy2004

Hi Everybody,I am new to this but I saw this post  and had to say something. I know how you feel my fh's family  (mom & sister) are giving me a hard way to go . Some of my family members are too. I though about canceling for about a MINUTE then decided this was our day and WE refuse to let them ruin OUR day. If they choose not to come more money for the HONEYMOON. The one thing I wouldnt do is ask them for anything not even to spit on me if i was on fire. (LOL) So that being said i dont want anything from them on OUR day. I would rather go without with my dignity. YOU guys WILL  have a GREAT DAY either way. You are in my prayers GOODLUCK.

eternalempress

Thank you everyone for being so supportive. I was really feeling  a bit depressed until I came here on the boards. It's a shame I get more support online from people I don't know personally, than my own family, but I am so grateful for all of you. Thanks!--EternalEmpress

sdstephens2010

FI and I are having a DW wedding and honey it's 100% stress free! We are having it at Sandals Montego Bay and the wedding is free, since we are staying 7 days. All we have to do is show up! I am not againt large weddings, but I am against going into debt for people who are not in support of your marriage. Have you thought about having a DW and a reception when yu guys return?  Your wedding should be intimate and sacred...not stressful!