African American Weddings

~~ Yeah I need H.O.~~ Long I think?

Ok, Im back and need some honest opinions, hopefully you'll remember the drama with WC/ AP (thats FI's bestie). Well anyway im chatting with AP's ex on FB her and AP are still cool they talk, Im having a gtg next week and shes coming, so anyway I guess she knows what was going on, during the convo it came up and she told me how ridiculous she thought it was and that she would suggest I K.I.M and not fall into that foolishness..then she told me while speaking to AP he doesnt even sound excited about his own wedding and he is not into the BS that WC created and is kind of disappointed that my FI wont be at his and that he cant be at ours..So here is the thing, ive told FI to talk to him and tell him if he can get the time that we would pay for the majority of trip for him to be there (im that type of person) but i dont understand why this weddng sh*t is such a mute issue, I even told FI that he can go to theirs without me, its like that..i told him to tell AP, if my presence is an issue I dont want him to feel like FI should be excluded, be there for your friend.whatever.  But I know he wont talk to him, im at a point where im like just leave it alone, but im that type of woman where i dont want to see a seperation with them over some stupid sh*t that WC created.I thought about telling AP to meet me somewhere so that i can present this to him, or having him come over to the house where FI, AP and I can discuss this..but I dont want to look like a fool, should I just leave this alone for good? dam* my stuborness :-(

Re: ~~ Yeah I need H.O.~~ Long I think?

  • edited December 2011
    Sorry, im trying to find the original post to paste to give some of you background..
  • NELCORPNELCORP member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I remember your prior post...anyway, if FI really wants to attend the wedding then you should speak to him about you not going and him being there for his friend. Then I would leave it up to FI to talk to AP. If FI doesn't well you did your part and leave it alone. As far as AP coming to yours, again I say it depends on how much it matters to FI. It's his friend and if they can come up with a solution that you like also then good..if not again you've done your part then leave it alone. 
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  • edited December 2011
    Thanks Nel, im gng to talk to him again, he's just so dam* set in his ways, he's one of those instead of listening im just going to go with what i know kinds...
  • edited December 2011
    I remember this situation from when you originally posted it and I gotta say that your suggestions to resolve this issue between FI and "AP" is really kind of you and shows that you are truly concerned about FI keeping his relationship with his BFF regardless of the drama that WC has created....with that said, I think the best action for you is just like you said - ask "AP" to come over to y'all place and that way the 3 of you can discuss the matter without static from WC...you'll be able to say to "AP" personally that you have no problem with FI coming to his wedding w/o you but don't want them to have any drama between them...do you think FI will be willing to do this with you?
  • edited December 2011
    yeah that I dont know, I can see him trying to give me flack, but like you said im looking beyond my own satisfaction at this point.  I would hope he doesn't and just agree's to it.  without turning into something more than it is.. he tries to make it seem like a bad thing the way I am, Im a natural born communicator and problem solver, I dont do the petty, when i see a situation, im like lets find the root and resolution and go on about the day and because I am passionate about it, its like I get the bad wrap of not letting things go..:-(
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