Please pray for us

Lovie 129

Ladies,I'm usually joking but tonight I'm having a hard time finding the right words. I even answered a few posts to try to get in the swing of things and I can't. Please pray for me and FI. We are in the hardest battle of our relationship. I know God is in all things, but my fear has me torn down and almost broken. I can't pray for myself and that ain't good, let alone pray with FI. All I can do is cry out, there are no words. Please pray for us. I can't do it, and I'm scared.Thank you.Kaiya

milana1023

Prayers going up for you right now. Put this in God's hand and watch him go to work.

viccimarie

Praying for you and FI. Remember to keep GOD 1st and you will get through this. I pray for you and will continue to do so. God Bless you!

Lovie 129

I'm really trying to put it in God's hands, but this has rocked my soul. I can't find peace tonight. No one is answering their phone, and I'm home alone. I can't do this by myself. I have too many questions, I'm restless. If anyone has felt this way, please tell me how you got through it.

MIABRIDENTAMPA

Just hold on, let God know your heart and everything will be okay, promise:)

ddyoung

Kaiya - my heart is really going out to you right now. a couple of weeks ago i had these exact same feelings of needing questions answered and having to wait until FI got home andd having to try and calm myself down while my mind was doing its own thing (i posted about it "cannot breathe!").  and just yesterday i received another blow to this relationship and just like you, I couldn't even find the peace to pray for myself.  I couldnt pray for 'us' because my heart was in no place to talk to God. and that's when i had to enlist prayer warriors on my behalf just like you are doing now. even if you can't say a detailed prayer ask God to protect your heart and to guide your thoughts and actions.my relationship, just like yours, was in the middle of a battle. and as long as you realize that is the enemy out to destroy you you are on the right path. you just have to look at the enemy in the face and say i know what you are trying to accomplish, but i will rise victorious because i know who holds my fate. you will make it out of this situation a better couple. i really do believe it.  i put up with stuff that you couldnt have convinced me of a year ago. even with a million dollars. if this is who God has put you with, it will work out. don't worry about that. the only reason the Devil tries to attack you is because he knows that you have the ability to glorify God through your relationship.  if your relationship wasn't worth anything, the enemy wouldn't even try to attack it - he wouldnt see it as worth it.  i hope i'm making sense. i am really just pouring out my heart right now and trying to believe these words myself. don't let the fear consume you! fear and God can't be in the same place at the same time.i will say a special prayer for you and FI until you let us know everythings A OK. and even after that i will continue to pray for you guys. someone recommended the book the power of the praying wife by stormie omartian on this board and when you are back on track I highly recommend getting it and keeping it by your bedside or in your bathroom or in your quiet place.i could go on writing for days but all this to basically say i feel you! if you ever want to reach out and need some special prayers or fasting done on your behalf don't hesitate to reach out to us. thats what this sisterhood is for.be strong! you are loved!

dlthompson22

Hi Kaiya, I cant say I know how you feel cuz I haven't been there. I will be praying for you and FI and hope everything is ok. Remember if you ever need friends you can count on we are here for you. May God Pull You thru this battle. Have A Good Night

milana1023

I have been where you are Kaiya, in a few different situations. And everyone handles things differently. Crying is absolutely fine. My grandmother used to tell me that crying is simply God's way of removing weakness from our bodies. Don't feel like you have to understand or know the answer to everything right now. Let God do His work. And when He speaks to you, you will know how to move.

KimRhone

My prayers are going out to you and FI. I hope that you two can pull through this difficut time. God will not put you through anything that you can't handle. Just keep the faith

Lovie 129

Thank you all so much. What I am about to say is incredibly hard. I have not talked to FI since Wed. morning. He is not answering his phone, notreturning texts messages, and its not only with me, he hasn't talked to any of his sisters either. We called him so much his voice mail box is full. Tonight I filed a missing persons report with the police. Of course, they ask about problems, arguments, drugs. My FSIL just told me tonight he had a drug problem some 20 yrs ago. I saw no signs of drug use( I know what drugs can do from job). I talked to my mom a bit ago and she said he was a little stressed about the wedding, money, and giving me everything I wanted. I feel terrible. FI is not a complainer and will move the sun for me, but he keeps his feelings to himself when he's really distressed. I'm scared b/c my mind went straight to drugs, the worse. I am ashamed that I didn't see he was stressing. If he is on drugs how will I get through this. I don't believe in leaving someone b/c they have a problem, but drugs are serious. I'm drained. My mom told me to start thanking God, even if its just to say it. DD, I really feel you. I need warriors like the 300 Spartans! You ladies are awesome, I'll probably be off and on cause I can't sleep and this keeps me from crying...the ugly cry.

milana1023

We are definitely here for you. I agree, start giving praise and thanking God now. I'm still sending up prayers for you.

dlthompson22

We are here for you Kaiya. You know I'm a big cry baby and just reading your last post brought tears to my eyes. I hope and pray everything is alright with you and FI.Some of us are here all night so if you need us WE ARE HERE.God wont put nothing on you that you cant handle and you are a STRONG WOMAN so hold on. Love Ya Sista.

mahoganieyes

I'm praying for ya'll. Just take a breath, and relax because he will call. There is nothing that can not be fixed as long, as you believe in the name of Jesus!

ddyoung

I am usually on here pretty late to because I'm west coast time so type away girl lol. And I agree with your mom and milana, just start thanking Him. go listen to that song praise him in advance. sometimes praising him in the midst can bring your blessing :-)

Panda16

I'm praying that everything works out for the best! Just know you have support here. 

khaligumbs

Hi Kaiya:  Sorry to hear about the problem. Wednesday is a few days ago.... I would be worried also. I agree with the comment about crying. Cry out if you have to. And keep praying. Prayer works!   I will also pray for you and your FI. Sending some hugs your way.

miss2mrscj

I'll keep you and FI in my prayers. I agree with the other ladies it's ok to cry! Crying always helps me! TThis is situation that requires GOD and I send prayers up for you until your situation is resolved...Sending big knottie hugs your way!!!

brobin01

I'm super late but honey I am praying for you and fiance as weel. I pray for strength as well. I also pray for his safety. Please please get on those knees and hand it to god. Please keep us updated honey..we love u dearly.

Lovie 129

Still no word from FI. The police have not called back since last night to tell me they tried to call a friend of his. That particular friend was very upset I gave their name and let me have it. I felt for a brief moment I had done the wrong thing, but I know I didn't. My mom has been my rock, without her I would have lost my mind. You all have been friends I don't have in person. I am not doubting God and what He can do, I just want FI to come home safely. His cell phone still goes straight to voice mail which is still full. I go from praising God to utter depression, I just want to be on an even mood. Thank you ladies so much for your support, you have no idea how much this means to me, really! I will keep you all informed, and I pray I have some good news, or simply some news soon.Kaiya

jlstewart

Kaiya I am praying for good news for you and your FI even if its just a call from him to say he's ok. God will get you both through this.

trevette1981

I'm gonna pray for you and your FI. Everything will work out soon. Don't worry.

tamtam7

I almost cried while reading this.  I truly wish the best for you and your FI, whatever the situation is.  I can tell that you have such a beautiful spirit and you deserve the best that life offers.  You are in my thoughts and I hope that you overcome this battle in your relationship.

sdstephens2010

I am also praying for you and your FI. God is able to do exceedingly and abundently above all we can ever ask and imagine!

Lovie 129

Ladies,Still no word from FI, but the most amazing or should I say blessed thing happened to me in the midst of another breakdown. I called my mommy, we are incredibly close. She began to talk to me about the fight or flight response in people (my mom is a clinical psychologist). While she was talking to me, I got it. My FI was in flight mode. If any of you know what that is you know it lasts for a while until they feel comfortable enough to resurface. While his actions are painful for me ( I was playing the victim role very well), it must be horrible for FI. He is retired military, less than 2 yrs out, and is not used to failure, engaged to a southern chick with enough mouth to take out the Taliban. I immediately changed my prayers from focusing on my victimization to blessing FI and allowing him to feel God wherever he is and letting God reveal Himself to FI. I'm so peaceful now b/c I know its out of my hands for real, I gave this to God and let Him keep it. I'm still concerned because I haven't heard his voice and I don't know when I will, but God is awesome and FI is ok.Thanks again ladies, from the ottom of my soul. I read all the posts all night and morning long, even printed several of them out. I keep saying you all don't know what your support means, but I'm positive you do.Love Ya'llKaiya

ddyoung

so glad to hear that you are in a better place :-) still praying for you and FI's safety.

KimRhone

I am so glad to hear that you are in a more positive place. I've been thinking about you all day. I hope that your FI can get through what he is feeling. I sympathize with him because I am like that to a certain extent. When I can't deal with my feelings I tend to run far away from them. I will pray for him. I pray that he make it out soon. I pray that God reaches down and make sure that your FI knows that it is ok. I pray that he will realize that you will support him in whatever he does. I pray that he knows that he isn't a failure and that you will love him reguardless. I will continue to keep you two in my prayers.

Lovie 129

Thank you so much Kim. My focus has been less on me and more on FI. Since then, I've felt lighter, more free. My heart is with my FI, no doubt, but I "have to" trust in God to keep him safe. Now I pray its Gods will that he come home to me.

viccimarie

I'm glad to hear you are in a positive place. You have been on my mind so I asked my church to pray for you as well. Just remeber God doesn't want us to worry about anything at all just turn it over to him and he has the rest!

Lovie 129

Good morning Ladies,I woke up hoping FI will come home today or at least call. He cleared his voice mail some time last night, so my mommy was able to leave him a message. I didn't want to b/c I would sound like a weepy blabbering idiot. I don't want to overload him, so I'm holding back. Knowing that he possibly read my previous texts messages and heard my voice mails and still will not call nor come home has me worried that he never will....that is a devastating thought, but I'm trying not to go there. My mommy said I did all that I could, the ball is now in his court.It's hard you know. I keep wanting to ask God His will be done, but what if its not His will that FI come back home to me. We pray for things we want, but does God intend those things for us, this is where I am now. Thanks again for all the prayers. I'll continue to keep ya'll posted until he calls or comes home. I'm on break today and tomorrow, so I'll be on and off the board throughout the day.Kaiya

nitaashanti78

I have been praying for you and FI since I read this!  My heart goes out to you.  I knowthat things will come to a happy end and I'm glad you're in a better place emotionally. 

foxxy1

I'll pray for you and your family. Stay strong. With God by your side, you can't fail.