Why does it always have to be your family?? Long Sorry

KimRhone

My brother was incacerated for 7 years and he's been home for 2 years. When he 1st went in, I was 13 so I was still a child. When he came home I was all grown up. I thought that he and I would be close because we could relate a little. Fast forward to now, we barely speak. We stopped speaking for a while because we had an arguement and he was about to hit me. He doesn't like my fiance for me (they get along otherwise), he says that we are only getting married to beat him and his fiance to the alter. Yesterday he had a conversation with my mom (she wasn't going to tell me) and he told her that he wasn't going to come to the wedding. WTF?! It has been a constant back and forth with him. I love him and I don't understand why he does these things to me. I try so hard to be a sister to him and he doesn't do anything to be a brother to me.

dlthompson22

Hey KimRhone, Reading your post almost sounds to familiar. I have a sis from my dad's side. When we were younger I may have saw her like 2 or 3 times, as I got older I began to search for her and found her. I called her and we have talked a few times. Im in Wisconsin and she's in Illinois (1 1/2hrs away) when I call she dont answer, dont return phone calls or anything. When I go to Chicago and visit I always call her and guess what she's getting dressed and will call me back so she can see me. by the time she calls back I'm back home in Milwaukee already. I haven't talked to her in years.Fast forward........So everyone does the facebook thing nowawdays, I searched for her found her and sent a friend request. She accepted but I have been now for the past 2 months sending her a request for her phone number so I can call her. No response but yet she updates her status daily. Some of family where she lives has seen her and she has made comments to them about me being raised by a wealthy family. What does that have to do with anything. I Give up, You can only try so much, I wanted to invite her to my wedding but how can I with no contact. I have finally thrown the towel in.Sorry for the long story but when I read your post I had to vent with you.I know your pain and how you feel.

sdstephens2010

Wow, it sounds like he may be jealous of the love he sees between the two of you. Just pray for him and keep moving. This battle is too big for you to fight, so let God fight it for you. With being incarcerated that long, especially since he was a child, there maybe some envy associated with all of this. He should probably consider counseling.

foxxy1

Honey, let God handle this. It's clear your brother has issues that are much deeper than you and only God knows why. Just pray for him and keep it movin'. That's all you can do now.

neasy2004

Hey KimRhone, Well girl, somebody once told me that you teach people how to treat you. Dont let him get away with  it  love him and leave him alone. It might hurt But after awhile not as much because you  gave an honest effort. You only can control what you do. With that being said I hope you feel better.Neasy....

[Deleted User]

Hey KimRhone, I agree with Neasy!! I would love him and give it to God! Still invite him to the wedding but exspect him not to come, if he does so b it if not no love lost!! His lost not yours. I know that is our brother and u love him dearly but somrtimes u have to love people from a distance!! Continue to pray about it and let God reveal the answer ;-)

MrClintonsFirstLady09

Kim, all you can do is move on with your plans. You have enough to deal with as far as the planning of your wedding and other day to day struggles, this thing with your brother is energy wasted because it is apparent he does not want to try to have the bond you are trying to have with him. We all post on here so many times about the issues that we have with our family members and it is so sad and unfortunate that at the most happiest time in everyone's life there is always some kind of family or friend drama and it is not fair and so undeserving. All you can do is pray for him and leave it with God for him to handle because this is a losing battle for you to try to fight right now. Just let go and let God. You stand and wait... You will be victorious in the end, I promise you that. I pray that all works out for you. HTH and God Bless....

KimRhone

Thank you for you support and advice. I will always love him and be supportive for him but I just know that I can't expect the same from him. Thanx again

clross01

You will be surprised of things people are jealous of.. Like pp stated love him and move on... Its sad that you have to love your family from afar but its sometimes best that way.. I have family members that I have to love afar otherwise, we would probably hurt each other emotionally...

Lovie 129

Kim,I agree with pp. Pardon my french, but often times fam f's you 1st and f's you worst. Accept your brother where he is in his life. Where you have progressed in your life, he may be stagnet in his, causing his jealousy. There will always be better days, trust me, and you know what I'm going through.

dreamgirl84

In addition to praying on it, try killing him with kindnes. Ask him to go with you to lunch or bowling, whatever you do for fun and see if he will come around. Just the 2 of you, just in case he feels like someone is taking his sister away before he got a chance to get back aquainted with you...