Washington-Seattle

Why does she DO that?! (vent)

So I think I posted yesterday about how I tried on a dress this past weekend that I loved so much I cried. I mentioned to my mom today over IM how my phone calling went yesterday and she responds with this, "Do you mind if I say that I didn't like the dress? It makes one look fat unless they have absolutely no shape at all."I felt gorgeous in that dress, shapely and not fat or stumpy. First, um, yes I DO mind if you say you didn't like the dress. I told you how much I am in love with that dress. And since I sent her pictures of ME IN the dress, she's saying she thinks I look fat!! I HATE this woman!! I'm all upset yet again. This is the reason I've spent my lift always feeling fat...I got 'the talk' when I 'ballooned' from 107 to 109 lbs at the age of 13 (puberty!) over the course of 4 months. I got told on my way out the door to HS graduation that I had to change because I was too fat to wear the dress (at 118). I've lost 18 pounds over the past 9 months and am feeling good. SHE's the one 60 pounds overweight with a doctor telling her to drop it because she's prediabetic.
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Re: Why does she DO that?! (vent)

  • edited December 2011
    I am sorry. That stinks. You only sent her a picture right? Maybe she will change her mind if she sees you in person. It is hard to see details in a low resolution image. That being said, ignore her. All that matters is how YOU feel and if you feel great you will look great.
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  • edited December 2011
    omg. I'm so sorry. I have a grandma who thinks I'm disgusting because I'm fat and I actually am, fat not disgusting. So I know how that feels. My whole life she has excluded me from things, saying I can't fit in her car but my brother and sister can... she used to tell me I'm dirty because my dad is italian and i tan really easily and my hands and feet are darker... You looked AMAZING in that dress. Don't listen to anything she has to say. She is just out to bring you down. You don't need to take advice from those like that. It's hard because she is your mom but who cares. When I tried on a few dresses that I love, this certain friend made really mean comments about them. Especially when wearing the one that I love... People are just jealous. ANd they can suck it.  
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  • edited December 2011
    I'm so sorry. My gma was like that. It sucks. As much as it is frustrating, just remember that you looked fantastic in that dress and you felt amazing in that dress. That's all that matters.
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  • emilyasiegelemilyasiegel member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm sorry, I'm with everyone else, she's your mom, but screw what she thinks! All that matters is that you feel good in your dress. My mom went with me to try on dresses and actually said my dress would look great once I started working out my arms! I told her I was shopping for a dress to fit my body not the other way around. Now everytime I see my arms in the mirror I cringe. Mom's can be really mean, just don't forget how you felt in the dress, her opinion is exactly that, hers.
  • dmw_2010dmw_2010 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm sorry she's not particularly supportive. Chalk it up to her being her, and knowing that you feel and look fantastic in that dress.
  • edited December 2011
    It always shocks me when I hear that some bride's have to deal with family and friends like that. I'm blessed to have a mother and friends that are supportive of what I want. It DOES NOT matter what she thinks! You feel beautiful in the dress, so you will look beautiful in it. This day is for you and your FI and no one else! I made a decision very early on that I wouldn't let others take away from our wedding with judgments and negativity. I don't know about you, but I'm thankful for the great supportive girls on this board. We are here for ya! :)
  • edited December 2011
    That's exactly why I posted. I knew you all would understand and be supportive and help counter her negativity!
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  • edited December 2011
    Trust me I know how you feel, and I'm sorry she is saying that. My mother told me that I needed to lose 50 pounds before the wedding to look good in any dress. Mind you at the time I was 160 and 5 feet 6 inches. If I lost 50 pounds I would weigh 110 and look emaciated.You looked absolutely beautiful in that dress! Don't listen to your mom she doesn't know what shes talking about.
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  • edited December 2011
    Try not to let your mom bother you. That dress is gorgeous and all that matters is that YOU like it. Also, I was going to tell you I'm 99% sure I tried something like that on either at I Do or at La Belle Elaine. Maybe give them a call to see if they have a style like that.
  • carrieoz_76carrieoz_76 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You looked gawgeous, mawvelous, amaaazing.  Seriously - it was very pretty and flattering.  Your mom must be smoking something.  So don't internalize her crap.You need to put this the in box called Things I Can't Control And Will Therefore Ignore (also known as the Crazy Sh*t My Mom Says box).  Then close the lid on the box, and put it away.  I'm sorry she said that.  It's not true.  Don't let it take your joy in that dress from you.
  • jesgregjesgreg member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    And we wonder why so many girls have a complex!  I'm really sorry your mom said that to you.  Between snarky comments and the media, I'd be surprised if there's a girl left without some sort of body issues.Take it from all of us on the board who saw the same picture- you looked smoking hot! 
  • melissa82melissa82 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm sorry. =(It's your dress and you're the one who has to love it and wear it! You will look gorgeous on your day!
  • edited December 2011
    Thanks everyone. I got a chance to chat with my (step)sister who made me feel a millions times better.Carrieoz - that cracked me up! I'm SO making myself a huge mental box and labeling it that!
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  • melissa82melissa82 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You need to put this the in box called Things I Can't Control And Will Therefore Ignore (also known as the Crazy Sh*t My Mom Says box). Then close the lid on the box, and put it away.LOL, FI does this. He calls it "Bucket 3"...I forget his whole thing, but basically it's the same idea, with the first two buckets being things he can do something about.
  • edited December 2011
    I'm sorry she said that to you.  That was actually rather rude and selfish, IMO.  One thing I've noticed about people who point out flaws in others that do not exist is they tend to point out flaws of their own.  It's similar to the "Whoever smelt it, dealt it" saying - they're trying to direct attention away from their own flaws by pointing them out in everyone else around them.  It also kind of reminds me of the cliques in middle school.  Bleh.  I say ignore her and just plain don't talk to her about anything that has to do with clothing.  You've got your BP, friends, and us.  And who knows - maybe she'll start to catch on after a while that you're not really talking to her about some of the stuff anymore and consider.
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  • ZistaZista member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Unbiased opinion: you do look stunning in that dress. You want that I should kick her a$$?
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  • edited December 2011
    I think that dress looks great! I also just showed FI and he thinks your mom is crazy! Do what you love and realize that you are the one that needs to be happy about your dress and your wedding... I kind of understand what you are talking about... My mom has also said some not nice things... You are not fat and you need to try to believe that (trust me I know it is SO easy to say and NOT easy to believe.... Do what makes you happy here though... You and your FI will look back at your wedding for years and YOU are who needs to be happy with it.... We are never going to be able to change what people say about us... We can only change how we react to it... I hope you get the dress that you love! It looked great to me!! Good luck whichever way you go!
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  • edited December 2011
    I totally love all of you! <3 Thanks so much for the support!
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  • edited December 2011
    I'm Late, but chiming in w/pp. when you love something you love it and you dont have to explain why. You love your Fi you love your dress. You found your "one" and you are lovely and beautiful and worthy of princes/queen status in it, or out of it. My mom liked a different dress that I tried on more than my "one" but I got my one anyway because I loved it and felt how you felt about it. This is your one. Enjoy it, love it, appreciate it. Congrats on finding it!
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