I felt myself falling apart last night. I did hold in my tears though. At random times I felt tears trying to come on, but I fought them well. There is a mix of things going on right now.
1. I have to pack up and freaking move in 5 months. I have been living in this house and in this bedroom since I was 7 years old. Over the years there has been times when I have cleaned things out and such, but never this much. I have only not lived in this house for a year when I moved off to college and for the 4 months I stayed in Belgium with my FI. I really don't know what to do with myself. I have to start seriously gettng rid of things in here because I can't just pack it in my car and drive to Europe. I need only what I can fit into a few large suitcases and a few boxes to ship. I have to keep in mind that the apartment in Belgium isn't the biggest and to store things there is horrible since they don't build apartments with closets there.
I'm just overall nervous about this move and not having my family. I won't see my mom from July until Christmas, my FI has promised to fly her out for Christmas. This right now is the biggest issue and I think I need to make an appointment to see a psychologist just to talk about my fears.
2. This one bridesmaid has yet to seriously get back to me. The dresses of all the other girls have been started by the seamstress, but she has yet to seriously call me about getting her measurements and starting the payment plan for her dress. She has been in my area for nearly 5 days now and I have had contact with her once when she wrote to be on fb that she was going to San Francisco. I live righty by San Francisco (on the way to Sf coming from her way) I live less than 1 minute off the freeway and the measurements seriously only take 1 minute. She has said nothing about coming by or anything. She was the one who was all excited about the wedding and wanting to do stuff and excited to get the dresses, its time for stuff and she is no where to be found besides her random fb updates. At first I gave her slack because she and her bf were having issues and then they broke up. I was being really gentle and stuff because of that and now she is acting like it was nothing.
She even flaked on my FI, She was supposed to be going to Europe for a few weeks and she wanted to go to Belgium for a couple days. She asked my FI if she and a friend of hers can stay at his place. My FI said yes and he is really picky and weird about ANYBODY staying at his place so it was REALLY huge of him to say it was okay. Days before she was set to come she sends me an fb message saying to tell my FI thanks, but she won't be going to Europe afterall. I firstly found it odd that she told me to tell him because when she originally asked she went straight to him which I wasn't to happy about because where I come from if you are going to ask the boyfriend or husband of anybody for anything and you are mostly friends with the girl you ask her always because its rude to go straight to him.
I seriously don't know what is up with her. My FI said to just kick her out the wedding, but I don't want to be rude and just do that. I am giving her a week to get in contact with me. I will email her one more time to ask for the measurements or for her to go come here to get them done, if I get no response I will have to ask her to step down, I need to get this information to the seamstress. It's not my time she is wasting, but the woman making the dresses.
"Ever Thine, Ever Mine, Ever Ours"
Janae & Olivier
