We get NO RESPECT........

missqueens

Hello Ladies,

I'm just sharing my VENT with the ONE board of Knotties who will Understand......

I fell in love with these cute little cake toppers from Weddingstar.com. They make some that are humorous, some romantic and some that are just totally original. SO, my planner and I Finally decide on which one I want out of the 4 that I love. THEN, she notices that one of the possibilities lists  an "Ethnic" category as a checkout selection, but the others don't.  We go through the catalogue  and realize that, out of about 40 different types of cake toppers, exactly  FIVE list a choice for "Ethnic". 
Not to be deterred, I called Weddingstar customer service and asked if the one that I REALLY wanted can be made without the blond bride and groom  shown.    The person on the phone gave a LONG dramatic pause and said  that they come as they are and can only be altered by hair color.  So, I ask if I can custom order the topper that I want to have a BLACK bride and groom.  She responds "No. We cannot change the inventory to accommodate One Black Bride"  WTH?????

Two hours later, a Co-worker stopped me in a conference room after a meeting  to ask  me what Jumping the Broom means. I told her and she said, "That's silly. People are acting like its a tradition or something. Its just something that  slaves did. It didn't mean anything.  Why would Black people..."  ((((Note that she continued to talk, but, because I Need  my paycheck to pay for this wedding, I turned on my heels and walked out  of the room before my Uncultured side took over))))) 

As a Total Coincidence, I looked over at the Customs and Traditions board  this evening and saw some White girl talking about how it pisses her off that jumping the broom  is only associated with African Americans because it was really Pagan Europeans and gypseys who started the tradition and it was just borrowed by the Black community.

IT has ALLbeen too much for me for ONE DARN DAY.... I may have to go home and watch Amastad, or Akeelah and the Bee or some movie  where Black folks prevail....

tcjames

GIRL.I feel you! ...The ignorance that seep from between lips without conscience thought makes me wonder just how cultured some ppl really are or is it just the social norm  to be a frigging IDIOT!!

Sorry your day was frazzled by idiocy, but I praise your womanhood!!!

Enjoy your movie JUST DON"T WATCH ROOTS!!!

kiyamurph

I don't even know what to say!  Wow.  I remember looking at some wedding magazine that sold things like cake toppers and I remember thinking to myself, where are the black people?!  I feel like we've come a long long way as people but ignorance, racism, and discrimination will never go away, no matter how much we want it to.  It keeps being passed down from generation to generation and all you can do is just hold your head high and keep it steppin'.  And as for that lady from customer service, she deserves to be slapped.

kiyamurph

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_respect?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:46c6f198-e024-4464-a9a1-3634f4aedd9cPost:cf239b2a-9c05-4131-8a03-95056974cef9">Re: We get NO RESPECT........</a>:
[QUOTE]GIRL.I feel you! ...The ignorance that seep from between lips without conscience thought makes me wonder just how cultured some ppl really are or is it just the social norm  to be a frigging IDIOT!! Sorry your day was frazzled by idiocy, but I praise your womanhood!!! Enjoy your movie <strong>JUST DON"T WATCH ROOTS!!!</strong>
Posted by tcjames[/QUOTE]

<div>Hahahahahahaha!  That movie will make you want to kill somebody.  That, along with A Time to Kill, The Great Debaters, Rosewood, etc.</div>

kwillia139

great debaters is my pick!!! Ignorance is NOT cute, I don't care what color you are! I can honestly say that my anger grew as I read your post. You are a good one bc I would have had to say at least one thing to your coworker.

Ky925

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_respect?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:46c6f198-e024-4464-a9a1-3634f4aedd9cPost:8151cf0c-8b95-44c8-98a8-bda39342c595">Re: We get NO RESPECT........</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: We get NO RESPECT........ : Hahahahahahaha!  That movie will make you want to kill somebody.  That, along with A Time to Kill, The Great Debaters, Rosewood, etc.
Posted by kiyamurph[/QUOTE]
I was just about to say...don't watch Rosewood!!  The things that people say are ridiculous, I really think people just don't think before they speak.  Just goes to show how much ignorance we have to deal with on a regular basis.   Sorry you experienced a 3peat today.....woosah!!

Ky925

ok so I just read those posts....IGNORANT

Dancerppf

I wonder when we'll be on the cover of the Knot or Bride Magazine. Someone suggested to me that magazine editors believe they'll sell  less magazines with a black bride on the cover. We are sorely misunderstood and undermarketed to say the least.   

ThunderKitten2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_respect?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:46c6f198-e024-4464-a9a1-3634f4aedd9cPost:006da46c-472f-4440-85f8-6b30a9cd5164">Re: We get NO RESPECT........</a>:
[QUOTE]I wonder when we'll be on the cover of the Knot or Bride Magazine. Someone suggested to me that magazine editors believe they'll sell  less magazines with a black bride on the cover. We are sorely misunderstood and undermarketed to say the least.   
Posted by Dancerppf[/QUOTE]
THIS!!!! I looked every where for a bridal mag with an AA bride or couple on it before buying The Knot mag. But I am glad I did get that mag because it had an article in there about THIS board and it led me here. So sorry you had to deal with that fooishness today but honey love that BEAUTIFUL skin and keep it pushing! (Please don't watch Rosewood, it'll make you wanna hurt somebody, lol)

jmp0930

Yea, so I had to comment on this post. It really bothers me that she was annoyed from hearing/seeing it. It was probably a black wedding, so of course you are gonna see it associated with that culture. David Tutera is probably not going to have a catholic wedding shown where they jump the broom.

Ksk2012

Man oh man.. some people are idiots and they just don't get it. I would never say to something like that to a Jewish person or any other race. People are stupid. I plan to jump the broom and find a cake topper that doesn't look like a white bride dipped in chocolate. Mainly because I am not dipped in chocolate!
Yea keep your mouth shut to collect those checks so you can make all your payments!! LOL--- but keeping our mouths shut is the story of our people

mrswac58

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_respect?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:46c6f198-e024-4464-a9a1-3634f4aedd9cPost:9adac990-050f-4042-a99f-5e7422fae4cc">Re: We get NO RESPECT........</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: We get NO RESPECT........ : THIS!!!! <strong>I looked every where for a bridal mag with an AA bride or couple on it before buying The Knot mag</strong>. But I am glad I did get that mag because it had an article in there about THIS board and it led me here. So sorry you had to deal with that fooishness today but honey love that BEAUTIFUL skin and keep it pushing! (Please don't watch Rosewood, it'll make you wanna hurt somebody, lol)
Posted by ThunderKitten2011[/QUOTE]

<div>Have you checked out Munaluchi. Its really nice</div><div>
</div><div>OP- I am so sorry you have to del with people and their ignorance. It's really sad that we as AA get pinned with being ignorant and its those same people who need to go look in the mirror. I wonder if the chick at your job would say that to a jewish, hindu, or muslim about their traditions too. Or is it, once again, just black people. She just made cuz white americans have no cultural traditions to call upon. Hater!</div><div>Ok i'm done<img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-undecided.gif" border="0" alt="Undecided" title="Undecided" />  </div>

lsk40

Alabama weddings had a black bride on the front cover if alabama can do it you would think the knot could Im not a fan of jumping the broom but I wouldn't tell someone it was silly if they wanted to do it

2010Bride2be

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_respect?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:46c6f198-e024-4464-a9a1-3634f4aedd9cPost:fd611b17-de50-4f8a-94c1-7ca02b3d5527">Re: We get NO RESPECT........</a>:
[QUOTE]Alabama weddings had a black bride on the front cover if alabama can do it you would think the knot could <strong>Im not a fan of jumping the broom but I wouldn't tell someone it was silly if they wanted to do it
</strong>Posted by lsk40[/QUOTE]

This.

Carla1019

History Lesson Check!

AFRICANS started the tradition WAY before Celtics, Welsh, Druids, Gypsies or whoever else by jumping over an imaginary line representing jumping into a new life together and leaving behind the old lives they lived separately. The broom was introduced later.

They better be glad I wasn't on that traditions board because I would have shut everyone down. Everything originates from Africa one way or another.

bbrown185

Ugh that is disgusting... My fiance is not AA and he was really excited when I talked to him about doing the broom jump.  I don't understand why she had to go all the way back to the origins, even though she was not necessarily corect.  The point of us doing it is that it has historical significance for our ancestors.  That's it.  Escuse the HELL out of us for wanting to pay homage to that. 

I would have snapped on the customer service person because that is just ridiculous.  Just answer the dang question and keep it moving.  Also, it is just as hard to find a brown bride with a white groom...  So we are just topping our cake with flowers.

I am so sorry you had to deal with that ignorance.  You took it like a lady though and that is to be admired.

purplehoney

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_respect?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:46c6f198-e024-4464-a9a1-3634f4aedd9cPost:fd611b17-de50-4f8a-94c1-7ca02b3d5527">Re: We get NO RESPECT........</a>:
[QUOTE]Alabama weddings had a black bride on the front cover if alabama can do it you would think the knot could Im not a fan of jumping the broom but I wouldn't tell someone it was silly if they wanted to do it
Posted by lsk40[/QUOTE]

<div>I saw that magazine, i almost bought it i was so surprised! Sorry u had to deal with the ignorance of those people. They ought to be shame, this sounds like a case for the NAACP or better yet let me get my 1st lady Michelle on it!</div>

missqueens

THanks, ladies for the comments.  Just to follow up:

1. I DID write an actual letter (not email) to the customer service dept. of WeddingStar telling them about the insensitivity of their representative AND telling them that I am disheartened by the lack of diversity in their products.

2. Turns out my co-worker was curious because she is married to a BLACK MAN!  (I had NO IDEA!). She came in on Friday and said that she had just gone to her husband's sister's wedding last weekend, and saw the Broom jump for the first time, then she noticed the movie. So, because she  knows that I'm getting married, she asked me about it.  I asked why she didn't ask her inlaws at the time and she said that she didn't want to look stupid in front of them because they don't really accept her anyway.  SO, I got to have a "teaching moment" when I told her that I wasnt offended by her questions, but by her dismissal of a tradition of which she knew nothing about. I told her that, for generations, Black people's culture, heritage, traditions and existance has been marginalized and minimized by White American society, while this country has benefited from our presence.  For her to say that something is "silly" is quite disrespctful. If you don't want to do it, just like breaking glass, binding wrists, or any other cultural tradition, you don't have to.  I don't think she REALLY got all that, and she did NOT apologize, but I got  a chance to say what I needed to.

3.  When I got home on the other night, I turned on the TV and saw that THE Great Debators  was on.  I quickly turned off and read my new Oprah mag instead!!! LOL

HAVE A GREAT HOLIDAY WEEKEND, LADIES!!!!!