hmmmm...... well lets start with i'm glad I had a videographer and photographer because I was "that bride". I got hammered before I even left the hotel room and don't remember the wedding.
Lets start with Saturday night right before christmas.
my HUUUUSSBAND's (in my 20pearls voice) family kept messaging me on fb saturday night asking if we were coming over monday and tuesday for christmas. He said absolutely nothing to me about it. So sunday I asked him and he said yeah. OH sh!t son! I didn't buy gifts! got dressed went xmas shopping.
Monday Xmas EveWent to work, had to clean off my desk and move to a new cube (new job position), finished up projects and ran to macys on lunch break - for xmas gifts. realized, I no longer have my friggin license. FOR REAL. so that night i tear up the house looking for it - never found it.
Tuesday christmas- I ended up not going to xmas and finished sewing rail cover tues
diy railcover: YES! each one of those twinkle lights are sewed down!
Wednesday after xmas- Went to the misters family for a late xmas because his brother just got in town. but before we went over there he got a call saying his tux was FINALLY in so we go pick it up beforehand. WHY DID THE
store order the WRONG vests and the boys jacket and shoes too small!!!! i looked at the worker real stupid for a long 2 minutes and said i gotta get the F out of here before my inner negro come out. so i left and went to the car. Mister come about 20 mins later and said the man said he'll have everything in by noon today and he gave him free hankerchiefs for all the men. (everything came back okay except just yesterday he told me the men were supposed to have bowties and not regular ties- i'm about to email them suckers)
tuxes: (i'm a little glad they got that wrong)
ThursdayWent to get my id renewed and nails done. THIS WAS A PROCESS. I went to the dmv to just get a duplicate (here you don't get an id right away- you get "yellow" papers and you wait 3 weeks for your ish to come in the mail). so i went to the dmv by my house. I wanted them to print my picture out with it. the lady said she can't and they don't do that (i worked for dmv 10 years ago- i know they do). so i cussed her out and left. well in the process i think i left my yellow papers in there and was too embarrassed to go back in. so i went to the one downtown. I didn't want to get a duplicate just in case the system would catch it so i just renewed it. asked the lady to print my picture out with it, she said no. I laid my big head on that counter and CRIED MY EYES OUT. it worked. she printed out my picture. Then since i felt like a million bucks, i went and got shiiiiity at chili's and got my nails done.
nails- they totally killed my buzz dude.
I was feeling nice and was about to get pampered. What could possibly go wrong??? The lady that did my nails was nice however when i got there i was the only one in there getting mani/pedi, they had 2 workers. another lady came in. 20 mins in 4 more people walked in. so while the lady was in the middle of doing my nails she started giving this man a pedicure! no gloves. no washing of the hands. after scrubbing and clipping his toes she came over to my hands with her foot juice wet hands and started lotioning up my hands and arms!!!!!! I was thoroughly disgusted and wanted to THROW UP! I told her i didn't want that part and just paid and left. I paid $55 dollars for her to rub me up with that mans foot sweat and TOE JAMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW GROSS!!!!! I went with snowflake sticker that i put on myself because that lady wasn't touching my hands NO MORE!!!!
Friday- packing up all wedding and moving into the embassy suites by the airport. UGHHH.
Saturday- hair/makeup show up hungover but she did her thang! it was about 9 she was supposed to be there at 7am. then MOH show up and photographers and videographers. well..... we had plans to tour the capitol at 11.30am. at noon my other 2 bms are a no show, and me and moh were drinking wine since 10am. they finally show up close to noon and start getting dressed. we late to pick up van and hubby is a dummy and didn't mapquest or anything so we drive around a big circle for 40 minutes. got van get show on road. around 330 pm we drop all wedding stuff for people who were going to set up. well the place said we can go ahead and go in there and set up so we did which i'm glad because i could supervise and put things the way i wanted. well about 1.5 hours later, we're done. My brother starts drinking and then all of a sudden i'm at the bar with him drinking whatever the heck it was.
before wedding:
6:30 come around and i'm plastered and we have to say our vows. we did that we ate we drank, we danced, I I drank some more, I insisted I cut the cake in my oversize "photobooth glasses" and hubby made me leave at 10:30.
MOH DRESS:
OH YEAH, and since dumb and dumber were late- they didn't open their gifts and wear the New Kids on the Block buttons or their dam pashminas!!!!
everything else was lovely- The mister kept opening boxes saying "what is this shyt, you bought that!?, WTF TASHA!!!!" But the next morning he was talking about how nice everything looked
I put the "photobooth" in the corner where hardly anyone could see, but when i started leaving people were starting to use it. the "marble column" was supposed to go with the photobooth after ceremony but there's a little dip in the ceiling and it wouldn't fit.
I also don't know what happened to my cake. LMAO!!!! it was a sad sad VERY SAD cake.
Sunday- I somehow manage to wake up we get on plane. boom- we in vegas! we get a shuttle to our room at the fremont and we go out to Pampas brazilian steak house where i ate my weight in meat. We got back to the hotel and we went out on fremont and drank- another night i don't remember.
Monday (nye)- we had some coupons to use and this is the day his family come into town. so we went atv riding (FUN AS HECK- HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!!!!!) They drove us out to the valley of fire and we rode for about 4 hours.
I saw something in the dirt on one of our water breaks and it took me awhile to find it - but i found this earring in the desert. I brought it to pawn stars and they said it's real gold- fake diamonds- and they'd give me $15 for it. I'm keeping it in my jewelry box as a memory.
when we were done since we were already on the strip (and last day to use our coupons) we went to the wax museum. we unfortunately didn't plan well and we were DIRTY AS HECK. You can blow on my wool coat and dust will poof out. I was a little embarrassed but what can you do.
After the museum we went back to hotel ate dinner with his uncle, aunt and their family. they left thats when the rest of them showed up. came in my room, started smoking the ganja (which i was a little upset about because i don't know if i'm gonna get tested when i come back) and we all drank some more. I don't remember the rest of the night.
Tuesday (the hangover project)- His grandma come into town so we decide to rent a car. We go for breakfast go up to the place. the car was only $12/day everyone else was $40. so can you guess what that line looked like? We got there around 3pm got his grandma and was out of there at 5pm- VR is scheduled for 6pm. so we race back, get changed and go to Allure for VR. everything was EXCELLENT! SO FUN! so then we all went to mainstreet station buffet for dinner. go back to hotel- change and we drank alllll night long.
Wednesday- We went to target to buy me a new coat because mine is dryclean only. then we went to visit my cousins, then we went to pawn stars, and then back to casino where i only had 2 bloody marys and lost $50 at the poker table. Hubby WON $800 on roulette with only $50 start. HOLLA!!!!! then we got into room about 1am and went to sleep.
Thursday- I'm EXHAUSTED and i can't use the bathroom (go back and read tell'em tuesday). We left at 8am, working on ZERO sleep and just binge drank for 5 or 6 days. If you are my blood type- I'll be hounding you down for your liver and/or a couple kidneys.
but
WE'RE MARRIED!
(wedding ring making the light dance- AWWWWWWW)
my recommends: spanx with pee hole. the end.