Cheating

kthowell

While on my honeymoon I got the news my cousin's wife killed herself. Soooo young and full of life....why she did this because her husband was cheating. Love can make you do some crazy things! I have refrained from speaking on this matter because my thoughts on this situation ......is just ughhh I just wish women would leave people husbands alone and men stay where they belong...... (yes the woman he cheated with met in their home) ughhh

[Deleted User]

Omg! my heart goes out to u and ur family and sorry u had to hear about that on ur honeymoon..so sad.....

kthowell

yea.....it ruined my honeymoon

msbdumas

O M G....I am so sorry this has happen !!

I can't even imagine how your cousin feels. I will be praying for you and the family. Now Im bout to get ignorant for a min...

this chic knew he was married so why in the hell would she step out with him. I hope this girl wasnt friends/associates with his wife. This is exaclty why people go to jail for whopping that azz or getting shot at. I would have beat the B I C T H down and in that order and his for that matter !! 

Like I said im sending T & Ps your way honey !

kthowell

Mrsbd....dont get me started on that hoe.....but its crazy this whole situation. I am not going to pretend I was close to his wife because i wasnt , i never cared for her but for another woman to steal your home. Must hurt like hell

MrsSmith2Be02

OMG I'm so sorry to hear that. That is ridiculous. FI says all the time he doesn't understand why people get married if they aren't ready to leave that alone. NOW to Kill yourself.....over some N*GAH???? Yea....not happening. I may whoop some azz but my life is way more important than anything you THOUGHT you were doing for me.

NOW.....who in the H3LL called to tell you that ISH on your honeymoon? They should be SHOT! I mean I know its family and all, but d@mn it at least let you enjoy your time away and tell you when you get back. #bloodboils

kthowell

Mrs Smith yessssssssssssss! I def cant and she has two children! not over no man........and my mother called me smdh!

[Deleted User]

karla i'm so saddened to hear that and I'm sorry for your family's loss.   I have zero experience with suicide and unamiliar with the step she decided to take but it may have been one of a string of things she was already deeply affected by,  though to be fair, by itself it is enough. 

Try not to be mad at whomever made the decision to call you, I can't imagine their intentions were anything except that you'd want to know as soon as possible.   While it's true you only get one honeymoon you and the mr. can spend the rest of your lives making every trip you take as special as this one should've been.   I'm so sorry honey {{hugs}}

I was just eta:  especially regretful if they had kids and then I saw your post.  Unimaginable.

msbdumas

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_nwrcheatingserious?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:51f0ae0a-6df1-4b1d-921b-5c2cddfc8e69Post:c34624be-8f53-4001-89bb-293c31037ce4">Re: Cheating</a>:
[QUOTE]Mrsbd....dont get me started on that hoe.....but its crazy this whole situation. I am not going to pretend I was close to his wife because i wasnt , i never cared for her but for another woman to steal your home. Must hurt like hell
Posted by kthowell[/QUOTE]
 Girl...I wish a itch would..she will have wished she didnt come my way..I cant imagine why she thought to kill herself over that tho..there is more to life than a man who cheated.. and Im with MrsSmith2be..who in hell called you on the honeymoon ?! 

TL25

I'm sorry for your loss. I can only imagine the pain that her family is feeling and how is your cousin doing? Is he on suicide watch too? N it sucks that it happened while you were on your HM. Did they attend your wedding?

kthowell

My mother.....smh I just dont see the logic in her choice! and if you knew her you would be shocked! a true diva and seemed to love her children to death!

kthowell

TL25... I think her family is taking it hard...she was the only child.....my cousin is too.......... No they werent at my wedding....I didnt care for her at all!

MrsSmith2Be02

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_nwrcheatingserious?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:51f0ae0a-6df1-4b1d-921b-5c2cddfc8e69Post:e5edcc58-6674-4ae9-a4d3-1442683dab79">Re: Cheating</a>:
[QUOTE]My mother.....smh I just dont see the logic in her choice! and if you knew her you would be shocked! a true diva and seemed to love her children to death!
Posted by kthowell[/QUOTE]

You never know what people are struggling with. She may have known about this other woman for a long time and depending on how long theyve been married, if there were other other women, etc (not to be all on your cuz) LIFE can take a toll on people especially if they aren't grounded enough to know WHO THEY are and not what it looks like they aren't living up to be. H3ll my kids make me wanna take myself out sometimes (not really) but these kids....LAWD! They drive you to drink.....or have some kind of outlet. Kids on top of a "fill in the blank" husband....and a "friend" turned mistress......OMG!

kthowell

Mrs Smith so true you never know what people are going through.... and her son is a big boy so i know he was a sweetie and her daughter will be a year next week. and married since 09 and yea i guess trying to live up to twhat she dished out was too much. Mistress I think for almost a year.... I think the age wife 35 hubby 27 n mistress 23

leatba

Sorry for your loss : maybe she had some post partum depression. I'm glad I know who God is and know he loves me. Me and cheating have never been friends and I would def show my true colors behind it.

RealHappyGal

Im so sorry to hear this.  My 1st husband cheated and I remember how that felt.  Yes, there is rage and anger but, there is a sadness that can not be explained.  Only God's grace can bring you through that.  Its so sad that people dont understand what they think is fun and no big deal could be so distructive to some one else. 

prayers for you & all of her family

mejai1

I am so sorry that this happened and that you had to hear it on your honeymoon. I get that you weren't that thrilled with her at all, but it sucks for someone to be so despondent as to take their own life.

On the other hand, I am angry that she felt that suicide was the only option because it is such a selfish act that leaves so many behind hurt and searching for answers. Especially since she had kids. There is so much more to live for than some man who cheats.

While I hear you all on your anger towards the mistress, I have to be more angry towards the husband. There's no telling what he was saying to this chic -- "I'm in the process of a divorce..." "She's a b t i c h" etc... and that doesn't excuse the act, but he's the one that stood up and took the vow, so please don't let him off easy and take the anger out only on the 23 y/o stupid little girl that messed around with him... 

just sayin' ... sorry for bein on my soapbox, 

Again, I'm so sorry for what your family must be going through. 

nursing2u

I am sooo sorry for your families loss. We never know what is truly going on with people behind closed doors. I know that we all handle situations in different ways. I can be honest and say that I have felt that low before and by the grace of GOD.. I am still here, I guess it wasnt my time. I never thought that I would get through itk, or the situation. I am thankful because I have no idea what it wouldve done to my kids or my parents..

I am praying for everyone involved.... Definitely a hard situation!!!  Thatreally brought me back to a dark moment..

CreoleBride30

((((hugs)))) KThowell: Wow! This is so what I was not expecting to read. Okay! Let me get it together...Whew! This is so sad just all the way around. As others have stated, you never know what is going on in some ones elses life...what their struggles are, what their purpose is in this life. Many black women struggle with depression and thoughts of suicide, but in our culture it is rarely talked about. I am quite sure there is much more to this story than we know. There may have been other issues this lady was dealing with. Things that she couldn't handle...maybe she didn't have a circle of people that she could truly talk to. This is why when we deal with people, we deal with them with a good heart...a servant's heart....because you just never know what is going on in this person's mind or life. 

While we are quick to blame the hussie in this situation, it does take two to tango. They are both adults and made decisions to cheat. Such a terrible situation. 

I extend my heart and my prayers to you and your family. Sorry you had to hear about this on your honeymoon. It sux, but life does happen in the middle of happiness and trials we are facing now. SMH...lawd! May peace rest upon her soul and her children's heart. 

How did it come about that she commited suicide due her husband cheating...did she leave a suicide letter? 

Cha

CaseynMike

First I send my condolences to you and your family. Suicide is a HARD pill to swallow. I have experienced it first hand with my daughter's father. I agree suicide is a selfish act (coming from people that have probably never contemplated suicide a day in there lives), but at the same time we have no idea what is on people's hearts and where their minds are when they decide to take their lives. I tried to talk my daughters dad out of doing it, but he had his mind made up and he was very apologetic about what he was about to do.

I am really saddened that she felt like her only way to resolve being cheated on was to take her life. Usually there are signs that people miss when people are depressed, going through something or whatever. I pray for her children because they need a mother...its hard enough that they have a cheating father which if they find that out ever it will make it hard to re-build a relationship once they know that is why their mother is gone.

kthowell

Thanks ladies! I do think the mistress and the husband is on the same level in my book. This girl met in their home so nope she is a problem and so is the husband. And she had friends wonderful friends at the....i wish you all can see this woman smother in love but we never know someones heart. And its wayyy more to the story but bottom line  life gone over a man. never will sit well with me.