RSVP Question

sarack

I know its a little premature but FI and I are discussing RSVPs.We really don't want a bunch of children at our wedding or a bunch of people we don't know. We are having our nieces and nephews but he has a HUGE family, his dad is one of 16 and his mom is one of 9. They all have a bunch of children and their children have children. That said, I really want to do the rsvp that says X seats have been reserved in your name. Then I'd like to list the name and below each name put accepts or declines.Do you think this is a really bad idea? How else can we make it clear that it is an adult only thing? So is it ok if it looks like this?Kindly reply by June 15th, 20102 seats have been reserved in your honorMs. Herfirstname Herlastname__ Accepts with pleasure__ Declines with regretMr. Hisfirstname __ Accepts with pleasure__ Declines with regretOr should it sayKindly reply by June 15th, 2010Mr. & Mrs. Theirlastname2 seats have been reserved in your honor___ Accepts with pleasure__ No. attending___ Declines with regretAlso, is it ok to put Adult Only on the invite?? Or is that just ridiculous?

jennyann28

I think it's a no-no to actually put "adults only" on there, but I like CS's word of mouth idea.  I was going to put the 2 seats have been reserved thing on ours, but now I'm kind of worried that people will cross out the number! We also are not interested in having a bunch of kids running around at our wedding.  Maybe I'll have to just do like you & put their actual names.

sarack

OK, so the adult only is a no no? Is it bad that I want to do it anyway? it does kinda look cheap except I've seen it on invitations online before. Champagne- So word of mouth only, got it. :0) Thank you. Jennyann- you helped me make my decision. I'm writing everyone's name on there. So if there are 4 people, I'll find a way to make it work.

uwhuskygirl

Ditto PP on the no "adults only" on the invite. How many people are you inviting? I did what you're thinking of doing and it was a huge PITA. We invited close to 300 though. It took freaking forever to get everything written in correctly, and with everyone's names spelled right. H has the handwriting of a 5 year old and so I had to write all of the names in. Again, PITA! If I could do it again, I wouldn't have. Ah, but thinking about it again, we had to because we had a plated dinner too. Bah. Just add on another week to your invites so that your hand doesn't cramp and you don't get too cranky.

cupcakepirate

I think if you list # of seats with the names, you should be good. 2 seats have been reserved for Mr&Mrs Joe Schmoe.I'm the kind of person that would call back people that crossed out the number and let them know that space/budget only allows for the number you specified. You're the one paying, it's your (and FIs) day & they are probably inviting ppl you dont want there/know anyway. If they can't understand that and get mad, that is their own problem. Personally, I'm cool with the 'adults only' thing. Wouldn't bother me any. But the majority says no. Idk. I did a lot of things that aren't considered good etiquette, just don't tell p&e on me.

sarack

We are having about 120. I'm definately not writing their names. Everything will be typed. And I'll make sure I have every one's names correctly before I send them out. Hopefully if I don't some one will correct me so that their place card is correct. Cupcake- I will do the same thing. If people cross out the numbers I will definately be calling them back and telling them we can't accomodate more. I've seen the adult only thing so many times but have always wondered. Fi's parents have been telling us that they think people will bring their kids anyways. Not going to happen. I can't afford to feed random people.

dmw_2010

You will always have some people that will cross things our or want to bring extras.  I say do what you can to minimize it and figure out how much of an enforcer you want to be.

melissa82

The thing about putting "X seats have been reserved..." is that if you invite Mr. and Mrs. Smith and Mr. Smith can't come, Mrs. Smith might add Little Johnny Smith to the invite because you've already reserved two seats for them anyway (in their minds), so what's the difference who takes those two seats? Then it becomes much more difficult to blame it on budget, too.I wrote "Adult Reception" on our RSVP card. Etiquette no-no, but a rule I felt best to break for our guest list, considering the problems we've had on FI's side already.

BrandyL10

I'm copying a friends invite that she did for her wedding. It said two seats in your honor, then listed me and my FI. I had to write in our names for their plated dinners, who wanted what, but on mine, I'm just going to have the acceptance box, for both names.

ahuette

I plan on doing something similar to this - without the food option.  This way you could add more people without having space issues. [IMG]http://i34.tinypic.com/2qs9xnd.jpg[/IMG]

bellevuejulybride

Hi Ladies, Speaking of plated meals, that is what we have to do as there won't be enough room for a buffet as we are planning on nearly maxing out the venue. How did you address this on your RSVP cards? I've only seen it once, but I felt like it looked something like this: Kindly reply by June 1st, 2010. __2___ Accepts ______ Declines Chicken ______jane schmoe_____ Beef _______joe schmoe_________ Vegetarian ____________________ Is this the "normal" way to do it? Any other suggestions? We also don't want children at our wedding. I don't think we are going to say "adult reception" but are going to spread the word heavily among our family. I don't think any of our friends will bring their kids, they've all said they are DYING for an adults night out! It isn't fun for the parents either to bring their kids!

Pixel'sMom

I'm planning on shoving 'Formal Adult Reception To Follow' somewhere. It really worked for the past two weddings I've gone to.

allisona97

We also had the same problem, and the venue we choose will only allow a maximum of 125 guests.  About half of our guest list have 2+ kids per couple!  So what we did was put the X seats have been reserved in your honor, then on the inserts where we had directions, hotel info, etc., we put a line on there saying:  "Due to the limited capacity at the venue, especially when it is decorated for the holidays, we were unable to add children to the guest list. Please let us know if you need a local sitter."We may have made some people mad, but if a few bring their kids without asking, then everyone who was okay with it will suddenly be insulted.  Since I have my sister's kids in the wedding party, and some of my (horse riding) students who are 14-16 yrs old, I couldn't really put "adults only".  That way it is out in the open and we don't have to lie.  It may not be the best way to do it, but we couldn't come up with a better way, and my mother, who did our invitations, is a very blunt person anyway!!Good luck!