VENT!!!

MsRichard83

Hi Ladies, 

I am so frustrtaed!!! We are exactly 2 weeks out, my parents have paid for everything except maybe $300 (The balance on the limos) and now all of a sudden my Fiance's mother and father want to come out the blue talking about they haven't had any input in anything, ans starts inviting people that we dont know. We have a cap of 150 people we are at a strong 148 right now and they complaining about needing more invitations (which we don't have) and how we should have had it at a hall instead of a place where EVERYTHING is included we just have to show up and they handle everything for us. 

My finace is getting frustrated because like he keeps telling them you can have input if you put up some funds, but they want things changed but they didnt put up a penny!!! well excuse me they put up ($150 a piece) I know they are goint to be so knit picky with everything the day of and it just really upsets me because my fiance and I have made every decision together but they make it seem like (my family) just took everything and ran with it. 

It tough to have a mother in law that wants to control everything!!! I'm not trying to fight an entire family 2 weeks before my big day!! :-( 

tirathemrs

Damn thats crazy.....its tradition anyway to let the brides family pay for the wedding and if they wanted some say so y wait 2 weeks until the event to say o i want this and that....girl brush that ish off and tell them to go sit down somewhere...smh dont let that spoil your big day...ITS YOUR WEDDING NOT THEIRS i wouldnt give a damn what they liked and didnt like (my attitude would be like honey plz im gonna enjoy this day and you cant spoil my mood)

[Deleted User]

Vonnie, if you're new to the boards, first welcome, if not HI GIRL!!! *waves* 

second - breathe luvie, you are right thurrrr.  lit'rally 2 weeks to go, there really isn't anything else to say to her, except, the planning stages have concluded and the guestlist is closed, that's not even my, his, our requirement, we're at maximum capacity for our venue.  what's she gone do?  different question, what is she gonna do that bears the slightest consequence on you?  it's over and she lost (don't say that part lol) but please don't let her trouble you any further, there's NOTHING anyone, including momzilla can do to change anything at this point, unless you want it changed. 

p.s. word of advice about dealing with control freaks:  the softer you speak, the crazier it drives em,  stand back a little bit and watch lol!!

hugs.

CaseynMike

((hugs)) I am sorry that they have come around at the last minute trying to change things...ITS ENTIRELY TOOOOO LATE NOW!

Just relax and when they come at you with unnecessary stress tell them you can't change anything and that it is too late to try to change something now. Try to remain as calm as you can and simply ask them where were they during the planning stages...better yet hand them the bill for the limos and that will be their input for being so late....

MsRichard83

You are right, It's just so crazy to me!!! Like really you do this now!!! 

We have the same bouquet!!! lol This was my inspiration bouquet!! :-) 

pearls687

{{hugs}}

I'm sorry you're having this stress so close to your wedding.  I would have your FI tell them that nothing can be changed this close to the date without some serious financial consequences, which is probably real close to the truth.  If you think they might pony up some last minute funds and it's worth it to you to appease them for the good of your future relationship, stick to that.  If you just don't want the headache at this point (which is my vote), leave out the "financial consequences" part and just have him tell them nothing can be changed at this point per your vendor contracts.  Period.  I mean TWO WEEKS OUT?  Come on FILs! 

MsRichard83

Thank You Ladies!!

 WOOOOSAAAA!! I have to relax and keep in mind what we are doing and the real purpose for all of this!! I am marrying my best friend!! He keeps saying to just focus on us and that's hard at times, but at this point that is what I'm going to have to do!! 

rsreese

Wow I'm with Tira if they wanted to be involved they should not have waited this long to say something.  I would not be changing anything at the 2 week mark.  Its way too late to be adding people and giving out more invitations, that ship has sailed.  Just remember you and fiance will love the way it all comes together because its what YOU wanted.  Don't stress about them, any problems they have they brought on themselves by waiting so long to speak up.  If they want to be knit picky on your day, let them, and go about your business like it doesn't even phase you.  They'll get over it! 

tirathemrs

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_vent-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:57d89d7e-5121-492d-a9b1-10937b8a71a3Post:a8a12813-1ffa-4016-b3a2-369c7f5b1b46">Re: VENT!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]You are right, It's just so crazy to me!!! Like really you do this now!!! <strong> We have the same bouquet!!! lol This was my inspiration bouquet!! :-) </strong>
Posted by MsRichard83[/QUOTE]
...<div>
</div><div>LOL...I over love that bouquet....and that just means we have good taste lol</div>

soontobehasrouni

time out...is your life my life in a parralel universe? cuz this sounds so familiar! i love how people wanna be the boss of stuff when they arent payin for it!!!

ive made it pretty clear, unless u throw some money at this, your opinion, wants, needs, requests, etc are unneeded and will be ignored. F yall.

tell that woman you arent cool with feeding HER friends. If she wants them to eat, take 'em on a date to applebees.


In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_vent-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:57d89d7e-5121-492d-a9b1-10937b8a71a3Post:9484641f-8514-4591-8dde-045bf31fbeb8">VENT!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi Ladies,  I am so frustrtaed!!! We are exactly 2 weeks out, my parents have paid for everything except maybe $300 (The balance on the limos) and now all of a sudden my Fiance's mother and father want to come out the blue talking about they haven't had any input in anything, ans starts inviting people that we dont know. We have a cap of 150 people we are at a strong 148 right now and they complaining about needing more invitations (which we don't have) and how we should have had it at a hall instead of a place where EVERYTHING is included we just have to show up and they handle everything for us.  My finace is getting frustrated because like he keeps telling them you can have input if you put up some funds, but they want things changed but they didnt put up a penny!!! well excuse me they put up ($150 a piece) I know they are goint to be so knit picky with everything the day of and it just really upsets me because my fiance and I have made every decision together but they make it seem like (my family) just took everything and ran with it.  It tough to have a mother in law that wants to control everything!!! I'm not trying to fight an entire family 2 weeks before my big day!! :-( 
Posted by MsRichard83[/QUOTE]

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_vent-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:57d89d7e-5121-492d-a9b1-10937b8a71a3Post:076e4cb4-6e6d-4f24-b643-213bf8d8824a">Re: VENT!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]time out...is your life my life in a parralel universe? cuz this sounds so familiar! i love how people wanna be the boss of stuff when they arent payin for it!!! ive made it pretty clear, unless u throw some money at this, your opinion, wants, needs, requests, etc are unneeded and will be ignored. F yall. tell that woman you arent cool with feeding HER friends. If she wants them to eat, take 'em on a date to applebees. In Response to VENT!!! :
Posted by soontobehasrouni[/QUOTE]

um, chels i'm scared of you a little bit.


<a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/0/1/d06afed4-f770-4e7a-81e5-fb6a7b32b9a0.large.gif" title="Click to view a larger photo" class="PhotoLink"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/0/1/d06afed4-f770-4e7a-81e5-fb6a7b32b9a0.medium.gif" alt="" /></a>

tirathemrs

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_vent-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:57d89d7e-5121-492d-a9b1-10937b8a71a3Post:076e4cb4-6e6d-4f24-b643-213bf8d8824a">Re: VENT!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]time out...is your life my life in a parralel universe? cuz this sounds so familiar! i love how people wanna be the boss of stuff when they arent payin for it!!! ive made it pretty clear, unless u throw some money at this, your opinion, wants, needs, requests, etc are unneeded and will be ignored. F yall. <strong><em>tell that woman you arent cool with feeding HER friends. If she wants them to eat, take 'em on a date to applebees</em></strong>. In Response to VENT!!! :
Posted by soontobehasrouni[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>LMFAO.....NOT THE APPLEBEES BOL BOL BOL **ROLLING**</div>

soontobehasrouni

Girl, I just dont have time or patience for nonsense. At all.... momzilla are RIDICULOUS and the worst. they tend to forget TIS NOT THEIR PARTY!!!

If they wanna invite everybody from church, your friend from high schools granddaughter, the girl who works at the grocery store, the friend they really dont like but invite to stuff to impress them anyway....throw you own damn party. No one has time to boost YOUR ego and image on MY dime.



In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_vent-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:57d89d7e-5121-492d-a9b1-10937b8a71a3Post:221105f0-e320-4d9d-ad79-6dab9fc2a825">Re: VENT!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: VENT!!! : um, chels i'm scared of you a little bit.
Posted by sultryzulu[/QUOTE]

MsRichard83

It just really upset me because she is going to be acting like she did everything to all of her friends and family, and I feel liek she is only inviting them to show off something she had nothing to do with. Some of these people don't even know us!!! 

I refuse to lose my cool though. She has all boys and is use to them doing whatever she tells them to do, and luckily the more my fiance is with me the more he is stopping that behavior because that would not work over here!!! 

soontobehasrouni

thats exactly what she is doing. Im so happy your fiance stands up to her now. you know because he does this she secretly hate your right? thats why shes trying to do a wedding take-over on you LOL

But it is what it is, GL is closed....be mad if you wanna be. oh well!

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_vent-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:57d89d7e-5121-492d-a9b1-10937b8a71a3Post:8f6a44c8-f0cc-46c9-8efc-1f132f45d852">Re: VENT!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]It just really upset me because she is going to be acting like she did everything to all of her friends and family, and I feel liek she is only inviting them to show off something she had nothing to do with. Some of these people don't even know us!!!  I refuse to lose my cool though. She has all boys and is use to them doing whatever she tells them to do, and luckily the more my fiance is with me the more he is stopping that behavior because that would not work over here!!! 
Posted by MsRichard83[/QUOTE]