African American Weddings

My Bridesmaid.

Everybody gave me their budget. It was the same. 200. She couldn't afford, or didn't want to afford it. David's Bridal is having a sale. Certain items in the store are up to 75 off, which makes some bridesmaids dresses as low as 29. Of course I told them just to have that option. The either four girls would rather skip the sale and wait until November to shop as originally planned. She, however, wants to check out the sale. Okay, no problem. In my opinion, all the sale dresses are ugly, but whatever, we can go look. So today I sent a group message of the seven dresses I liked and asked them to pick one that they like. Four were 139, the others were 99. Everybody answered except for her. I think it was because of the prices. Everybody wants short dresses, except for her. She wants long so she doesn't have to wear heels. I was cool at first cause I thought she wanted a long dress to be comfy because she is plus sized. But it's because she wants to wear flats. I don't care if you change into flats for the reception, but for ceremony and pictures, I want heels. Originally, she wasn't in the wedding, but I needed a fifth girl. She said if I had no one else, she would do it. Okay cool. But now, should I take these issues as a sign of things to come, or am I worried for nothing.?? She still hasn't answered me about the dress.
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Re: My Bridesmaid.

  • Ummm....I would take it as a sign for things to come. If your intuition is telling you to question her motives right now, then you are absolutely right in what you are feeling IMO. 

    Cha
    click here to view our Amazing Love wedding website Anniversary
  • Right, but Cha that's what I'm afraid of. Taking it as a sign of things to come. I don't want it to be like that cuz, and I left this part out, but she's FI 's sister. Now what.??
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  • do we have the same bridemaid??

    mine wants long, i want short, she refuses to have a dress with pockets, she doesnt wanna walk down with so and so, shes complaining about the cost of airfare, the cost of dresses,  she wants to get her makeup done but not by the professional i hired because she doesnt know if theyll do a good job and its too expensive and would rather go to MAC the day of the wedding and have a stranger do it instead(mind you, getting your hair and makeup done professionally is not a requirement), she HAS to hang out with us the day after the wedding...(uhm, im trying to hang out with my HUSBAND....NAKED.), insists we go to clubs every single night while in vegas. etc etc etc.. Not only is she just doing what SHE wants and not realizing she is in someone elses wedding, she is terrible with her money and not saving at all for the trip. I think she is underestimating how much it is going to cost to go to vegas and do all this and having this hood-mentality of "once she gets in tax money she will be alright" (im having a DW in APRIL). She swears she will be coming but im not counting on it. but your tax money wont be paying for your dress in october. it just pissed me off because you knew what was asked from you from the beginning and now you wanna be difficult.

    I texted my girls last week and gave them a deadline of 10/15 to order their dresses from davids. the dress is $99 and i have a $20 off coupon for both girls, they also have lay-a-way. One of the two girls didnt even text back. Pretty much im just going to see if they get the dresses by the 15th, im not going to say anything else about it. If they dont get the dresses by the date they need to get them by, then ill know whats up....im not gunna stress it....i just wanna get married. i could care less if i dont have a BP at all.

    I would do the same if i were you....if she ends up being in the wedding, great. if she keeps acting funny, oh well. pretty much, dont count on her.

    You dont NEED an even number of people on each side, no one is going to notice that anyway so dont worry about it if you lose a girl.


    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_my-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:5d69789e-2c92-40b9-a65f-09f0343fd7e0Post:c37bb093-0418-46cf-8b8c-3ec8ecc38412">My Bridesmaid.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Everybody gave me their budget. It was the same. 200. She couldn't afford, or didn't want to afford it. David's Bridal is having a sale. Certain items in the store are up to 75 off, which makes some bridesmaids dresses as low as 29. Of course I told them just to have that option. The either four girls would rather skip the sale and wait until November to shop as originally planned. She, however, wants to check out the sale. Okay, no problem. In my opinion, all the sale dresses are ugly, but whatever, we can go look. So today I sent a group message of the seven dresses I liked and asked them to pick one that they like. Four were 139, the others were 99. Everybody answered except for her. I think it was because of the prices. Everybody wants short dresses, except for her. She wants long so she doesn't have to wear heels. I was cool at first cause I thought she wanted a long dress to be comfy because she is plus sized. But it's because she wants to wear flats. I don't care if you change into flats for the reception, but for ceremony and pictures, I want heels. Originally, she wasn't in the wedding, but I needed a fifth girl. She said if I had no one else, she would do it. Okay cool. But now, should I take these issues as a sign of things to come, or am I worried for nothing.?? She still hasn't answered me about the dress.
    Posted by shano06[/QUOTE]
  • SMH! She taking the easy road or the let me get over on you because this is my brother road. Yea...that makes a difference. When it comes to "family" matters like that, it's very difficult. While this may be her way of acting out, you can plan to do what you want to do. You pick the dress you want...the whole nine...if she doesn't do it...she just doesn't...she'll probably drop out anyway and call you a few select names, unfortunately. But here's the thing...this type of thing happens to everyone..what's different is "who" will be the person to cut up....ya know. In your case, this is future family. What is your relationship like with her now? 

    Oh, let me say this...she came on as an alternate for the most part and she knew this...so she may feel like she is doing you a favor which is why all the wishy washy attitude is emerging. 
    click here to view our Amazing Love wedding website Anniversary
  • Our relationship pre wedding was great. I love his family, we get along so good. It's only when we start talking about dresses. I did think about it as she feels like she's doing me a favor or regretting that she offered to be in the wedding.
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  • soontobehasrouni that's a great idea, I just want to try to be polite about it because she is a future family member.
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  • dont worry about it....theres always one.

    people get funny when a wedding happens, especially siblings i think. my FSIL doesnt even speak to me and i have no idea why, oh well! you get an engaged and all of a sudden your family, best friends and siblings start getting all weird!

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_my-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:5d69789e-2c92-40b9-a65f-09f0343fd7e0Post:497c1786-37ef-426f-8ab7-f8010def439c">Re:My Bridesmaid.</a>:
    [QUOTE]dont worry about it....theres always one. people get funny when a wedding happens, especially siblings i think. my FSIL doesnt even speak to me and i have no idea why, oh well! <strong><u>you get an engaged and all of a sudden your family, best friends and siblings start getting all weird!
    </u></strong>Posted by soontobehasrouni[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>This!</div>
    click here to view our Amazing Love wedding website Anniversary
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_my-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:5d69789e-2c92-40b9-a65f-09f0343fd7e0Post:734ee6c4-c6c9-4b6f-895a-9f7a8191f883">Re: My Bridesmaid.</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>You dont NEED an even number of people on each side, no one is going to notice that anyway so dont worry about it if you lose a girl</strong>. In Response to My Bridesmaid. :
    Posted by soontobehasrouni[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Yep...this is true!</div><div>
    </div><div>Cha

    </div>
    click here to view our Amazing Love wedding website Anniversary
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_my-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:5d69789e-2c92-40b9-a65f-09f0343fd7e0Post:c37bb093-0418-46cf-8b8c-3ec8ecc38412">My Bridesmaid.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Everybody gave me their budget. It was the same. 200. She couldn't afford, or didn't want to afford it. David's Bridal is having a sale. Certain items in the store are up to 75 off, which makes some bridesmaids dresses as low as 29. Of course I told them just to have that option. The either four girls would rather skip the sale and wait until November to shop as originally planned. She, however, wants to check out the sale. Okay, no problem. In my opinion, all the sale dresses are ugly, but whatever, we can go look. So today I sent a group message of the seven dresses I liked and asked them to pick one that they like. Four were 139, the others were 99. Everybody answered except for her. I think it was because of the prices. Everybody wants short dresses, except for her. She wants long so she doesn't have to wear heels. I was cool at first cause I thought she wanted a long dress to be comfy because she is plus sized. But it's because she wants to wear flats. I don't care if you change into flats for the reception, but for ceremony and pictures, I want heels. <strong>Originally, she wasn't in the wedding, but I needed a fifth girl</strong>. She said if I had no one else, she would do it. Okay cool. But now, should I take these issues as a sign of things to come, or am I worried for nothing.?? She still hasn't answered me about the dress.
    Posted by shano06[/QUOTE]

    Why did you feel you needed a 5th? FI and I are so lopsided. He has 8 and I have 6. I wasn't adding just because. Had you ever considered her being a hostess? I would really talk to her because I have a cousin who was a BM and dropped out because of finances and I understood and there were no hard feelings on either side.
    image180 Made the cut!
    image 129 Ready to drop it like its HOT!
    image 7 Found something else to do
    image 44 Are just plain RUDE!
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